Chapter 10
AVA
I wake up warm, disoriented, and not alone.
For one awful second, I forget where I am. I forget what day it is, what version of myself I'm meant to be. I feel the arm draped over my waist, and I snuggle closer to Roman, a smile ghosting my lips.
“Morning, love.”
My eyes spring open as reality hits.
That’s not Roman…
A sickening sensation travels through my body as I remember my husband has cheated on me with a fucking model. And here I am, laying in another man’s arms. Not just any man either?—
Kieron.
I blink against the bright light filtering through the windows. We're curled up together on Scott and Amanda's sofa, tangled under a throw blanket. Fully clothed, thank fuck. My head is on his chest, his heartbeat steady beneath my cheek.
And I remember.
We kissed.
Holy shit.
The frantic way our mouths found each other. The heat, the urgency…how hard he was because of kissing me .
But it didn't go any further. Somehow, we stopped.
The guilt creeps in anyway. It's not about what didn't happen. It's about what almost did. Roman may be comfortable fucking around on me, but my heart still feels like it’s betraying my husband.
I shift slightly, and he tries to hold me close, but I slip away.
"You stayed," he says, squinting in the light.
"I guess I did." I sit up slowly.
His eyes search mine for something I can't name.
Relief? Hope?
Please don’t be any of those .
"I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." I feel so fucking awkward. It’s never been like this between us.
I’m just glad we didn’t do anything else, but it feels like we have done enough.
Fuck.
"I'm glad you did." He rubs the back of his neck, still watching me. "Nothing happened. In case you're wondering."
Awkward much?
"I know."
But I also know what almost happened. And so does he.
I stand, smoothing my clothes, needing distance, clarity, and a strong cup of coffee. At this point, maybe I need a new fucking identity.
"We should get coffee. Or food,” I suggest, avoiding his intense gaze.
Kieron nods, standing too. "Amanda left stuff out in the kitchen. I'll make you something."
Why would she do that? Did she see us kiss?
Oh my god.
I follow him, wondering if Amanda saw us asleep on the sofa. How inappropriate, and what if Poppy saw?!
I feel sick.
We move around the kitchen quietly—him making tea the British way, me buttering toast like it's a distraction from my thoughts.
When we finally sit, he slides a mug toward me and meets my eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know."
Kieron sips his tea. "I didn't mean to mess things up. I just...I've waited a long time to say some of those things."
"I know. And you didn't mess anything up. Things were already a mess."
He gives a small smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
I take a breath. "I think I need space, Kieron. Not from you exactly, just from everything."
He nods. "Of course. Take whatever you need."
And I know he means it.
Just then, Amanda walks into the kitchen in her robe, blinking sleep from her eyes. "Morning. You two want breakfast?"
Kieron and I exchanged glances. For a brief second, it feels like we're teenagers again. Caught in something innocent but not simple.
A slight thrill zips through me.
Get a fucking grip, Ava.
"I think I'll go get some air." I slip outside before I can overthink it.
The lake looks different in daylight. I watch it move, regardless of what’s going on around it.
I wish I could do that—carry on regardless.
I sit on the edge of the dock and pull out my phone, seeing so many messages from Roman.
The guilt at what he would do if he saw me last night, kissing my best friend, that I swore nothing like that existed between us. But Roman called it—since day one, he knew.
I didn’t.
Roman would lose his mind if he knew.
But fuck him and his fucking model. Cheating bastard.
I stare at the water, wondering what the hell I’m going to do. I can’t ignore Roman forever.
Footsteps crunch behind me, slow and deliberate, and I know it’s Kieron before he says anything.
"You always did run away from awkward situations." He lowers himself to sit beside me on the dock.
"I just needed some air."
"I get it."
I glance over at him, and he offers a half-smile that makes me wonder what he’s really thinking about.
"I booked a hotel nearby when I arrived yesterday. I didn’t want to impose on everyone here."
I laugh, still watching the ripples on the lake. "You are never an imposition."
He hums a quiet acknowledgment. "It is one of those artsy boutique places with a bar downstairs, obnoxiously good tea, and overly curated playlists. Seriously expensive though, but nice. I thought I would drive there later—maybe get breakfast, clear my head."
I look over at him while he watches the water too, his hands laced behind his head.
Fuck, he really is gorgeous.
"You should come with me. We don’t have to talk about any of this, and I will even shut up if that is what you need. It could be something different for you, a distraction."
I hesitate, knowing it shouldn’t matter since it’s just a walk, a hotel café, a friend offering normalcy, but everything feels like a choice right now, a fork in the road I don’t want to be at.
Still, the idea of space—neutral space, away from the house, away from the memories, away from the way Amanda looks at me like I am going to break—is tempting.
"I would need to ask Amanda to keep Poppy a little longer."
"She already offered that. She told me last night she thinks you need some time to just be yourself."
I huff a small laugh. "She’s not wrong about that."
He nudges my knee with his own. "So is that a maybe?"
"It’s a yes, but only if you let me pick the music on the way there."
Kieron lifts his hands in surrender. "That is fine as long as you don't pick show tunes."
I raise a brow at him. "You used to love show tunes."
"I used to love canned spaghetti, too. We all grow up."
I shake my head, the smallest laugh escaping me. "Fine, but if we pass a bakery, we’re totally stopping there."
"Now that ," he says, standing and offering his hand to me, "I can get behind."
I take his hand and let him pull me to my feet, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t feel like I’m just surviving the day, but rather like I might actually make it through everything.