19. Chapter Nineteen #2
“I’m not trying to take anything. It’s me, my wicked,” Nicholas said, unsure of what to do. He caught William by the waist to bring them into a sitting position. He buried his face in the crook of William’s neck, hiding his damned eyes.
“You can’t take my other arm,” William wheezed, clutching the arm already taken.
“I won’t,” he whispered. “I’m not here to take anything.”
William struggled a moment more, his breathing so labored Nicholas feared his heart would give out.
He didn’t know what to do when William broke into a sweat.
He shook so horribly that his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
Nicholas had witnessed nothing like it, fearful that he’d lose William to his own mind.
“Look at me,” he said desperately, reminded of that day on the field where William bled out. “Look at me. What do I do?”
He didn’t answer. He couldn’t, trembling in Nicholas’ desperate hold, breathing so labored his lips nearly went blue. Then he sank against Nicholas, where his heart rate slowly steadied. William laid his cheek against Nicholas’ and leaned into him entirely.
“We need to get out of here. There has to be a way out. We have to escape.” William gnawed at his bloody lip.
“First, you must calm down,” he warned.
“There is no calming down. Everything is a mess.” William bellowed, speaking as if possessed, “I survived, but I don’t feel like I did.
Some days, I wish I didn’t, and then I see those who died, people I killed, people I lost, like Hugh, who would have lived far happier than me and I wish we exchanged places. ”
His hold on William tightened, wishing he had never heard his wicked say such things.
“Shadowed disciples have my patients. Fearworn is involved. That rat bastard must ruin us even now. My patients are likely being used, tortured, or already dead and nobody fucking cares. Then there’s you.
” William sat up taller, retreating from Nicholas enough to gaze down at him.
He hesitated to meet William’s eyes, such a fierce sorrow he tasted the pain like decay.
“You show up and you’re different and it’s my fault.
You make me question everything. For two years, I was hurt and felt more alone than ever.
I never wanted to see you again, then I would have given anything to see you again.
I wanted to scream at you, then I wanted to hold you.
I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do.
I hate that I cannot help you, that I’m the cause of…
” William’s eyes flooded with tears he refused to shed.
“This has always been my fate, with or without you,” he said with a gentle caress against William’s cheek. “I am relieved my fate is tied to you. At least I will always have this part of my life, the love for you I had before and now.”
“Before? Nicholas, you’re…”
“Unwell, yes, but I would not have become like this if I did not love you before. It was that love that pushed me to the edge and I wish you would not blame yourself for it. You cannot fix what is broken in a day. The shadowed disciples, your patients, they will be dealt with. I will deal with them, if it will make you happy. We know what to do and we have a journey ahead of us, both of us. But right now,” he caught William by the chin and brushed his thumb against William’s bottom lip. “Let us get lost in one another.”
William released a sad laugh, but his hands fell upon Nicholas’ neck. “Is there ever anything else on your mind?”
“Not much.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I am ridiculously yours. Forever.” He had never spoken truer words. Being with William was indescribably known to him, as if he understood every aspect of the world, his world. “We belong together, and that is not my curse speaking. It is the truth. I know it.”
He hoped William did, too. William’s body became an extension of himself, undeniably right. Like this, he felt more alive than ever, more himself, even as the desire burned brighter than the dawn. He knew, even without this damned curse, he would react the same in William’s arms.
“Shall we head out then, if you are feeling up to it?” Nicholas asked.
“Not yet.”
They sat silent for a long moment, then William kissed him.
It was sad and desperate and wanting all in one, and still perfect, all of them and nothing else.
He could stay like this forever, savoring William’s feverish touch.
They kissed like it was their first time, like they were back in the cold wastes of the Deadlands, so overcome by the other they couldn’t resist temptation. He tasted the same too; pure revelry.
“I don’t want to make you worse,” William panted against his mouth.
“I never feel more like myself than when I am with you,” he replied earnestly.
“I wish I could make everything better for you. I want to save you.”
“Do not put such pressure on yourself,” he interrupted. “This is an unfortunate path I was laid on at birth. I much rather want you than anything else. In that way, you are saving me, my wicked.”
William held him, kissed him, ran his fingers through his hair and all felt right.
He dreamed of those moments, the weight of William, his touch, his taste, how he’d drive Nicholas to the brink of madness.
But when he caught the first button of William’s shirt, he flinched.
Nicholas brushed their foreheads together.
Their lips touched, gentle and sweet. He undid the first button. William clung to his shoulders.
“Why are you shaking?” Nicholas undid another button, relishing the sight of William’s pale shoulder.
“You know why.”
Silver glistened beneath William’s shirt, revealed more by his questing fingers descending to circle a pink nipple he yearned to devour.
If he could rip apart William’s flesh and burrow himself into his veins, then Nicholas wouldn’t hesitate to do so.
There, within William’s heart, he would nest for all eternity.
“Mortals may see this as a curse, perhaps you as well, but I do not. I will never. I shall worship every part of you.” Another button undone and another while his lips descended upon William’s chest. “I love you, my wicked. I shall adore you even when you do not.”
William’s shirt fell. Nicholas lavished him with attention, kissing along his chest to his nape.
William’s response was perfect, a pleasured moan caressing his ears like a spell.
Nicholas caught his lips, more addicted to the taste of William than ever.
He took hold of William’s wrists, departing to catch the leathered glove between his teeth.
