21. Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
Kaison
Things between my brother and I have not been good. He’s hardly spoken to me—or anyone—since his confession. His confession that he didn’t elaborate on. It’s got my head fucking spinning at all hours of the day. I mean, how the fuck you going to say something like “he did things to me” and then not explain? Did things how ? Did what ? I mean, I’m sure I know, and I’ll tell you, I don’t want to fucking think about it because the anger I feel is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
I fear Kolton thought I would stick up for our dad because I always had so much respect for him, but not a single ounce of me will do that. Fuck that. My brother isn’t a goddamn liar, and if he says our dad fucked with him, I believe him—no questions asked. If my father weren’t dead, I’d kill him myself after finding this shit out .
I want to tell Kolt that. I should tell him that. But every time I get near him, he walks away. There are so many things I need to talk to him about. Not just about our dad, but everything else he said, too. I want to make him feel better, feel okay about himself and who he is.
Kolt is smart as hell. He can’t really think our dad made him gay, can he? I mean, even I know shit doesn’t work that way. If Kolt is gay, that’s just how he’s supposed to be. But I guess that explains why he’s been so weird around chicks lately. Simple reasoning there.
“Okay, so Noah is looking at becoming the prospect, we all good with that?” Coyote asks, looking around the room.
There is a round of yeses. He’s been amazing at the diner and will handle a lot of shit over there. He’s got the books straight, figured out the schedule, and ordered some updated appliances.
Coyote nods. “Shark, you can handle that. Talk to him, let him know what’s up, what’s expected. Deal with his father, too, cause that’s going to be a shit show.”
“Will do,” I say.
I drown out the rest of Church and feel like shit about it. If there’s ever a time to pay attention, now’s it, but I’m a fucking mess. I keep sneaking glances at my brother, who looks exactly the same as he usually does, but different. So fucking different now that I know the darkness that’s within him. Makes me feel like shit. How the fuck is it that my father treated me so well and did things to him? Makes me fucking sick, and I should ride over to the cemetery and spit on his goddamn grave. Every bit of anything that fucker has in this place has got to go. This club doesn’t stand for that—any of it. We may do some fucked up shit, dabble in illegal trading, but under no circumstances do we ra—fuck, I can’t even say the word because all I can think about is my little brother’s face, full of fear, terror. How he always kept it together when we were younger and had all this shit going on. How the fuck did I not see it? I get why he’s so mad at me. I should have fucking seen it. Maybe if I wasn’t so far up our father’s ass, I would have. Kolton is so much stronger than I ever thought he was.
When Church is done, I make my way over to Kolton before he can get away from me.
“We need to talk.”
“No, we don’t,” he says, shoving his cell into his pocket and snapping shut his laptop.
“Yeah, we fucking do. And we can do it here and now or you can deal with me following your ass around until we do, and I know you don’t want me in your house, Snapper.”
He flinches at that, gritting his teeth.
“Fine,” he growls, pushing past me.
I blow out a breath and follow him.
All the guys head over to the bar, so my brother and I make our way outside to the back, where there’s nothing but overgrown weeds in a dirt parking lot that once used to be for community events. Not sure why our fathers stopped having them here, but probably because some of the townsfolk didn’t wanna set foot over here, so now we do it at the park instead. Still, we should clean this up and use it. If town people don’t wanna come, fuck them. They don’t have to.
“We should use this place like we used to,” I say thoughtfully, looking around at the big empty space. We could do so much with it.
“If we’re going to talk about this, talk about it. I don’t have time for bullshit.”
I stare at my brother, knowing he’s lashing out because he’s angry. It’s okay.
“Just listen to what I have to say before you jump down my throat?” He nods stiffly. “I hope you know that I had no idea about any of that shit. Never saw nothing, never heard nothing. If I had, trust me when I say, I’d have fucking killed him. If you need me to be your punching bag, I will be your punching bag. You are my brother, I love you, and I will do any fucking thing you need me to.”
My brother doesn’t react, just stands there frozen like a statue, staring at the ground like he’s angry at the world. I don’t blame him if he is. How the fuck do things like this happen?
“Also, about what you said about being gay? That ain’t because of dad, regardless of what he did to you. Actually, fuck that. I ain’t calling him that no more. That piece of shit doesn’t even deserve a name.”
Kolt looks up at me, but I still don’t get a reaction.
“You’re my brother, Kolt, and I love the shit outta you. I know we don’t get along, and I’m sorry I didn’t pay closer attention, but no matter what, you’re my brother. In the club and out of the club. We’re all we have. And if you’re upset about your sexuality, well, I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, but I don’t give a fuck. No one else will either. And if they do, they can eat my fucking boot.”
He huffs out a laugh at that, and I smile.
“Are you struggling with it?” I ask carefully.
