Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
Idrag my fingers across my lips, wishing it were his brutal touch.
All I can think about is the way Mackie tasted and how he moaned my name.
I barely slept after I took him home, and even after I came four times just from playing with him, I’m still needy as hell.
I’ve been trying to edit photos all day and I’ve been failing.
The screen is blank now, and I can’t see anything but him.
I thought I’d feel guilty, and maybe there was a shred of that, but moreover, there was this intense need to feel more.
I’ve been numb since my husband passed, and he’s bringing me back to life. I don’t even care if I’ll get hurt. I’d take it all from him just to feel something, anything, again.
My eyes catch on the picture of my husband, and I swallow that last shred of guilt.
He’s been gone a long time. He’d want me to be happy.
That doesn’t make it easier, and I’ll always have an edge of self-loathing for what I’m doing, but my need and growing fondness for Mackie are starting to outweigh that.
I’d been holding myself back, walking the last line of restrain out of concern over what he thought about my husband, but he didn’t seem to mind.
I know he’s curious, but it hasn’t driven him away, and that apparently unleashed the flood inside me.
I’m still worried about how he’ll react when he knows the full truth and how he was involved, but that disappears every time I see his face.
He appears in my office, smiling softly as if he’s unsure if he’s welcome, but he’s hoping he is, and my heart starts to beat again.
I’ve only ever been with one man before, and I loved him.
I married him, and then I lost him, and ever since, I have been alone, barely existing, and then Mackie came into my life and I feel hope, desire, and worry again.
My heart is a cacophony of emotions, and I don’t want Mackie to take it away. Pushing up from my desk, guided by desperation, I stride across my office.
“Hey, sorry I showed up out of the blue. I knew you were working late, and everyone went home, so I thought we could eat while you work—” His words end in a gasp as I crash into him.
I slide my hand into his hair like it’s something I’ve done a thousand times, tilting his head for me as I press my lips to his in a scorching kiss.
He stumbles back into my door with a gasp, gripping my sides as I deepen the kiss and sweep my tongue into his mouth.
“Conan.” He turns his head to breathe, but I can’t move away.
I taste the soft skin of his cheek and down his neck, reveling in the unique taste that is all him.
Mackie groans, his hands fisting the sides of my shirt.
I expect him to push me away, but if anything, he tugs me closer, and when he turns forward, his eyes are open and filled with fire.
“Don’t stop,” he begs before he presses his lips to mine.
Our kiss turns feral, our tongues battling and hands wandering as we both give over to the desire we have tried so hard to control. I don’t want to ruin anything between us, but I can’t stop.
We don’t break apart as we turn, stumbling until my back hits the couch, and I sink into it. Mackie follows me down, straddling me. Our kiss is wild and uncontained, and I swallow his moans as I slide my hands down to squeeze his ass and guide him down my knees until he’s pressed against me.
“God, baby boy.” I nip his chin before sucking on his full bottom lip.
“You taste so fucking good. It’s all I could think about tonight.
I did everything to hold back and take this slower.
I made myself come so many times so when I saw you again, I could have control, but I’m right back here, needing you so much it hurts.
You drive me crazy,” I say against his skin before kissing him and pulling back.
I lean into him, my hands wandering over every inch of him as we pant.
“Your daddy needs you so much. Tell me no and push me away. Have more control than I do. Fuck, Mack, tell me to stop.”
He moans at the joking nickname we made. It just slipped out, but I don’t take it back, and he turns his head, kissing me harder.
When I lean back, needing to breathe, his lips glide over my cheek to my ear.
“Why would I tell you to stop when I want the same thing?” His voice is dark and breathless and goes straight to my rock-hard cock.
He grinds on it, the pressure driving me insane.
I could come just from him whispering in my ear as he does that, but he has other ideas as he rises and slides from my lap.
My brows tighten as I sit up, reaching for him before I realize what he’s doing.
“Mackie—” My voice is shaky as he sinks to his knees between my thighs, his eyes glistening with want, and that’s my undoing.
“I want to taste you too. You say I drive you crazy, but it’s the other way around.
I need this.” Sliding his palms up my thighs, he reaches my belt and unbuckles it before arching a brow as he licks his raw lips.
“Tell me no if you don’t want this. Tell me it’s too soon or that it will mess everything up.
If you have any reservations, tell me right now. ”
All my worries flee, leaving nothing but desire.
He might regret this tomorrow, but I can handle that. What I can’t handle is how much I want him.
“I’ve never wanted something more.” It’s the truth. “Taste me, touch me, bring me back to life.”
His smirk is almost cruel as he undoes the button on my pants and parts them to expose my boxers.
Mackie drags them down, and I help him, lifting my hips.
When they pool around one leg, he runs his hands up my thighs, watching his movements as he reaches my boxers and tugs them down, freeing my length.
