Regina’s Diary
Dear Diary,
I thought I didn’t need to write down my feelings anymore since it’s been three years from when I last picked you up. But here I am again, hiding in the bathroom, staring at a bottle of pills—trying to fight my need to just end this.
You’re the only one I can talk to—tell my innermost feelings, while I fight off the demons that are still haunting me.
It’s not all happy days for me—not since I tried looking for Krew and Decker this past year.
No matter how many different searches I did on social media, their names didn’t show up.
I need to accept the notion that they simply don’t have any profiles.
Which means they don’t want to be found.
I also have to give up the dream of ever seeing them again.
I still miss them so damn much. My heart won’t quit aching for them. I thought of calling Decker and Krew’s fathers, but I nixed that idea immediately. Decker’s father would hang up on me because he was a bastard—and I bet he still is. And I wasn’t about to call Krew’s dad in case...
I even went as far as calling Maya again for details, and she actually answered on the first ring. I hoped she’d offer to make the calls for me, but she didn’t. All she told me was that both Decker and Krew left Elida and she didn’t know where they went to.
I don’t know what to do Diary. I want the hollowness in my heart to go away. I want the nightmares gone from my dreams. I want the memories of that night to be wiped clean from my brain so I can live again. So I can love again. So I can be me again.
I just reread what I wrote tonight, and I want to thank you, Diary for being here for me. Because if I can write that I want to love again, and be me again, I have a reason not to take these pills.
Regi