Chapter 3
“Up! Let’s go, let’s go!”
Sergeant Rourke’s voice cuts through the darkness like a combat knife.
He yanks open the tent flap, letting in a blast of morning air.
“Land nav briefing in five minutes! Boots on! Full gear! Move your asses!” He’s gone as fast as he came, leaving the six of us groaning and clawing our way out of our sleeping bags.
My eyes feel full of sand. I barely slept.
My shorts are crusty and stiff with dried cum.
I feel disgusting. Filthy. I pull them off quickly, balling them up and shoving them deep into the bottom of my pack before anyone can see.
Grabbing a clean pair, I dress in a flurry of motion, trying to force the sleep and the shame out of my body.
As we scramble to get ready in the dim red glow of the tent, I scan the others, looking for any hint of who was awake last night.
They all look the same. Tired, groggy, annoyed.
Buck is already lacing his boots. Diego is yawning and scratching his ass.
Emilio gives me a tired smile. None of them act any differently.
They all look like soldiers getting ready for a long day of training.
Outside, the sky’s just starting to lighten, pale gray instead of full dark. Rourke stands with his arms crossed next to a folding table. Maps and compasses are laid out in neat rows, three sets total. He looks like he’s been awake for hours. Probably has been.
“Land navigation exercise,” Rourke says without preamble as we form a semicircle around him.
“Objective: locate all five checkpoints on this map.” He taps the map with a pen.
“You will do this in two-man teams. Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie. No GPS. Just your map, your compass, and your brain. First team to hit all five points and return to this location wins. Winners get steaks for dinner tonight. Losers get an extra two hours of drills. Questions?”
None of us is stupid enough to ask one.
“Teams are as follows,” Rourke continues. “Alpha Team: Kade and Yassir. Bravo Team: Diego and Adrian. Charlie Team: Emilio and Buck.” He points at us as he says our names, assigning us our fate. “Your clock starts… now.”
The six of us rush for our gear. I grab a map and a compass, and Diego claps me on the shoulder, a little too hard. “Me and you, hermano. We’re gonna smoke these guys.”
I hope my smile looks convincing. “No doubt about it.”
But inside, my stomach is a tight knot. I’d rather be paired with Emilio. Or Yassir. Maybe even Kade. Anyone but Diego. He’s so in-your-face, so loud, always joking around. I don’t know if I can keep up the act with him out in the woods all day long.
Kade and Yassir head out first, moving into the trees to the west. Buck and Emilio go south. Diego and I study our coordinates, plot the first point, and head northeast.
Two checkpoints down. The sun’s climbing fast now, burning off the early morning cool. My shirt’s already soaked with sweat, sticking to my back. Diego’s navigating, holding the compass in front of him like a talisman, his brow furrowed in concentration.
“Next one is… that way,” he says, pointing toward a thick wall of green. “About two klicks. Seems to be uphill, though.”
We found the first two markers faster than I expected—small wooden stakes driven into the ground with a hole punch attached by a chain. Punch the card, move on.
The woods are quiet except for our boots crunching through the underbrush and Diego’s occasional commentary. “Gonna be nice to have a real meal tonight, huh? I’m fucking sick of these MREs. Taste like rubber.”
“Tell me about it,” I say, swatting at a mosquito on my neck.
“The only thing better than a steak would be getting my dick wet. Man, I can’t stop thinking about that shit. It’s like a damn curse.” He adjusts his pack, shifting the weight on his shoulders. “You ever do anything crazy for a girl, Adrian?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like stupid shit. Drive a hundred miles just to see her for an hour. Spend your whole paycheck on some dumb necklace she wanted. That kind of thing.”
“Sure. Guess so.”
“I remember this one chick,” he says, grinning.
“Maria. Had an ass like you wouldn’t believe.
Drove three hours across the island one night just to see her.
Three hours back the same night. Had to work at seven the next morning.
I was dead on my feet, but man, it was worth it.
She let me hit it in the back of my car.
Right there in the parking lot of her apartment complex. ” He winks. “Good times.”
I laugh sheepishly, not knowing what to say. I don’t really have stories like that. I’ve had sex, sure, but it never felt like some epic quest. It was always just there. Something to do on a Saturday night. Not something I’d drive six hours in a night for.
“What about you?” Diego asks. “You got a girl back home?”
“Nah,” I say. “Not at the moment.”
“That’s smart, man. Don’t get tied down. We’re young, we’re in the Army. Pussy’s everywhere. No point in getting shackled to just one flavor, you know? Variety’s the spice of life.” He laughs. “And I want to taste all the spices.”
“Can’t argue with that logic.”
“You’re a quiet one, aren’t you?” he says, glancing over at me. “I mean, you talk and shit, but you keep everything close. We’ve been out here three weeks now, and I don’t know jack about you.”
My throat goes dry. Does he know? Can he see it on me? See the things I think about?
“Just focusing on the mission, man.”
“Yeah, I get that. But we’re a team, mano. A squad. We gotta be able to trust each other with our lives. That means we gotta know each other. You know?”
He’s right. Of course, he’s right. I know it. The Army drills it into you from day one. The guy next to you is your lifeline. But I can’t open up. I can’t let him see the real me because I’m scared of what that would mean.
I scramble for something to say, some story or opinion that’ll make me sound normal. I think of last night, of what I heard. Maybe if I joke about it, it’ll prove I’m one of the guys.
“Speaking of keeping things close,” I say, my heart pounding, “someone was having a little party in their sleeping bag last night.”
Diego stops walking. He turns to face me, his dark eyebrows raised. “Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah. I was half asleep, but I heard it.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. Thought it was you, honestly.” I say it with a laugh, trying to make it sound like a friendly jab, even though I’m screaming inside.
He lets out a short, barking laugh. “Nah, man. I was out cold. Passed out the second I lay down.” He scratches the back of his neck. “Shit. Someone got ballsy.”
“Can you imagine if Rourke had heard?”
“Fuck, he’d have them doing push-ups till their arms fell off.” He shakes his head, a grin spreading across his face. “Man, good for him, though. Whoever it was. At least one of us got some relief.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m serious, bro. Twenty-three days and counting. My balls feel like they’re gonna explode.” He adjusts himself through his pants, and I have to force myself to look away. “I’m tempted to do the same, man.” He gives me a sly look. “Find a tree, you know? Quick little session.”
I swallow. “What, right here? Now?”
“Why not? We’re alone. No one’s around for miles. We could take five, rub one out real quick.” He shrugs. “We’re probably way ahead of the other teams anyway. Got some time to kill.”
I don’t know about that, but I don’t say so. My hands feel clammy. What’s the right reaction here? If I say yes too quickly, will that give me away? Make me seem too eager? But if I say no, I’m the uptight prude, which is also not what I want to be.
“Man, I don’t know,” I say. “Rourke would kill us if he found out.”
“He’s not gonna find out. No GPS, remember? He’s got no idea where we are. Look,” he says, gesturing around us. “It’s just trees, as far as the eye can see. We both need this, mano. You said yourself yesterday that you could use some release.”
I open my mouth to come up with another excuse, but he’s already loosening his rigger belt, that olive-green nylon webbing. The sound of the buckle unfastening is shockingly loud in the quiet woods. He pops the buttons on his pants one by one, not turning away from me, not hiding anything.
Then his cock is out.