His eyes widen as he stares at my dick before they rise to mine.
This time, it’s my turn to smirk as I reach down and stroke his hair.
“I’m big, baby boy, but you can take it,” I assure him as I lean down and kiss him before pressing my lips to his ear.
“And when you do, it will feel so good.” I bite his earlobe, and he shivers against me before pushing me back.
My smile disappears as he grips my length, tightening his hold to the point of pain.
“You’re the one who will feel good,” he purrs wickedly as he leans down and licks the tip of my cock. My back bows, and I thrust into his hand for more. Chuckling, he pulls away, and my eyes narrow.
“Mack,” I warn.
Blinking innocently at me, he smiles. “Yes, Daddy?” My dick throbs in his grip. “Like that, do you?” Leaning down, he blows warm air over my cock. “You like when I call you Daddy?” he murmurs. “Want me to moan it while you come down my throat?”
“Fuck.” I pant as I cover my eyes with my hand, trying to control my visceral reaction. It’s totally fucked up, but when he says it, I can’t control my response. It started as a joke, but it couldn’t be further from amusing right now, especially when he sucks the tip of my cock.
“Daddy,” he growls before licking down my length. “Do you like the way it sounds? I bet you’ll love it if I scream it when you’re deep inside me.”
My cock pulses in his grip, and he chuckles. “Eyes on me, Conan,” he orders, and I drop my arm. He’s in total control here, and he knows it. “You’ll look at me while I taste you. I want your eyes on me at all times. I want you to remember this.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at my office the same again,” I admit breathlessly as I slide my hand deeper into his hair and hang on as he bends down and sucks my dick all the way down his throat despite my size.
I’m bigger than most, so I expected him to be intimidated, but he swallows me like he’s ready to choke.
I can’t look away. My chest heaves and my arm shakes as I tighten my hold on his hair as lust and pleasure explode through me. His perfect lips part as he slides his mouth up and down my length in a teasing rhythm that causes an embarrassing moan to escape my mouth.
His eyes twinkle with amusement when he hears it, and I can’t take any more. Gripping his hair tighter, I force myself down his throat then tug him off, guiding him. His eyes widen for a moment before he moans, shuffles closer, and swallows me.
“Good boy, like that. Swallow Daddy,” I tell him. “Fuck, baby, you look so good on your knees.”
The praise makes him suck harder as he takes over, bobbing up and down on my cock as he reaches down and slides his fingers over my balls, making me hiss.
How many times was I like this with my husband?
Mackie looks nothing like him, and I can only see Mackie as he lowers his head.
His hands anchor me to reality, and I realize I barely remember my life before him now.
Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t want to think of anyone else when I’m with him. I want this with Mackie. I want him.
Pleasure consumes me, and my balls tighten. I’m so close already. It’s been too long, and he feels too good. I want this to last forever, though, so I try to slow down, but he doesn’t let me. He sucks me deeper until his eyes water, and the sight and sound are my undoing.
“Mack.” His name is a hopeful gasp on my lips, and his eyes meet mine once more. “I’ve never wanted something more,” I admit. “I don’t care what happens after, just give me this, give me you for one night. My time with you is the only time I feel whole.”
Something floats into his gaze, something too quick to name, but I swear it’s guilt before he smiles at me and slides me all the way to the back of his throat.
He squeezes my balls, and I can’t stop the tidal wave of ecstasy that shatters me.
Crying out, I shove my cock down his throat until he gags.
My eyes are half-lidded as I reach down and massage his throat.
“Swallow all of me. Swallow every drop of Daddy’s cum,” I order, my voice thick and hoarse.
His whimper makes me groan as he sucks every drop of cum from me. When there is no more left and I’m spent, I pull out of his mouth, but he moans and holds on until I tug his head back and free myself.
“Greedy boy.”
His pink tongue darts out, catching a drop of cum on his lips as he looks at me with pleased eyes.
Leaning up onto his knees, he grips my chin and drags me down, kissing me so I taste myself. “Next time you’re worried or thinking about me, remember the way you taste on my lips when you let me have my way.”
Slumping back, I stare at him in shock. I was numb before he came along, and I don’t think I can go back to that now.
I need him to make me feel alive.
I need him to make me feel something, anything, for the rest of my life.
No matter why I came into his life or my own past and guilt, I’m never letting Mackie go, and I’m going to prove that.
I yank him down until we’re spooning on my couch. He sighs happily and presses closer so our foreheads touch, his eyes on mine as I slide my hand into his back pocket and tug him closer. He throws his leg over mine.
“Can we stay like this for tonight? Just let me hold you,” I murmur.
He nods quietly. Something forms in his eyes again, but he closes them, and I wonder if Mackie is haunted by ghosts just like I ma.
We are holding each other, but I swear I feel the ghost of my husband behind me. Who does he feel?