Chapter 4
It was so stupid…but I still couldn’t let go of it—feeling like I’d been dumped by Danny, a guy I’d kissed for a few minutes in the back of a car. I should have been thanking my lucky stars I hadn’t gone through with it, but instead I was berating myself for losing the opportunity.
If I was wanting to try acting slutty, I was quite unsuccessful in my attempts.
Again, I tormented myself, wondering if maybe I smelled bad, which would have been highly possible after being under those hot lights on stage, working my ass off for the better part of an hour.
There was no getting around the fact that I perspired under those conditions.
And he hadn’t turned cold until we’d disentangled ourselves.
So that might not have been the problem.
Maybe it had something to do with my loyalty to the band.
No…that couldn’t be it.
I knew it had to be something else. Either I was a really bad kisser or I didn’t do the things I should have been doing while making out. I didn’t even stop to think that maybe he’d just wanted to get laid and the phone call had cockblocked him.
So one morning in a scene that was feeling familiar, I was sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee and filling out another application—this time for cleaning rooms at a nearby hotel.
Then I searched online for information about how to be a good kisser.
I had some techniques to try, but how would I know if I was any good without testing… and asking for feedback?
Even just thinking about it caused me to blush.
This was one of those moments where I could have used a good girlfriend…but no such luck.
After all that research, I got another cup of coffee and started scrolling through my phone, trying to decide what other jobs I wanted to apply to that day, when Braden entered the kitchen.
Frowning, I didn’t notice him at first, because I hadn’t even been called for an interview for any of the recent applications I’d turned in.
Later that day, I’d probably have to start pounding the pavement again, looking for Help Wanted signs.
Although his voice was soft, Braden said, “Morning, Dani.”
Finally, I looked up and nearly toppled over in my chair. “Holy shit, Bray.”
“Don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not.” He was wearing a suit and tie, his hair pulled back in a low ponytail—and, for the first time since meeting him, I thought he looked completely like an adult. “You look good.”
“Oh. Thanks.” Sitting next to me at the table, he set his coffee cup close to mine. “I have an interview today for a customer service position, and my dad told me to look professional. He sent me money to buy this suit.”
“I had no idea. You look great!” The suit was black, his shirt white, and the blue tie gave it just enough color to offset the monochrome.
“Don’t tell Zack. He already called me a sellout.”
“What? Why? He knows we all need jobs.” I took a sip of my coffee. When I muttered, “What an asshole,” Braden didn’t hear me because he was already responding to my first comment.
“Yeah, but he thinks I should go to the interview ‘looking like myself’.”
“Don’t listen to him. You look professional. I’d hire you right now.”
Grinning, he picked up his cup to take a sip. “Thanks. How’s your job search coming?”
“Not so good. Maybe I need to buy a suit too.”
“I’ll let you know how it goes. It might work.”
After we sat in silence for a good minute, my mind wandered back to my earlier quandary.
Even though Braden looked different, I knew inside he was still my calm, kind friend, and I could trust him.
In fact, I already knew I should and could trust him far more than Zack, the guy who’d already broken my heart more than once.
So I just spat it out. “How do you know if you’re a good kisser? ”
Once more, I’d almost caused him to spew his mouthful of coffee all over the table—and me—but he managed to swallow before that happened. Still, his eyes were full of questions when he said, “I don’t.”
“No, I don’t mean you specifically. I just mean in general.”
“I don’t know.”
I was dying to ask him how many girls he’d made out with, but Braden was definitely the kind of guy who never kissed-and-told.
Up until this point, I hadn’t thought much about it, because he’d never had a serious girlfriend in high school—but there had been that short stint when Zack had been dating Ava that I’d suspected Braden had spent a little time with some of her cheerleader friends.
More than that, though, I knew the girls in the audience might have fallen in love with Zack, but they also went crazy over the other two guys in the band.
Although I’d never looked at him or Cy through the lens of attraction, I could logically understand a girl finding them cute.
Braden had the look of kind attentiveness that many females would find appealing, whereas Cy’s quiet, brooding demeanor was quickly making girls line up to talk to him.
Because I wasn’t without the occasional suitor, I wanted to feel prepared. I almost grinned at the thought of having “suitors,” as if our male fans would be wanting to date me or ask for my hand in marriage.
