15. Colette
15
Colette
I know something is wrong the moment I wake up and don’t see Antonio beside me. It’s a nagging feeling in my gut, one I can’t explain, but one that makes me very uncomfortable. It gets worse when I find his running shoes, the ones he always uses, sitting in their usual corner in the bedroom. A quick search of the house tells me I am alone.
There’s a dull throb in my head from last night’s drinking that mixes with the dread I feel, but can’t explain. I try to ignore both sensations, returning to the bedroom for a quick shower. If Henry noticed I didn’t sleep at home, he would let all hell loose. He’s always been overprotective of me, treating me like a child. I get dressed in slacks and a faded t-shirt, hoping I can sneak into the house and pretend like I’ve been there the whole time.
So much for taking a break from Antonio. I leave him a note on the kitchen counter, informing him I’m heading home and thanking him for last night.
I hear Henry’s distinct yell while I’m shutting Antonio’s door. The dread I’ve been feeling returns in force, and I rush for my house, a sick feeling in my stomach. There’s another voice in the shouting match, deep and assertive, although I can’t make out the words. Is that… Is that Antonio?
I rush down the driveway, my heart pounding. Something is very wrong — alarm courses through me at the thought of Antonio and Henry getting into an altercation. The truth sends fear through me. Antonio came here today to tell Henry about us. There’s nothing else I can think of as the reason for these two men to fight. I feel a bitter anger towards Antonio, who I had begged to keep this quiet, but I’m also worried about the two of them. The last thing I want to do is come between brothers.
I spot Antonio storming out of the house, and then down the front steps, his face twisted with anger. He runs right into me, stopping short when he sees me on the path.
"Antonio!" I exclaim, taking in his disheveled appearance with growing concern. "What's going on? I heard shouting."
He shakes his head, refusing to meet my eyes. "It's nothing. Just…leave it alone, Col."
Before I can protest further, he brushes past me, heading down the long driveway with heavy, purposeful strides. I watch him go, my brow furrowed. Whatever happened back there, it left him very upset, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.
Pursing my lips, I continue up to the front door, pushing it open without bothering to knock. "Henry?" I call out, stepping into the foyer. "Henry, what the hell is going on?"
I hear movement from down the hallway, and he appears a few moments later, storming into the room with his face set in hard lines of fury.
"You want to know what's going on?" he snaps, his tone scathing. "I just found out that my supposed best friend, who I encouraged you to talk to because he needed some company, has been screwing you behind my back!"
While I was waiting for it, I still wince at the anger in his voice. I breathe in, looking for what to say in my defense. Instead, I just stand there, unable to form a single word. Dozens of questions ricochet through my mind as my heart pounds.
But one emotion supersedes everything else — mortification. Shame floods my system, burning hot in my veins. Henry's eyes bore into me, assessing my reaction, and his expression twists into a sneer.
"So, it's true then," he says. "You've been letting that washed up junkie rock star fuck you while I've been here playing the fool."
The heat of indignation surges through me at his crude, insulting words. My hands ball into fists at my sides as I grapple for a response, irritation warring with humiliation.
"It's none of your business who I choose to be with!" I manage, my voice rising. "You don't get to judge me, or Antonio."
Henry barks out a harsh laugh, running an agitated hand through his disheveled hair. "Like hell I don't get to judge. I'm your brother, Colette. It's my job to protect you, to keep you from making stupid mistakes like falling into bed with an addict who can't get his shit together!"
Something inside me snaps at his cruel characterization of Antonio. I stride forward, closing the distance between us until we're nose to nose.
"How dare you talk about him like that?" I seethe, controlled fury making my words tremble. "You do not know what he's been through, what he's overcome."
Henry scoffs, shaking his head as he levels me with a look of pure disgust. "Are you even listening to yourself? He's got you so twisted around his finger that you can't even see the truth. That guy is bad news, sis. Mark my words, he's going to end up hurting you again."
I frown with irritation. “You said this to him? Did you say all this to him?” He looks away, still indignant, but I can see his shame from his posture. He can’t meet my eyes, and I feel myself boil with anger.
“Are you fucking serious right now? How could you be so stupid and insensitive? You’ve known him your whole life. How can you throw his demons in his face like that?”
“It needed to be said. Someone had to let him know how much of a mess he’s become.”
“And that person just had to be you… Didn’t it?” I feel like ripping him to pieces. Explains why Antonio wouldn’t talk to me earlier. A thought crosses my mind, and I approach Henry. “Tell me. Why did he come here? What caused your argument?”
