Chapter Eleven
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Zarah
“ I don’t understand.”
Jerricka gently smooths down my sleeve, covering the bandage, and fastens the button at my cuff. “The memories you’ve lost as Ash’s whore and your time at Quiet Meadows? That isn’t caused by the drugs Ash forced on you to keep your mouth shut. We were testing something else entirely.”
“But why me?” My thoughts are slow, sluggish. I can’t process what she’s saying. The doctors at Quiet Meadows were testing drugs on me, and they worked. Since Dr. Reagan started weaning me off Ash’s poison, the holes in my past have plagued me, and I’ve believed my future would never be what I want it to be. Ash broke me, but not in the way that I thought.
“It wasn’t only you, but you responded the most favorably, beyond anything we were expecting, quite frankly. Come now, there’s plenty of time to ask questions. No one knows where we are.” She stands and laughs, and the sound is ugly, writhing through the air like ribbons of poisonous gas.
I sit frozen in my chair. I can’t move.
“I said now .” She backtracks and grabs me, digging her fingernails into my arm until I cry out. “Listen to me. You’re stupid and it’s not your fault, but you could at least try.”
Jerricka drags me out of my chair, and I stumble behind her. She pushes me through the living room and toward the stairs, but instead of going up, she opens a door at the back and reveals a staircase going down to a basement. Flicking on a fluorescent light, she releases my arm and follows me into what looks like a laboratory and hospital room combined into one space.
My blood runs cold at the sight of the hospital bed and the pair of handcuffs attached to the rail.
“Behave, and I won’t have to use those on you,” Jerricka says, watching my reaction to the glinting silver cuffs. “There’s nothing around my house for miles, so don’t think you can get away. This will go a lot smoother if you cooperate.”
“Gage and Zane will find me.”
“Zane left you in that dump. Do you want to know why we chose you? Because we knew your brother didn’t give a shit about you. Why would he? He was too busy licking that hooker’s cunt to care about his own sister. He abandoned you, let Ash do whatever he wanted to you. As for Gage Davenport, it’s amazing what someone will do when limited options are presented to them. His father was easy to pick up. Sleeping on the couch through a movie. He chose his father, Zarah. Not you. He chose his family over a crazy little whore.”
I don’t want to believe anything she says and I cover my ears to shut her out. Ash lied and told Zane he loved me and was taking care of me. My brother didn’t abandon me...he didn’t choose Nathalie instead of me. He believed Stella and Sergio Cardello ran away together and he used Nathalie to bury his pain. Gage said he would never leave me. He told me, promised me, that he would love me forever, but my mind is starting to snap. Maybe it’s the drugs, maybe it’s the trepidation I’ve had all along about our relationship, but something in her tone ring true. Gage won’t rescue me.
“Stella.”
Jerricka laughs and rolls a stool out from underneath a laboratory table. “Stella’s dead. She was walking the dogs and someone accidentally shot her in a horrible hunting accident. Face it, Zarah, everyone you love is gone. Stay here, work with me, and together we’ll rule the world. It’s about time a woman did. Now, let’s see if you’re carrying a bastard child. Not that it matters. Gage won’t want it even if you are.”
Her words are lost in a wail so loud my vocal cords threaten to rip out of my throat. I drop to my knees, not feeling the jarring impact as it vibrates through my legs and into the rest of my body. “Stella,” I sob, and in a wave of despair so hot and thick, I crumple to the floor keening into my hands. Stella. My sister, my savior, my best friend.
She’s gone, and this, out of anything Jerricka could ever tell me, I believe. How easy it would be for someone to set their sights on her while she walks with Arya and Sansa through the woods before penning them up for the night. I picture her body motionless, lying in the snow under a moonlit sky, Zane a zombie, his heart motionless in his chest. Forever.
“Jesus Christ,” Jerricka screams. “Get a hold of yourself.”
I stiffen, expecting a physical reprimand, a kick, a slap, but all she does is let me cry until my throat is raw and my eyes are out of tears. When I’m finally quiet, she says, “You aren’t pregnant. The test didn’t detect any hCG in your blood. I almost wish you were. It would have been an interesting element to factor into the testing.”
I’m not pregnant. I’m glad I’m not. I don’t want a baby harmed by what Jerricka is going to do to me, but the sense of loss is great. Gage chose his father over me, and without his baby inside me, I have nothing of him.
Not one thing.
Jerricka even ruined memories of our lovemaking, turning what we’ve been doing into something nasty and lewd. Gage never had sex with me to use me or hurt me. All he ever did was show me how much he loved me, and I let Jerricka’s evil tarnish what we had. I’m ashamed I believed every word she said while we were sitting in the plane. She broke my fragile self-esteem, when, had I been stronger, had I had more faith in Gage, she never would have gotten to me.
It’s my fault I’m here, and now I have to pay for my weakness.
Shattered, I curl into a fetal position and blank out my reality.
Jerricka stands over me. “You’re not a prisoner. Find something to eat in the kitchen, or go up to your room and take a bath and get a good night’s rest. We need you to keep your strength up. There will be a lot of testing in the next few days. I’m having guests tomorrow, two gentlemen who are very eager to put their hands on you.” She nudges me, her toe digging into my ribs. “Are you listening to me?”
I roll to my other side, not caring if this will earn a punishment. There’s nothing she can do that will hurt me any more than she already has.
She’s taken away my family, the people I love, and with them, my will to live.
The steps creak as she walks up the stairs, and she turns out the light, leaving me lying alone in the dark.