“In some ways,” he answers with a small shrug.
“What ways?”
He sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking up at the sky.
“In the way that people are going to stare because it’s new. In the way that it’s going to be weird for some because it’s not what they’re used to. In the way that bringing guys around here like they have the clubwhores won’t happen. Even if they accept it, it’s different and not the norm, and I don’t like that shit.”
I nod as he speaks, letting him know I’m listening.
“I understand that, but honestly, I think you may be worrying about it more than anyone else would. Don’t think anyone would care if you brought a guy around, Kolt. They’re drunk half the time anyway, and I’m pretty sure Rhino has fucked a dude or two.”
I get another chuckle from him and consider that a win. I want to ask if he’s already been fucking guys, but we aren’t there yet. Besides, the way he’s talking about it? I think he has.
“Look, I’m not saying you need to rail someone in the ass—” I narrow my eyes at him, looking him over. “Am I wrong to assume you do the fucking?” He scoffs, and I laugh. “Anyway, not that you need to do it in front of anyone, but if you wanted to, don’t think it would be a problem. You know we ain’t like that. But also, if you never wanna tell anyone, that’s cool too. I’m your brother, and you need to trust me a little more.”
He nods. “I know.”
“I—”
Loud pops echo around us, and I immediately know what the fuck that is.
Gunshots.
Kolt and I bolt to the clubhouse, in through the back door, where we grab our pieces that we taped inside the cabinet, then go for the front door. More pops sound, shouting and banging.
I look out the window and see Bullseye on the ground, pressing his hands to his leg that’s pouring blood. There are bikes along the road belonging to those Iron pricks. I yank open the door and start shooting, my brother right behind me.
Right off the bat, he gets two guys in the head. He should’ve been a fucking sniper, his aim is so goddamn good. I get a guy in the stomach, and he falls down, turning his gun on me, so I shoot him again until his arm drops to the ground. Kolt and I run toward the bar, ducking behind the rusted cars that have been sitting here for god knows how long.
“They just showed up,” Grizz says. “And they ain’t leaving without bleeding.”
“Goddamn right,” I say.
“How many?” Kolt asks.
“Saw ten, shot two,” Grizz answers .
“Killed two,” Kolt adds.
“Shot one.”
“So we got a few left to go.” Grizz grins, moving around the car and walking out with both hands raised, a pistol in each. He fires them off like some badass in a western movie and I move right after him, shooting every Iron prick I see that’s still moving.
I feel more guys coming behind us, hear their guns and heavy boots in the dirt. We walk out like we’re fucking invincible. Bullseye is being dragged into the house by Tank, Ghost covering them with an automatic weapon I didn’t know we had. We don’t keep that shit here, but he must’ve had it hidden well. Wouldn’t be surprised if the fucker walked around with it, strapped under his shirt or something. Guy may be crazier than my brother.
I’m feeling good about this. Confident. These pricks are dropping one by one, and the more we kill, the less we have to worry about. Their club ain’t much bigger than ours, but I’ll tell you, they fucked with the wrong ones. They thought they were going to come in here and take over our territory to get to the border, and they thought wrong.
The shooting slows, the firing coming to a stop as dust settles. All I see standing are our guys. This is going to be one hell of a mess to clean up, but this will be a job for a clean-up crew that Coyote will call in. A guy or two we can handle, but this many? Best it’s left to the professionals .
I lower my gun, which is a fucking mistake. The second my hand is at my side, a searing pain burns through shoulder, and I’m jolted back. I fall to my ass, the burning getting worse. So fucking bad I can’t see. I can hardly hear anything. Faintly there are more pops, people shouting my name, but fuck if I know who it is.
“Shark! Hold on, bro,” I hear someone say. “Someone help me!”
I’m dragged across the parking lot, dirt and rocks scraping against my back and ass until I’m inside and on something soft. Only guy bigger than me is Grizz, so I know it wasn’t easy to drag my ass inside.
Another searing pain shoots right through me when pressure is applied to my shoulder, right where it hurt before. Pretty sure I was shot, now that I think about it. Maybe I’m dying. Probably not, if it’s just my shoulder, but fuck, what did they shoot me with? A fucking fire ball? Goddamn poison bullets?
“Someone pull the truck around!”
“Yeah, I got it.”
“Hold pressure, or he’ll bleed out. That’s a big fucking hole.”
Great. Was it a bazooka?
“Just breathe, Shark. We’re gonna get you to the hospital.”
Hospital sounds nice. Soft bed. Lots of meds. Pain meds are good. Real fucking good. I open my eyes but slam them shut when the light stings. Behind my eyelids all I see is Cora’s face, wishing I’d seen more of her lately. I know we’ve got a lot of shit going on, but damn, do I miss her. Want her. Need her .