Henry glances up at me and then looks away again. He shifts, biting his lower lip just the way he used to when we were kids. “That’s not important. I want to know when this thing with Antonio started.”
“Like hell it isn’t. What caused your fight? What was that argument about? And don’t you dare lie to me, Henry!”
He settles into the chair closest to him, his face still twisted in guilt. The silence between us stretches, and I can’t help but wonder what is making him so uncomfortable. Something must have happened for him to turn on his friend as violently as he did. The question is, what? Antonio came here for a reason. Whatever it is, it must be something horrible if it resulted in the two of them fighting afterwards.
“He came here to tell you about us, didn’t he?” I spit. “And in response, you painted him as public enemy number one.”
“No… That wasn’t it at all. I found out about you two on my own.”
“Then what the fuck happened?” I yell. “Where did this come from?”
He sighs and covers his face with his hands. “If he knows, then it’s only a matter of time before you find out. Might as well tell you myself, and you understand why I did what I did. I fucked up, Col. Big time.”
“What did you do?” I ask. “What could you have done to get us to this point?”
“I did something wrong, and Antonio found out about it at the party yesterday,” he says. “He came here this morning to confront me about it. Col, I need you to believe me. I did not know how bad he was… If I’d known, I’d never have done it.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
He looks up at me with guilt-stricken eyes. “Your marriage wasn’t just Dad’s fault. I made a mistake back then… It cost us a lot of money, and…cutting a deal with Ricardo’s family would give back twice the amount. It was the only way I could fix my mistake. He made sure that I made you do it…or he was going to remove me as heir.
“You need to understand. I didn’t know the type of monster he was. He hid that part well enough from all of us. I never knew how fucked up the situation was. I thought he was an okay enough guy. Antonio found out and confronted me about it. He accused me of selling you off into a nightmare. Things kinda spiraled downwards after that, and we both said some very fucked up things to each other.”
I can’t believe my ears. I can hear the words he’s saying, but my brain is struggling to process meaning those words. It feels like an eternity before I can understand Henry’s revelation, and when I do, I feel something snap inside me.
“All this time… I always wondered why you were so insistent on me marrying him,” I say in a cold, angry voice. “I’ve made a million excuses for you. I mean, how could you have known? And now, I realize one thing. Even if you had known who he was, you would have still pushed me to marry him.”
“No, Col—”
“Fuck you. You stand here and talk shit about Antonio, telling me all the things he could do to me. But I guarantee you, he would never betray me like this.”
Pain and anger war inside me, an angry tempest that threatens to pull everything down in its path. I can’t fathom the depth of the betrayal. Sold by my family.
I lose every desire to talk to Henry and turn to leave. He rushes out of his seat and grabs my arm. “Col, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never wanted— "
"Don't touch me!" I jerk away from his outstretched hands, hugging my arms around myself as if to shield my body from his apologies and regrets. He recoils as if I've struck him.
Hot tears of rage prick at the corners of my eyes as I struggle to keep my composure. "I don't want to hear it, Henry," I choke out, my voice hoarse and thick with tears. "Not now. Never again."
Pivoting on my heel, I make my way toward the door, stumbling through a haze of hurt and rage and betrayal. I can't bear to spend another second in his presence.
The sob that escapes me is guttural, torn from the very depths of my being. It's too much— the grief and anguish threatening to swallow me whole as I flee down the front steps and into the driveway with no sense of where I'm going, as long as it's far away from my brother and the torment he's inflicted on me.
Maybe if I keep running, I'll be able to outrun the demons that haunt me. I keep walking, focused on putting one foot in front of the other, until I find myself on Antonio's doorstep without even realizing that's where my subconscious has led me.
After a few dull knocks, the door swings open to reveal Antonio watching me with worried eyes. He takes one look at my devastated expression and moves aside to let me enter without a word. Such a small gesture, but the care and understanding behind it is enough to crumble the last remnants of my fraying composure.
I press my face into his chest as I cry in earnest, my entire body trembling with the force of my sobs. Antonio's arms enfold me, holding me close as I unravel against him. I clutch at his shirt, hanging on for dear life as the tumult of grief, fury and heartbreak threatens to pull me under.
"Shhh," Antonio soothes, one hand cradling the back of my head as the other rubs soothing circles against my back. "It's okay, Col. I've got you."
