18. Chapter Eighteen #2
He stayed in the garden for a long while before Robert retrieved him.
Breakfast was ready and they would eat together.
William dreaded seeing Matilda after, no doubt, a tough conversation.
He tried to ignore her sniffles throughout breakfast, trying not to focus on how red her eyes had become from tears.
They did as Robert suggested and spent the day together, acting like nothing was changing.
William and Matilda worked on a knitting project in the library for a while.
Little was said, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign.
He merely did his best to comfort his mother throughout the day.
She hadn’t mentioned him staying. By the evening, she kissed him goodnight when saying, “Be careful.”
“I’ll be home as soon as I can. I promise,” he swore.
That did little good. Matilda whimpered and hurried to her room for a night of unrest. William wouldn’t have slept even if he tried.
He spent the night ensuring he had enough supplies packed, including food, water, herbs, and rolls of cannabis.
He hoped he wouldn’t have to use them, but considering what they were doing and where they were going, that hope meant nothing.
The supplies sat in the foyer while he went to his room, where he tossed and turned during the remaining twilight.
Then the sun rose, and he went downstairs.
He double checked his belongings, including the worn satchel he hadn’t planned to use again.
That satchel saved many lives throughout the war.
Days after he woke in the hospital, he had the energy to look through his belongings.
The satchel laid there, bloodied among his worn clothes.
He never had the heart to toss it because, as many poor memories that it carried, there were good ones, too.
Times when he made it in time to spare a life, saw them walking around camp a week later as if nothing happened.
The satchel became one of the few things from the war that he didn’t mind carrying.
However, deep down, he didn’t believe the bag would be of any help.
Shadowed disciples took his patients, and certainly not for good reason.
They would probably bring home corpses, but he swung the bag over his shoulder, anyway.
He gave the stairs one last look, relieved that no one was there. If Matilda saw him leaving, she may try to stop him, so he left quietly.
Outside, Marshall had the horse and carriage ready.
He also told William to be careful before heading inside.
At the end of the road, two figures appeared.
Nicholas and Evera didn’t have packs with them.
He should have expected as such but still snorted.
They’d be nagging him for snacks and drinks later.
As he loaded the few supplies they could carry, Nicholas came up behind him to kiss his neck. “I missed you.”
“Is that truly the first thing you have to say to me today?” he asked.
“It is because it is true. I dislike spending even a minute away from you.” Nicholas hopped onto the driver’s bench. Evera sat on the roof, letting her legs hang over the side. Nicholas offered his hand, smiling. “Let our adventure begin.”
“This is hardly an adventure,” he replied, but took Nicholas’ hand.
The fae tugged him onto the bench, where William grabbed the reins.
The carriage traveled through the waking streets of Alogan, where people waddled to their workshops and bakeries.
Charmaine waited outside The Gilded Lily in a pair of pants and traveling boots, neither of which he had seen on her for the last two years.
Yawning, she offered a half hearted good morning prior to crawling into the carriage. Shockingly, Evera followed.
Nicholas knocked William’s hands aside to take the reins. “I’ll take it from here.”
“Where are we headed exactly?” he asked.
“Outside the city. We should reach the scar before the sun sets.”
“What will it be like going through the shimmer?” he asked.
“Like swimming through water,” Nicholas replied. “You must be careful not to go downstream.”
“What does that mean?”
“You can get lost. Even if you feel a tug, do not follow it. Actually,” Nicholas glanced behind them toward the carriage. “It would be best if we go through hand in hand, so no one gets lost.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. He never heard of anyone getting lost. Then again, he didn’t know many who passed through shimmers.
Nicholas’ driving skills were questionable.
The horse sped up and slowed at random intervals, typically due to him being distracted by their surroundings.
He hadn’t left Alogan since his arrival, so being outside the city intrigued him.
He kept asking what languages the trees spoke, then got disappointed upon realizing they couldn’t talk.
They traversed back roads so rocky the carriage swayed. If William had eaten more than a roll for breakfast, he would have gotten ill. Instead, he clung painfully to the bench and willed his brain not to spill out his ears.
Nicholas jerked the reins. Someone in the carriage shrieked.
He would have fallen off if Nicholas weren’t beside him.
A wild laugh escaped the fae when they went off the road, flying between trees and brush.
Charmaine threatened to get sick from Nicholas’ careless driving.
That encouraged the fae to make it worse, ripping through the trees to make the carriage wheels shriek with every turn.
The carriage didn’t slow until almost noon.
They came to an abrupt halt that nearly sent William off the bench.
“Here we are!” Nicholas jumped down and pushed aside a bush to reveal the shimmer, little more than a thin line of blue light between the trees. One would struggle to find it if they didn’t know its exact location.
“Finally.” Charmaine dropped out of the carriage to kiss the ground. “He is never driving again.”
Pouting, Nicholas argued, “I got us here unharmed.”
“My stomach is harmed.”
Nicholas glanced at William to save him, which he would not do. “You are a reckless driver,” he said.
Nicholas clicked his tongue. “I’m underappreciated.”
“Aren’t we all?” Henry asked, causing William and Charmaine to curse. Evera and Nicholas didn’t look surprised.
He thought he hallucinated his brother riding up behind them. He waited for the inevitable change, the melting of reality, colors fading to black and Fearworn clawing out of the shadows. But nothing happened save Henry closing in. A bag hung over his horse’s rump.
