Chapter 15
ROMAN
T here's making mistakes, and then there's ripping your wife's heart out and stomping on it until there's nothing left but a sticky mess beneath your feet.
Then you try to pick it up, only to find you can't—parts are stuck to the ground, and no matter what, you can't get them.
So you still get on your hands and knees, picking away bit by bit, until you manage to hold it all together again, carrying it to your chest as you try to fix it.
Here I was, on my hands and knees.
Metaphorically speaking.
"Why didn't Mommy come to the zoo? She said she was doing something really fun." Poppy pouts as I stiffen beside her.
We're decorating cookies despite it being seven PM and way past her bath time. I'm addicted to her company—she's the only thing keeping me from drinking myself into oblivion or killing Kieron.
"Because she's having a little holiday." I glance at Poppy's cookie with an amused grin. "Is that a Christmas tree?"
I watch her tongue push into the corner of her mouth as she concentrates, green icing pouring over the sides.
"No, silly, it's Earth."
I hold back a smile as she frowns at me, pointing at the cookie.
"It just needs water. Have we got water icing?"
I peer at the box of icing, then frown. "I can't see any."
"Mommy would know. Ask her."
I push myself up, reaching into the bakery cupboard behind me. Everything's labelled in Ava's beautiful script, and anything to do with Poppy has a heart at the end of it.
Poppy's favourites ?
I pull out the box, smiling.
God, I love my wife.
Even though she’s currently probably fucking—NO.
I can’t.
"There are lots of glittery ones in here?—"
"Yes, Daddy! You found them!" Poppy claps her hands as she digs into the box, pulling out a blue icing tube.
Her praise makes me feel like a king, if only for a minute.
"Has Mommy gone on holiday with Uncle Kieron?"
My smile vanishes as I wonder when she got so damn smart.
I’ve only got myself to thank. Explaining to our daughter why my wife is away with another fucking man.
"Uh, yeah. You know they're friends, right?"
She looks up at me through her dark lashes, and I'm reminded of Ava so much I almost cry.
" Best friends, Daddy." She tuts, reprimanding me.
"Yeah." My voice sounds hollow. "Best friends."
That bastard .
"So they've gone away to have a break. Mommy will come back soon. She's been gone for four days."
Too long.
"I miss Mommy, do you?" She looks up at me suddenly, and I swallow, nodding as she smiles brightly. "When she's back, shall we all watch a movie like we used to? Before you got busy with work?"
Fucking hell .
My heart skips a beat as I nod, staring at her in awe as she continues.
"It's been really nice having you here, Daddy. I missed you before."
I feel like someone's plunging knives into my gut. The fact that I could've been spending time here , with my wife and child, instead of being with another woman makes me sick to my core. Good! Feel that guilt! You fucked up badly!
"I'm sorry, baby. I promise I'll always be here."
"You can't break promises, Daddy," Poppy warns, looking at me with wide eyes. "Mommy said if you break a promise, you break someone's heart. You don't want to do that, do you?"
I feel like my mouth is full of cotton wool, and I nod as tears come into my eyes.
"Daddy! Why are you crying, silly?"
"Because I love you and your Mommy so much." I pull her into my arms, burying my face in her little neck as she squeezes me back.
"We love you too, Daddy."
Except Mommy doesn’t, Pops; not anymore.
And it’s all my fault.
FLASHBACK: Annie & Roman
Annie brushes her lips on mine, her long legs wrapping around my thighs as she continues to ride me. She is magnificent to look at—all tanned skin and sun-kissed hair, her breasts moving with each motion.
"Oh, Roman, oh god..."
She throws her head back as I grip her hips, thrusting up to meet each movement, hoping she hurries up. I can't be late again, or Ava will start to suspect something. Finally, I come, and moments later, Annie shudders above me, her mouth open as she grips my shoulders.
"Please stay." She pouts as I lift her off me.
I pull off the condom, wondering why every time I come to end things with her, we end up in bed.
"You know I can't, Annie." I pull my pants on as she watches me with a hurt expression.
"So, what am I? Just some girl you come and screw because you're bored of your frumpy wife?" she snaps, and I look up at her, shaking my head as I pull my shirt back on.
"Don't talk about Ava like that."
Her bottom lip trembles as she looks up at me, and I sink onto the bed beside her. She's stunningly beautiful, her aquamarine eyes searching mine as she strokes my face. She throws her hands up in exasperation. "Just leave her! Be with me! What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm not leaving Ava, Annie. Ever . She's my wife ."
"You say that like it means something to you." Her voice turns bitter, and I lift her chin to look her in the eyes.
"It really does. It means I can't do this with you anymore, Annie."
"But what about me?!"
She's like a broken record, and I start to wonder what possessed me to cheat on Ava with her—with anyone, actually. This girl was exactly that—a girl.
At first, she'd been in awe of me, flirting after practice when I was introduced to her by one of my teammates. She was his girlfriend's friend, and she had her eyes on me.
She wasn't the first to try to lure me away from Ava, but she was the only one who succeeded. The first time I kissed her I was drunk, but once I'd done that, the next step seemed easy.
But now, I’m done.
I had no reason for this affair, no reason at all. I guess I used her. We were never officially together, but she was so fucking demanding and needy.
It was exhausting.
I just wanted Ava.
"Not in the way you think, Annie. I'm sorry. You and I are too different. You need to meet someone more like you?—"
She loses it then, screaming and crying as she pushes me out of her house, promising me she'll make me pay for using her.
Two days later, I get the text while I'm at practice.
I'm going to the media. I have photos of us together. Let your wife decide how much you really love her. A xx