Chapter 8
Caleb
I was sure he wasn’t going to go for it. Not with the way his jaw went tight and his fingers dug into where they were resting on his thighs. But he surprised me by nodding his head. I wanted to laugh because I couldn’t tell if he was pissed or worried or excited.
Since I didn’t want to give him a chance to change his mind, I quickly shifted my weight so that I was on my knees in front of him. It made me a little taller than him. When I reached for his face, I felt his hands come up to my waist to steady me.
“Caleb—”
“I know, Jace,” I interrupted. “It won’t mean anything.
” I’d heard him loud and clear when he’d talked about his view of sex.
Admittedly, it had been hard to hear, especially since I’d been holding out hope that there might be some part of him that wanted me that way.
But even if there was, he and I both knew I wouldn’t be any kind of match for him.
The idea of sex, even with him, terrified me even as it intrigued me.
But aggressive sex and being used to get off?
No, I wasn’t capable of handling that. No matter how much a part of me wished I was.
With me being higher than him, Jace was forced to look up at me just a little.
I waited until his eyes met mine and then quietly said, “It means something to me, Jace.” Then I pressed my lips against his cheek.
I relished how warm his skin felt through the scratchy stubble on his face and the way his fingers dug into my waist just a little bit.
He clearly hadn’t been expecting the move, because when I pulled back, his eyes were closed and he looked like he was in pain.
“Jace,” I breathed.
He opened his eyes. It seemed to take him a moment to look at me. Our faces were just inches apart. It would’ve been so easy to lean in and taste his lips next.
“Thank you,” I said softly, then I let my fingers do what my lips couldn’t.
They skimmed his warm, firm lips. I hung there for a moment, long enough to let the memory of touching him take root deep inside of me in a place where I’d be able to find it later.
Then I pulled out of his reach and stood.
I left him sitting there and headed back to the kitchen to clean up the breakfast dishes.
I didn’t look back at him.
I’d told him more than I’d ever planned.
He’d made it possible to do so by giving me something in return.
As open as he’d been with me, I suspected he’d only scratched the surface.
He was so much more complicated than I’d ever imagined.
Of course, I’d seen him through the rose-colored glasses of a victim worshipping his rescuer.
Never in a million years would I have guessed he was so very… human.
I heard the engine of the boat kick in and a few moments later we began moving.
After the dishes were done, I pulled up my sleeve and began to clean up the dried blood on my arm from the night before when I’d gouged at the wounds with my fingernails.
I hadn’t missed the way Jace had looked at me this morning – he’d been wondering if I’d hurt myself while he’d still been asleep.
I supposed it was a look I’d have to get used to.
I didn’t really have the right to be upset that he didn’t trust me.
He shouldn’t.
The cuts had already scabbed over, so I left them alone.
Although I was still physically exhausted, I felt mentally restless, so I gave up on the idea of going back to bed and returned above deck.
Jace had gotten us headed south again, though we weren’t moving very fast. I grabbed the blanket still sitting on the back bench and took it up to the front of the boat with me.
The boat was designed so that the driver sat a little higher than the front of the boat, so I knew Jace could see me as I sat close to the edge to watch the hull slice cleanly through the water.
We traveled for about a half an hour before Jace stopped the boat, then dropped anchor.
I could see the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, which meant we were near Annapolis, which was where my father had kept his own boat.
The boat swayed as Jace came around to the front. He sat down next to me and said, “So, any chance you have a recipe in your repertoire for striped bass?” He cracked a smile at me and I was instantly glad that I hadn’t ruined things with the kiss I’d given him.
“I think I can pull something together. Are you planning on bringing the little woman home some fish to fry up?” I joked.
“Hell, no,” Jace said as he gave me a gentle slap on the back. “I can’t fish for shit. Dalton’s the one who has to bait my hook and cast my rod. No clue how to clean a fish, either.”
I laughed. “So what exactly can you do?”
He waggled his eyebrows at me. It was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh. “I mean, what can you do when it comes to fishing?”
“Not a damn thing.”
“So is this you cashing in your chips?”
I’d meant the comment as a joke, but the humor slipped from Jace’s face and something flashed in his eyes. His voice was sultry as he said, “No, I’m gonna save that for a bit.”
