6. Salvatore
six
Salvatore
T wo months late r (December) Present
Once again, I receive a reminder to sign the divorce papers, and once again, I refuse.
I thought I would sign them and make things right. However, I couldn’t.
I avoided signing over my life.
And that is exactly what I will be doing if I sign those papers. There was never doubt about how my heart felt, nor how it feels now when she is away and over the ocean.
It took me too long to understand that I’m not my father, that I don’t need to be forgiven for his crimes. It took me getting to know my mother, my siblings, and accepting myself.
I never thought I would have a family other than Cosa Nostra, a family that will accept me and love me no matter what, and they showed that with their actions, but I need to protect them. Because now, they are my weakness. If it gets out that I have a family I care for, anyone can use them against me. Just like that bastard Sabatini has done with Isabella.
I have a deal with my family. I now go to family dinners once a month, where I hear all the trouble my younger siblings get into. Like my sister, Olivia. Her temper keeps her brother and father on their toes, or my brother’s escapades with older women. My mother prays to God that he will come to his senses. And yes, I learned to call her Mother, but not when I’m with her. Just when I’m alone, in my mind. I shield myself from weakness because I cannot be vulnerable.
Not now, not ever.
Even my mother’s husband has accepted me as a part of his family, not that I need a father. I accept Frank as the father of my siblings and a person who I know will protect them.
I have learned the consequences of my actions and what they could cost me.
They cost me the most precious thing I had in my life.
“Again. Salvatore, I need you focused on this meeting.” I raise my eyes, and they clash with Gabriel’s annoyed gaze. “I told you two weeks ago that this is a big deal, and since Ashley has decided she can’t work here anymore, I’m in this alone until we find someone to take her place.”
I shrug. “You’re doing a great job, Gabe. I don’t see the fuss over finding a new finance manager.”
His forehead wrinkles when he raises questioning eyebrows. I never thought I would see him this annoyed over a job he used to do for me before Ashley came into the picture. But then again, the job wasn’t this demanding, and he could manage it with his boxing schedule. And he didn’t have a wife pushing all his buttons back then. I guess I should thank her for getting him to pull the stick out of his ass. “I don’t even know what to say to that, Salvatore, other than to question your sanity.”
Maybe he’s right, and I should question my sanity. I stay silent as he keeps talking. “Marco found someone for the job, however, I need to run it by you.”
I raise a questioning eyebrow. “Where did he find them?”
“Through applications on our website. But there is a catch. We never put a job advertisement out in the first place. Then we did some research.”
“And?”
“It’s Damiano.”
I close my eyes and take a breath to calm myself. My half-brother is too stubborn for his own good. “That little shit. I told him to stay away.”
“He has a good portfolio, and he is family.”
“No, he is not. He is my family, and he needs to stay away from this side of the business.”
“I don’t think you can keep him away if he wants in. He will find a way and the outcome will not be good.”
I shake my head and look where the liquor table used to stand. The one I crashed into the wall. I swallow the bitterness of that memory. I never replaced it. Maybe as a reminder of what my actions had cost me. “He’s mentioned a couple of times that he wants in. I refused; he needs to keep living a normal life.”
“Then find someone else for this job. I’m going back to boxing.”
I study him for a moment. “Why so sudden? Last year you said you said you were retiring.”
He runs a hand over his hair. “I need to fight. I thought I could leave it behind me, but I can’t.”
“Does that have anything to do with your wife?”
He shrugs. “Other than her driving me nuts, no.”
I chuckle. “Well, someone has to keep you on your toes.”
He rests his hands on his knees, narrowing his eyes at me. “Do they? Is that why you’re still not on your way across the ocean?”
I mirror him, doing the same on my desk. “I need a plan to do that. You know that.”
“Bullshit. That is what you keep telling yourself and the reason you keep delaying it.”
“That’s not true. If I go, my life is going to be in danger, and before I go, there are things I must put in order.”
He raises his brow. “What things?”
“Well, one of them is the finance manager you want. And the security of my family, and who would take over Cosa Nostra if something happened to me.”
“One more reason to let Damiano in. Cosa Nostra will protect your family.”
I lean back in my chair and look at the ceiling like it will give me answers. “So, he’s fit to be part of this?”
“I’m sure you know since you spent a lot of time with them lately.” He leans his head to the side. “Damiano has a little evil streak in him.”
I chuckle. “I had a feeling. I never asked, though. What did Marco find out about him?”
“When he was working in Miami, there was an employee that had gone missing. And while it seemed like was a domestic violence case, the cops didn’t do anything. That same employee showed up a month later with a dead husband and no explanation about what had happened. But Damiano took leave in the same month. And when Marco dug deeper into his movements and hacked into some cameras, it was clear he was behind the death of the husband.”
“And you’re telling me that now? Why not before?”
“Because before we didn’t have a reason to check him out. Now, we have. And we agreed he is a good fit.”
I raise a brow. “Who are we ?”
“Marco, Dante, and me.” He exhales. “Look, Salvatore, we did that because we care about you and the family. You are important to us. Hell, even Isabella is. She is a part of this family too. That’s why you need to go and get her back. And this is how you can go and be sure everything is taken care of. And you know as well as I do that Damiano is your next of kin. I promise he too will be taken care of.”
I stare at him. I understand everything he’s saying and what needs to be done, and everything he’s saying does make sense. I just don’t understand why I’m fighting it.
I need to accept that I can’t always be in control. Accept that I can’t control others, but what I can control is getting Isabella back.
I can’t turn back time, but I can make amends.
Maybe it’s too late, but I will never know until I try. I don’t have to have a perfect plan. I just need to decide what I want. And what I want is Isabella back.
I want my family all together and a chance for a new life.
A life where I can have what I want. A life where I get what I deserve.