I need to try harder to get her. Need to not give up. This girl has to be mine.
Couple hours later, I’m stitched up and feeling great on whatever meds they gave me. Doctor says I’m good to go home, so someone gets me there. Don’t know who. My bed is soft, warm. Someone is here, walking around. I hear their boots stomping on my hardwood. Don’t know who it is, but hopefully it’s one of the guys and not an Iron prick here to finish me off.
I move in and out of sleep, until finally the sun is shining, and I open my eyes. It’s bright as shit, my body hurts, especially my shoulder. It’s all patched up with some gauze, and I bet it looks nasty as fuck. I recall someone saying something about through and through, which is good, but it means I’ve got holes on both sides that have been closed up. Whatever. Cool scar, I guess. At least I’m alive.
I get up, unsteady on my feet as I walk out of my room. My brother’s boots are by the door, and I remember there was someone here. Must be him. I go to the kitchen to grab some water and see a bottle of pills by the sink. I snatch them up, realize they’re for me, and take what it says, downing a glass of water with them. Then I go looking for my brother. I have the awful feeling I know where he is, and it only makes me sick .
I head for the stairs and go up, which takes more energy than I’d like to admit. I hardly go up here at all anymore. Kolt’s room and that piece of shit’s room were up here. Mine was downstairs, same one I have now. Never thought to question that, but now I’m wondering…
How many nights did our father fuck with my brother while I was sound asleep downstairs? I gotta get out of this house. Burn it to the fucking ground.
I find Kolt in his old room, sitting on his bed and staring out the window.
He looks over at the sound of me coming, because let’s face it, there’s no way I’m being quiet. Between my heavy footsteps and my grunting from being in pain, there’s no hiding me.
“You’re awake.”
“And in fucking pain,” I answer. “Why are you in here?”
I step into the room, but don’t go too far. It all feels so fucking weird now that I know what happened… probably in this exact room.
“Just thinking.” Kolt gets up, wiping his hands on his jean-covered thighs, then turns to me. “Take your meds?”
“Yep.”
He walks up to me, inspecting my shoulder. Guy would’ve made a fantastic doctor. Hell, he’d have been a good anything.
He meets my gaze. “Let’s not make anything weird, okay? I shouldn’t have taken this shit out on you. I know it wasn’t your fault, but I’m angry. I’m dealing with it in my own way, and—”
“A way that isn’t working, if you’re mad at me after all this time.”
“Since I told you, I’ve reworked a few things in my head. I have some ideas. Trust me, Kaison, I’m working on it. Don’t make this a thing. I don’t need your pity or your sympathy. I just want my brother.”
I nod. “You got me.”
“I’m heading home to shower and change. Call if you need anything. Otherwise, stay in bed and get some rest.” His words are flat. He sounds tired.
Wouldn’t be surprised if he stayed up all night in here, thinking and figuring shit out. He’s always been the type to spend more time in his head than out here with the rest of us. That’s just my brother. Pushing him only pushes him away, so I have to let him come to me. I’ll watch from afar, see how he’s doing, and go from there. If I see he’s retreating more, I’ll say something. If he’s doing fine, I’ll let him be. I hate feeling helpless, but what else am I going to do? I don’t want to risk pushing him away and having him fly off the deep end. He said he doesn’t want my pity, and I won’t give it to him, but I will tread more carefully. I’ll watch where I step. Nothing wrong with that.
Heading back downstairs, I go for my phone, noting it’s only eight in the morning. I send a text to Cora.
Me: Before you hear it from anyone else, I wanted to let you know some shit went down with the club. I’m fine, but I was shot .
It’s barely a second after I send the text that my phone rings. I smile when I see Cora’s name.
“Hey,” I answer.
“Are you okay? How are you feeling?”
“In pain. Tired. Meds should be kicking in soon.”
I drop onto the couch to get comfortable.
“Do you want me to bring you anything? I can bring some food?”
“Food would be great.”
“After your brother called me last night, I’ve been—”
“Kolt called you?”
There’s a long pause.
“Yeah, he didn’t tell you?”
“Nah, he didn’t.”
“He called to tell me what happened last night. Wanted to make sure I knew you were okay.”
I smile, huffing out a laugh. Okay, so he’s already doing better. That’s good.
“I’m sorry you’ve been worrying. How’s your father? How are you?”
She sighs. “Just tired, as usual. Dad is good. He’s had a few good days.”
“I’m happy to hear it.”
Clanking of the kitchen sounds and I realize she’s at work. Totally forgot about that.
“I can run out after the breakfast rush and bring you some food. ”
“Can’t wait to see you.”
I swear I hear her smile.
“Get some rest, Kaison. See you soon.”
When the call ends, I put my phone down and rest back. I doze off, knowing she’ll knock when she gets here, and wake me up.