My dick responded to both his words and the way he’d said them. Not to mention how he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off me.
Or I him.
A boat overloaded with several twenty-somethings flew past us, breaking the moment. Jace jerked back, as if remembering where we were. He recovered quickly and stood as he said, “So, what do you say? ”
“I say I should probably get moving because if I don’t, we’re surely going to starve to death on this trip.”
Jace let out one of his growly little chuckles that I felt in my bones as he reached his hand down to help me up.
The first wave from the passing boat hit our boat at the exact moment I got to my feet, pitching me into Jace’s arms. My entire body lit up with expectation as Jace steadied me.
I could barely breathe as my eyes met his. Then his gaze was dropping to my mouth.
Despite everything he’d said about sex earlier, I wanted his kiss more than anything in the world. I’d tried to be mature by not kissing him like I’d wanted when I’d had the chance, but now I was thinking I’d squandered the opportunity.
God, it was all just so complicated.
But as he held me there in his arms, all I could think was, Fuck complicated – I want to know what it’s like to have a man’s mouth moving over mine . This man’s mouth .
So much for my promise to myself to keep my distance from him. I couldn’t afford to need him like I had for so very long. But just because it wasn’t good for me didn’t mean I didn’t crave it just the same.
“Is this a good spot?” Jace asked.
“What?” I asked. I didn’t give a shit where we were when he kissed me. I was pretty certain the second his lips touched mine, the rest of the world would cease to exist.
“Maybe something closer to the bridge? Or one of the inlets?”
God, he was talking about fishing.
“Oh, um, yeah, an inlet might be better. It’s quieter.”
Jace released me and stepped aside so I could walk ahead of him. It took a few minutes to get the boat in position and go through all of Dalton’s fishing gear.
“I think he left some bait for us in the fridge,” Jace said. He disappeared below deck and returned a few minutes later with a plastic container.
“Clams… nice,” I said as I took it from him. “We’ll start by just casting and see how it goes. If we don’t get any bites, we can try trolling. ”
Jace looked at me blankly, and I couldn’t help but laugh. He hadn’t been kidding. The man was completely clueless when it came to fishing.
“I’ll take care of you,” I said with another laugh.
Jace’s eyes held mine for a moment and we once again got lost in that place where it seemed like only the two of us existed.
“I have no doubt you will,” he finally said.
I wanted to say a lot of things to him in that moment, but then I remembered who I was and who he was, and that was enough to have me turning away from him so I could focus on the task at hand.
Anything to keep from reaching for Jace and begging him not to leave me again.
“Son of a bitch!”
“Again?” I said in disbelief as I turned to look over my shoulder at Jace. I stifled a laugh at the sight of Jace caught in the awkward position of holding his rod over his head, the line stuck behind him somewhere. I quickly put my own rod in the holder and then hurried to his side.
“God, you weren’t kidding,” I said as I eyed the hook that had gotten caught on one of the loops of Jace’s jeans. Fortunately, the sharp tip hadn’t penetrated the material and reached his skin. “You really do suck.”
“You going to help me out?” Jace growled, though there was no true anger behind his words.
I dropped to my knees so I could get a better look at the hook and work it free of the thick denim. “Okay, got it,” I said after a minute of working it loose. Jace carefully maneuvered the rod and then turned to face me.
That was when I realized I was still on my knees.
In front of him.
Tantalizingly close to…
I stumbled to my feet. Jace grabbed my elbow to steady me, but I quickly pulled free of him.
My body felt like it was on fire. “I’ll…
I’ll re-bait your hook,” I stuttered. I avoided Jace’s gaze as I worked.
“Do you want to try casting again?” I asked when I was finished.
Jace’s eyes were still on me, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“No, not sure my ass can take a second hit.”
His attempt to lighten the tension worked and I found myself smiling. I took the rod from him, avoiding touching him as I did so, then quickly re-baited the hook and cast the line into the water. I returned to my seat and Jace did the same. The silence between us grew, causing my anxiety to build.
“So, um, you can’t ski, cook, or fish,” I blurted. “What can you do? Besides save my life and stuff,” I added, flashing him a slight smile.
“I can juggle,” he said with a grin.
I chuckled at that.