Chapter 14
The van, of course, was locked—and it was hot outside, especially in that stupid leather jacket. Still, I wasn’t going to give in, so I leaned against the shady side of the van and took in several deep breaths through my nostrils, assuring myself that I’d done the right thing.
But had I?
A minute later, Zack came out and stood next to me, leaning against the van as well, as if we were just hanging out. Had he been sent to coax me back in?
Just the thought made my jaw clench.
After a bit, he said, “We support you, Dani. We get it.”
“But?”
“I’m gonna sound like a fucking asshole here…but I don’t want this causing problems with the label.”
“I don’t think it’s the label—I think it’s just that dick with a camera’s idea.”
Zack shook his head, his eyes closed when I turned my head to look at him. “It’s not. They specifically said they wanted us to look sexy.”
“Fine, maybe it is the label—but why does sexy mean you guys stay fully clothed while I bare as much skin as possible? That’s bullshit.”
“I don’t disagree,” he said, pushing himself off the van and then facing me.
“But this is our big break—and I might not be the smartest guy on the planet, but I do know that these kinds of opportunities don’t happen all the time.
I don’t think we’ll ever have this chance again.
” His eyes searched mine and I could see that old drive in there—behind the mistakes we’d made, behind the regret about his father—there was still that hunger that pushed us to where we were now.
“So you want me to just go along with whatever they say. Am I understanding that right?”
“No. You do what you need to do…but I’m asking you as a friend to consider this: what if we do what the label wants for our first album?
I know once our music gets out there that it’ll sell itself—but we have to get it out there first. When they know our music will sell well and we could go to any label we wanted for representation, they’ll be more willing to negotiate. ”
That all made sense…except for something it seemed Zack might have forgotten. “Except we can’t go anywhere because of the contract.”
“Nah. The other two albums are optional.”
Poor Zack. He was so blinded by the stars in his eyes that he had missed some of the fine print. “They’re optional for the label—not for us. If they say they want a second album, we don’t have a choice. They have us by the balls.”
He was quiet for a minute. “You sure about that?”
“Yeah. If they’re happy with the results, they’ll ask us to make a second and a third album before we can go anywhere else.”
“Fuck.”
“It sucks, but like you said, it’s not like we were gonna get another offer.”
“But that means—”
“It doesn’t mean shit.” I took one of his hands in both of mine, hoping to get him to look me in the eyes again.
When he did, I said, “You’re right about one thing.
Once we’ve made it, I can be as difficult as I want and they can’t do shit about it.
There’s nothing in that contract that says I have to bare my skin. So…let’s just get through this.”
Zack nodded. “So what do you need me to do?”
“Just stand back. I’m going to see if Jonathan and I can reach a compromise. Just…don’t take his side and we’ll be fine.”
Zack raised his eyebrows. “If you’re sure.”
“I am. Now let’s get back in there. It’s too damn hot out here.” Laughing, he patted me on the back as we began walking toward the door.
“Remind me to go to our next contract signing sober.”
Jerking my head toward him, I wanted to ascertain if he was serious or full of shit, and even though he grinned at me, I wondered.
As we walked through the door, I put on the most neutral expression I could, deciding my argument would be more effective if I could be calm when stating my case. But I got the terms I demanded—the jacket could be open, but I would keep it on.
And no one ever mentioned the miniskirt again.
It wasn’t until we were in a tour bus on the road that it hit me.
This was really happening. We were a real band.
I’d listened to our first single on Pandora and watched the number of likes climb on our video on YouTube and snippets on TikTok, but it wasn’t until we’d moved out of our apartment and taken most of our earthly possessions back home to Nopal for me and Dalton for the guys that it started feeling like reality.
Still, being home with mom for two days grounded me, making me feel like the past two years had been a dream.
The tour bus was reality.
Until that time, we’d been dealing with lots of other stuff—a merchandise deal with our label that we took because, even though we’d talked about it and come up with small items when we were independent musicians, we didn’t have the money to mass produce everything we’d need.
The label actually offered us another option—to front us the money—but that would again be like a loan, just like all the other costs associated with our first album.
