Chapter 37
THIRTY-SEVEN
“What the fuck?” Grey said into the stunned silence following Lachlan’s words. They’d done that to Maddy? It was like waterboarding a defenseless kitten. Fucking evil cowards.
“I know. Good thing they were all KIA. I get why she’s gun shy with men though. Anyone would be after something like that.”
“No shit. How did she get out?”
“Blaine put a team together and mounted a rescue. That’s why they’re so close.”
Ah. He’d wondered what the story was there. “Makes sense. So you’re…together now?”
“Technically. We haven’t had a conversation about it yet though.”
He shot a glance at his brother. Maddy was the first woman he’d been into since Katherine died. “But you want to be with her,” he said, seeking clarification.
“Yeah. It’s just…” Lachlan sighed. “I don’t know how long she’s planning to be here, and I’m still trying to find my way back to the place where I’m ready to risk getting into another relationship.”
Sounded like a bunch of weak-ass excuses to him. “What are you worried about?” There had to be more to it than that.
He shrugged. “That she won’t want to stay. Or that Skelly will become like a prison if she does, and that she’ll hate it eventually. And hate me too.”
Grey gave a tight shake of his head, frustrated that his brother was allowing the past to fuck with his present and future. Lachlan could downplay his feelings for Maddy all he wanted, but it was still insulting. Who did he think he was talking to? “You’re not done punishing yourself yet?”
Lachlan shot him a hard look. “Excuse me?”
They hadn’t broached this subject in a long time. Too long, but it was high time they hashed this out. They were stuck in this truck together for another half hour, and he wasn’t going to let this go without saying his piece. “What happened with Kathy wasn’t your fault.”
Lachlan snapped his head back to face forward and stared through the windshield, jaw tight. “Yes it was,” he said after a moment, his low voice slicing through the taut silence.
“No, it fucking wasn’t. It was her choice, and it was her responsibility to get the help she needed. No one else’s.”
“Enough,” Lachlan snapped. “Fucking drop it, okay?”
You know what? No. “Cut the bullshit.” He was done tiptoeing around this, watching his brother avoid any chance at real happiness out of a martyrish sense of guilt and responsibility.
“What bullshit?”
“Maddy’s great, and from where I’m sitting it looks to me like you’ve got real feelings for her.
She’s nothing like Kathy. She’s independent, doesn’t seem to mind being on her own.
She’s got her own work and interests going on, and she’s fought to overcome everything she’s been through—” He stopped before he said something he couldn’t take back.
“But Kathy didn’t,” Lachlan finished in a flat voice.
Grey snapped his mouth shut but didn’t deny it. He drew in a steadying breath, regret beginning to seep in around the edges of his anger. Fuck, he hadn’t meant to start a fight or rip open any of Lachlan’s scars. “Have you told Maddy about it?”
“No.”
Nah, bro. Pussy move. “She told you about Syria. That couldn’t have been easy.”
“No. I know.”
He shook his head, wondering how the hell to get Lachlan to see reason. “All I’m saying is, you’re not to blame for what happened, and shit, of anyone I know, you deserve to find happiness.”
“I appreciate that. But so do you.”
The abrupt shift caught him off guard. “I am…happy,” he muttered, though he damned near choked on that last word.
“No, you’re not.”
No, he wasn’t. But that wasn’t the issue here. “Whatever. We’re talking about you and Maddy.”
“Hello, pot, meet kettle.”
“Huh?” Had his brother sustained a head injury too?
Lachlan sighed. “You’re sitting there giving me shit while being a complete hypocrite.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I’m trying to—”
“Naya, dipshit. Christ. You think I don’t have eyes?”
Grey scowled and clenched his fingers around the steering wheel. Lachlan had always had this annoying way of holding a mirror up in front of him and forcing him to see the truth in the reflection. “What about her?”
“It’s fantastic that she’s thinking of joining the team.”
Grey grunted, wary about where he was going with this. It was fantastic. Except for the way it twisted the knife buried in his heart. “Hate seeing her so sad.”
“Same. Having the kids taken away like that is fucking next level cruel.”
For real. Why would Charlie’s ex do that? Naya had been an incredible stepmom to those kids from day one. “They must be missing her too.”
“I’m sure they are.” A full minute of silence passed before Lachlan spoke again. “Back to my previous statement… You realize you’re still hung up on her, right?”
Grey shook his head in denial. Deep denial where it had to stay forever. “Nah, I let that all go a long time ago.”
“Riiiight. Damn, I forgot you did that and magically became completely over her. Good for you, bro. So you’re cool if I ask her out if things don’t work with Maddy?”
Grey shot him a lethal glare. He’d had to live with Naya choosing another man over him. He could never accept her choosing Lachlan.
Lachlan smirked. “That’s what I thought. Guess that means we’ve both got baggage to deal with, huh.” He laid his head back against the headrest, closing his eyes. “Pot, kettle.” He lifted his fist, opened his fingers as if releasing a microphone. “Mic drop.”
Grey fought back a reluctant grin. “Why are you such an asshole?” he muttered.
“Dunno. Must be genetic.” He opened his eyes to shoot Grey a pointed look. Pot, kettle.
They grinned at each other and just like that, the tension between them was broken.
Lachlan shut his eyes again and settled back into the seat. “Now shut up and let me rest so the meds can do their thing. And put the seat heater on for me, my back feels like I tried to wrestle a feral moose.”
“Sure thing, princess, just let me take care of that for you.” But his lips quirked at the feral moose thing.
He hit the seat heater button and stayed silent as he drove, letting his brother doze. Lachlan could be a typical asshole older brother sometimes, but he was his asshole older brother. They gave each other shit now and then, like most brothers did.
But they also had each other’s back when it mattered. Even when it was hard. Like just now, even if neither of them had liked being called on their shit.
Grey wouldn’t trade the asshole for anything in this world.