Henry descended, clutching a stuffed satchel against his side.
He wore a dark gray cloak, hood up, and a pair of slightly worn boots.
William reached out, that time hoping his mind to be playing tricks, that his hand would pass through Henry’s mirage.
Instead, his fingers landed upon Henry’s arm, firm and real.
His expression hardened to stone. “Why are you here?”
“Because I’m coming with you.” Henry retrieved the supplies from his horse to swing the pack over his shoulder.
“Absolutely not.” He laughed coldly. “You are heading home. Now.” Henry made no move to obey. Snarling, William ran a hand through his hair. “How did you follow us?”
Henry retrieved a crystal from his pocket, the one he told William to carry. “I said I could find you anywhere with this.”
“In the case of an emergency. Not to join us!” He turned his attention to Nicholas. “Did you know he was following?”
Nicholas nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought he was coming with us,” he answered earnestly.
“I never said he was, and he isn’t joining us. You are staying here.” He grabbed the pack, but Henry held firm.
“William.” Henry settled his hands on his brother’s shoulders. He winced. Henry had his hand on silver. Even with clothes separating them, he couldn’t stand anyone touching that.
“You went to war on your own. I’m not letting you go through this without me,” said Henry.
“And I am not letting you go with me. I won’t risk your life. You can’t…” He caught his tongue between his teeth, tasting copper.
Henry couldn’t see the side of him created by war, which he would no doubt have to show while in search of the disciples.
Ever since his return, he struggled to maintain a careful performance, one as close to the son and brother they lost as possible.
Not the monster he became. He didn’t want any of them to know what he truly went through, what he was not only willing but also more than capable of doing.
“I am going with you,” Henry said sternly. “You can either let me join you here or I’ll find you on my own. Your choice.”
Nicholas came from behind to speak against William’s ear. “Let him join us.”
He wanted to argue, but he caught Charmaine’s apologetic smile in his peripheral vision.
She wanted Henry along, or at least understood that they were stronger as a group.
He knew that, too. Another mage would be of great use, especially Henry, who had earned the attention of a magical society.
But they asked William to put his brother in danger after he fought so long to keep his family safe.
Henry’s hands fell, one to tighten around the strap of his pack and the other to lie upon his satchel. “If it makes you feel better, I won’t leave your sight.”
That did not ease him in any form. He and Charmaine now shared an affliction; sickness to the gut.
Bile rose in his throat. A childish urge said to chuck the crystal into the wilds.
But Henry said he would follow them, one way or the other.
William would rather his brother be at his side than wandering the wilds of Faerie alone.
“I will let you join on conditions,” he said. “If I say to run, you run, and if I tell you to return home without us, you will return home.”
Henry had an argumentative air about him, but he gave in with a sigh. “I accept your terms.”
“Alright.” He yanked the supplies from the carriage to pass off, then nodded at Nicholas. “Let’s go.”
Nicholas approached the shimmer. His presence caused the faded blue light to brighten, sensing a presence.
“Be warned, the first passing will feel strange, as if you’ve fallen into a river. Let it carry you. Don’t fight the flow. If you hear or see anything, ignore it. Keep your eyes ahead and move,” the shade explained.
Nicholas took William’s hand, interlocking their fingers. Henry had to take William’s hand, making his teeth grind. He didn’t want anyone touching his right hand, but there was nothing to be done. Henry also grabbed Charmaine, and she latched onto a grinning Evera.
Nicholas stepped forward, hand outstretched.
The shimmer expanded at the brush of his finger.
Like a snake feeding, the shimmer stretched, opening as it needed for the bodies passing through.
Nicholas disappeared within the now blinding light.
William was next to be consumed. He held his breath and tensed when he felt it; the submersion.
The strange sensation passed over him, warmth and water except he was bone dry.
The light dimmed and, in front of him, was Nicholas’ silhouette, nothing more.
There was no beginning or end, no up or down, left or right.
The group walked forward, or tried to, within an ocean of glistening blue, like a mirror’s reflection.
Emptiness below his feet made his steps sway.
Nicholas’ grip tightened, as did Henry’s.
His brother’s voice became warped, too high pitched, “Look…Will…panic.”
He couldn’t understand what they said. He focused on their connection, Henry and Nicholas’ hands. They didn’t feel right, too soft, too cold. He swore they were slipping away, fading through his fingers.
“William.” That voice was clear; Hugh. He stood among the blue, cheeks colored pink, eyes bright, his smile wide to show off his slightly crooked teeth that William always found charming. Hugh was unbelievably alive. He held out a calloused hand and smiled. “William.”
He’s not real, he told himself over and over. He focused on Nicholas’ hand, tried to think of how it truly felt, heated and smooth, like he didn’t know a day’s hard work. All the while, Hugh called over and over, a siren seeking prey.
Please end. Please end. Please end, he pleaded, finding the vastness of the space somehow constrictive, as if he were drowning.
Another figure formed, this one shorter, smaller, familiar long before William peered into his own eyes.
The young boy, not ruined by war, stood there brighter than a star.
He laughed. The sound tugged at William’s heartstrings because it sounded real, like him, like who he was meant to be.
His younger self held out his hand, didn’t even say a word, but William felt it; come here and you will become who you were meant to be.
That’s all he wanted, and the want moved him. He released Henry and reached. His younger self took his wrist before William could think better. The form held tight, then his sweet smile morphed into a sneer, and they fell into darkness.