Nope. I wanted to be whisked away mentally by some of the hot guys surrounding the stage—because I already knew they wouldn’t be able to steal my heart. It already belonged to someone else.
“I don’t know, either.” I didn’t even know how to tell if someone kissing me was good or bad at it—but the times I’d been kissed, by Zack more than once and Danny at the concert, had lit up both my brain and body.
Both of them had been doing something right.
“But I know when someone kissing me is good at it.”
Smiling, Braden nodded his head. “Yeah, you’re right. Me too.”
Ah…so he definitely had been kissed. As to everything else, I’d never ask, but I’d be stupid to think he was a virgin.
Suddenly, I was inspired—and if it had been anyone else sitting there, I would have chickened out.
But this was Braden…a complete non-threat and seriously sweet guy.
“What if…I mean, we could evaluate each other? We could kiss—and I’d want you to be totally honest with me about what I needed to change. And I could do that for you.”
His chocolate eyes widened momentarily and I wasn’t sure why—and it looked like he was trying not to smile, making me believe he was going to turn me down. Instead, he said, “I have coffee breath.”
I started laughing. “So do I!”
“Let’s brush our teeth first.”
Holy shit. That meant he was all in.
We must have looked like a comical pair, both of us crammed in front of the tiny bathroom sink, scrubbing our teeth as if they had to pass inspection. But then, after we’d rinsed our toothbrushes, Braden turned to me. “Are you ready?”
No…not at all. “Sure.”
His eyes scanned mine and he leaned closer, slowly, as if I might change my mind.
But I moved my lips nearer to him as well and, when we got close enough to touch, I closed my eyes.
Even though this was just so he could evaluate my technique, making eye contact would have made everything feel way too weird.
If he also closed his eyes, I didn’t know.
Cutting off my sight had another advantage—and that was to let myself forget who was kissing me.
The touch of our lips was tentative at first but it wasn’t long before our tongues tangled in a dance, making me think of weeping willow branches swaying in the wind, brushing past each other, tickling and teasing.
And I got lost in all the sensations, forgetting for a moment that it was Braden I was kissing and that this wasn’t real.
Because it felt real. And it felt like magic.
When we parted, I was nearly breathless.
And suddenly nervous. “Well?”
“I, um, don’t have a ton of experience, but…you’re a good kisser.”
Was he blushing?
I told him the truth. “You are too.”
He swallowed. “But there’s one thing.” Oh, no. Maybe he’d lied at first and now he was going to tell me for real what he thought. “You’re too tense. If you relax, it’ll be better.”
Oh…maybe I had been a little uptight. “Can we try it again?”
Braden’s eyes widened but he said, “Sure.”
“Hold on.” I took a long, slow breath into my lungs, closing my eyes as I shook my arms, trying to loosen them up. Then, I peeked just enough to make sure my lips hit the target. This time, the kiss was even better—deeper, longer, enough that every nerve in my body stood at attention.
Wow.
My last thought before opening my eyes again was that he wasn’t Zack.
He said, “That was perfect.”
“Thanks. Um, I know I said it before…but you’re an amazing kisser.”
Blushing again, he smoothed his tie as I backed away a bit. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done this right before an interview.”
Oh, God—I wasn’t sure why he’d said that and I did not want to know. But I chuckled and ran my hands down the front of his suit jacket as if brushing off any evidence.
We both heard the door in the hallway open, meaning one of our roommates had finally awakened.
I didn’t even have a chance to back out of the bathroom before Cy appeared in the doorway.
For a second, we were all silent as Cy tried to take in the scene.
“Nobody told me we had a band meeting this morning.”
“We were just…brushing our teeth,” I said, hoping I didn’t look as guilty as I felt but maneuvering past him just the same.
“Do we have to wear a suit for that shit?”
Braden finally found his tongue. “Uh…I have an interview.”
“Okay.” Although I could no longer see Cy’s face, he seemed to find our answers plausible. For all he knew, I’d been straightening Braden’s tie, giving him a pre-interview pep talk. But then Cy’s usual charm came out. “Do you mind clearing out of here so I can take a leak?”
“Yeah,” Braden said, his feet in motion. “We’re all done in here.”