William did nothing to stop the removal of his gloves. Nicholas kissed each silver knuckle and did the same for the other, never breaking eye contact. “Tell me to stop. Tell me if you don’t want this.”
William said nothing as he dragged his lips over William’s palm to his wrist. There, William’s heart raced on his lips.
He kissed and took the skin between his teeth, then further up to his bicep, then his shoulder.
Finally, he reached that delectable nape.
William lifted his head, letting Nicholas mark him more and more.
He tasted William’s sweat, salty and addictive and promising so much more.
“I want this, Nicholas,” William finally moaned, the sound reverberating against his tongue. “Touch me more.”
He yearned to map out William’s body to ensure nothing changed, and he could still make William a withered mess. He wished they had more time, more patience to enjoy each other, but their feverish want had them rushing to touch and kiss and grind.
William’s mouth fell on his neck to mark his skin when he tugged on a useless belt.
William moaned against the skin between his teeth when Nicholas curled a hand around his arousal.
He felt incredible, hot and ready. He wanted to see William, to watch him.
Tugging at his pants, the fabric fell enough to free him.
Nicholas licked his lips at the sight of William’s cock.
“I wish to have rid you of your clothes so much sooner,” he said, grinning from the thrusts of William’s hips.
William kissed him over and over, his words spoken between every breath. “It was foolish of us not to, wasn’t it?”
“We’ll have to make up for all the lost opportunities. There is so much I want to do to you.”
William caught him by the hair, bringing them face to face.
He licked the palm of his opposing hand before returning the favor, slipping beneath his trousers to bring him to ecstasy.
His cock throbbed in William’s grasp, hips rolling against a hand that could ruin him completely.
Nicholas thought of this moment a thousand times, but nothing compared to the lust in William’s eyes or the bliss overtaking him.
“What do you want to do to me, trouble?” William whispered, retreating whenever Nicholas tried kissing him. His hand dared to stop, and Nicholas thrust fruitlessly.
“I want to fuck you,” he growled, then took William’s bottom lip between his teeth while his hand slowed.
William’s thumb brushed his tip, teasing him. “Tell me more.”
“I want you to fuck me. I want to make you scream my name and beg for more. I want to be owned by you entirely. I want to be your last of everything.”
He kissed Nicholas hard, reaping the air from his body and soul. Their hands picked up a pace that left them panting. He yanked at Nicholas’ shirt and the fae rid himself of it. Their naked skin pressed together, the heat of their joining making Nicholas shudder.
William slipped out of Nicholas’ lap to get on his knees. “I want to taste you,” he purred, tempting as the devil.
He would give William anything he wanted if that wasn’t obvious enough already.
He stood, trousers falling to his ankles.
William’s eyes drank him in, a teasing tongue darting out to wet his perfect lips.
He curled his fingers in William’s hair, groaning when that delectable mouth reminded him of all it could do.
With a hand around his arousal, William pleasured himself while Nicholas’ cock hit the back of his throat. He fit perfectly, like they never separated, never forgot the feel of each other. He tested the boundary, rolling his hips faster and faster.
Their moans became one, a cacophony of pleasure echoing in the forest. William’s hand worked faster, his head dripping. He stopped to give the poor man a breath, William’s tongue darting out to drink from his tip before he returned to the ecstasy of his throat.
“Fuck, your mouth is incredible,” he groaned, relishing in the lust reflecting in William’s eyes. He admired his own work, knowing he drove Nicholas wild, that a few more moments of bliss would end it all.
Then William moaned, his hips jerking as his orgasm spilled over his fingers.
Nicholas shuddered, feeling William’s moans against his cock.
He didn’t stop, driving Nicholas further toward an orgasm that nearly sent him to his knees.
William swallowed every drop, departing afterward with a lewd pop.
He wiped the saliva from William’s lips, savoring the view of him on his knees.
“I don’t know how you expect me to get us out of here when you keep looking at me like you want me to take you,” he said, shivering when William pressed a kiss to his hip.
“Think of it this way, we aren’t fucking on the forest floor, so get us out of here and you can have me however you like,” William replied, smiling far too sweetly after such a carnal act.
He tugged on William’s hair, urging the man to stand before he caught his lips, tasting himself on William’s tongue. “You know the best ways to motivate me.”
William chuckled, sounding more like himself.
They didn’t separate, taking a longer moment to bask in one another. William traced his jawline. Then he settled his hands on Nicholas’ cheeks to look into his eyes, really look. Nicholas’ heart soared because there was no fear or concern, only pure admiration.
“In this light, your eyes are beautiful,” William said. Nicholas kissed him and would have continued to do so if he didn’t settle a finger on Nicholas’ mouth. “We should get out of here first.”
He knew that, but William distracted him so easily. When they separated, he admired William dressing, missing the sight of his flushed skin. But he enjoyed how William did the same, appreciating his body as he dressed. Then William held out his hand, and he took hold, intertwining their fingers.
“If you feel lightheaded or panicked, tell me,” he said.
“I will.”
They walked together through the shrouded forest. He brought William’s hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle because he wanted to.
William said nothing, but he smiled even after the third time Nicholas repeated the action.
He could have done that forever, merely walking hand in hand, enjoying being utterly alone.
Then the woods shrieked like a dying animal. The scream sent them into each other’s arms. Wind whipped so fiercely the trees bent. Leaves circled them, creating a vortex of darkness. The One Who Waits found them.