I was starting to wonder if we’d actually ever see a dime.
On top of that, the label hired a tour manager for us by the name of Mick Bauer. In his previous life, he’d been a roadie for some of my favorite bands, like Disturbed, Jokers Wilder, and Slipknot, and the label said they’d worked with him before and he was a total pro.
That might have been, but I thought he was an ass who had no sense of humor.
He was about Braden’s height, with thinning chin-length brown hair that he usually pulled back into a ponytail and often bloodshot pale blue eyes.
He had a bit of a belly, hardly noticeable under t-shirts, and both his arms were covered in tattoo sleeves.
The guy was legit, but that didn’t mean we’d be friends.
I also tried not to be disappointed about the tour itself: it was only during the month of October, but we’d go all over the U.S. during that time—and for our fourth stop we’d be back in Denver, but that time, we’d be at The Ogden Theatre, a place we’d always dreamed about playing.
We were also touring with Last Five Seconds, a hardcore heavy metal band that was promoting their latest album.
Even though they were at least ten years older, we discovered during our short tour that they were decent guys, and they gave us a lot of tips about all things professional music.
Brian, their bassist, gave us the best advice the first night we met him. “They giving you guys a per diem?”
“Yeah,” Zack said.
“You got a fridge on your bus?”
“No, but there’s a cooler.”
“I know it’s tempting to fill it up with beer, but go to the grocery store.
” The four of us exchanged glances, because we couldn’t legally buy beer yet…
even though Zack and Braden had snuck in plenty of hard liquor and weed in their bags.
“Buy another cooler if you can and then get stuff you can microwave or eat out of a box, and if you like fruit, you can buy apples and oranges, and they’ll last a while.
It’s not glamorous, but it’ll stretch your money. ”
Cy said, “I was wondering about that. Even fast food would burn through the daily cash with nothing to spare.”
“Exactly,” Brian said, nodding. “You could go to a deli and get a sandwich and chips and blow all your money—or you could buy all that stuff at the store and it would cover several meals for the same price.” Although he confessed that his band no longer made supermarket stops, that behavior had saved them a lot of money when they were first starting out.
We loved the idea and demanded we stop at a grocery store the next day.
Even though Mick bitched about it, he had the bus driver stop at an Albertson’s before we left San Diego.
We’d skipped breakfast that morning, planning to do what Brian suggested.
Mick was giving us a weekly per diem and we planned to spend all of it at the store.
Or at least most of it.
Our road crew, a group of five guys, stayed on the bus, uninterested in saving money. I just hoped that didn’t mean they’d eat the food we brought back.
As we left the bus, Mick growled. “Soundcheck’s at four. If you’re not back on the bus in fifteen minutes, we’re leaving your asses here.”
We snickered—but not until we were out of earshot. Braden said, “Good luck doing a soundcheck without the band.”
Zack nodded. “Yeah, but I believe the bastard would do it anyway.”
We all did—and so we shopped quickly, each of us leaving with almost more bags than we could carry. And I warned the guys about the roadies considering helping themselves to our food, but Zack simply said, “I dare them.”
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The first day on the bus was like magic.
Our first date was in Los Angeles, the home of our label and, as far as I was concerned, the entertainment capital of the nation.
I found it interesting that the tour started in L.A.
and ended in New York City—both cities considered entertainment capitals of opposite coasts.
Altogether, we had sixteen shows spread out over just shy of four weeks, and we had no idea what to expect.
But I did know that I wished it was longer. There would be so many states we wouldn’t be going to, so many fans we wouldn’t get to see.
Still, it was a start.
That first day, we spent the night in Flagstaff, about halfway to L.A.
Everyone, even me, had to share rooms, but Mick had asked before booking the hotels weeks earlier who I’d feel most comfortable rooming with.
Even though Zack had seen me naked before, I didn’t want to be that close to him, yearning for his touch when he was sleeping in a bed right next to me.
I chose Braden. Braden felt weird about it, but I told him I was most comfortable around him because I trusted him the most.
“Oh, you shouldn’t, Dani.”
His response shocked me. “You have never made me feel nervous or scared or worried, Bray. I know you.”