His murmured comfort only makes me cry harder. Here is the one man who has seen the darkest, most damaged parts of me without flinching, and he still treats me with unrelenting care and tenderness. It's more than I can process right now; I don't deserve the kindness he shows me.
"I'm so s-sorry," I hiccup between sobs, the words emerging in gasps and stutters. "About H-Henry and what he s-said to you. T-That wasn't f-fair. He's so s-stupid!"
Antonio shushes me again, pressing his lips to the crown of my head. "Don't you dare apologize to him. This isn't your fault, Col. None of it is."
A harsh knock on the front door punctuates his words, making me flinch. I already know who it is without having to ask. Antonio's jaw tightens, his eyes flickering toward the sound before returning to me.
"Just ignore it," I mumble, dropping my forehead to rest against his chest once more. I can't face Henry right now, not when the wounds are still so raw.
Sure enough, a few seconds later my brother's voice rings out, muffled through the wood. "Colette? Antonio? I know you're both in there. We need to talk about this like adults."
Silence falls between us for a long stretch. His useless pleas to be let in filling the strained quiet, interspersed with a series of insistent knocks and bangs. I tune him out, focusing instead on the steady cadence of Antonio's heartbeat thudding against my cheek, letting the rise and fall of his chest lull me.
Henry seems to give up, and eerie stillness descends over the house once more. Only then do I feel the tension leave Antonio's body as he exhales a soft sigh, his fingers resuming their idle strokes through my hair.
"You're safe here, Col," he murmurs, loud enough for only me to hear. "As long as you want to stay."
A shuddering breath escapes me at his reassurance. In his arms, wrapped in his solid warmth and soothing scent, I felt safe. Protected in a way I haven't allowed myself to feel since… well, since before my ex.
That sense of security finally allows the tears to subside, leaving me drained and hollow in their wake. I shift in Antonio's embrace until my cheek is pillowed against his shoulder, my eyes drifting shut of their own accord. There's so much I want and need to say to him, to share. But for now, my energy depleted, leaving me wrung out.
As if sensing my exhaustion, Antonio cradles me closer, maneuvering us toward the living room. I shuffle alongside him, our footsteps muted against the plush carpet. He guides me to the sofa, and we sink into the cushions together, his arms still locked around me in that steady, grounding hold.
For a long while, I breathe. In and out, letting the rhythm of it calm my stuttering heartbeat. Antonio strokes my hair, my arm, any part of me he can reach in quiet reassurance, grounding me in the present moment. The menacing shadows of the past are kept at bay, if only for now.
When I feel strong enough to speak without breaking apart, the first words that leave my lips are a strangled, "I can't believe he did that to me."
Antonio's hand stills in my hair, his body tensing almost imperceptibly. I can sense the effort it's taking for him to remain composed as I pull away to meet his gaze head on.
"I trusted him," I continue, my voice wavering with the depth of my lingering hurt. "Henry was the only person I had after…after him. And yet he was just using me, treating me like a bargaining chip rather than his own flesh and blood."
The agony of that realization still lances through me like a jagged shard of ice, impossible to ignore. Betrayal stings deep, made even more potent because it came at the hands of the person who was supposed to protect me above all others.
Antonio gathers me close once more, tucking my head beneath his chin as he rocks me. I let the embrace soothe me, concentrating on his solid presence wrapped around me while I try to sort through the tangled web of emotions.
"I'm so sorry, bella ," he murmurs, the low rumble of his voice vibrating against my cheek. "You didn't deserve any of that shit, and Henry's actions are inexcusable. But you know that none of it is your fault. You hear me? None of this lies at your feet."
He cups my face then, tilting my chin until I'm forced to meet the sincerity burning in his eyes. "You're one of the strongest people I know, Colette," Antonio says, holding my gaze.
"What you went through… what that monster did to you..." His jaw tightens, a muscle feathering, and for a moment, I think he might actually fight back tears of his own. "It would have broken anyone else. But not you, Col. You survived."
A soft, tremulous sound escapes me at his ardent words. His faith in me, his mere presence at my side, is the balm I didn't know I needed to soothe the sting of Henry's actions. Antonio understands my pain in a way my brother can't — or won't allow himself to.
Leaning in, I capture his lips in a slow, trembling kiss. It's almost chaste, an echo of the deep gratitude and affection I feel for this man blooming in my chest.
When we part, I rest my forehead against his, our mingled breaths fanning between us. "Thank you," I murmur, trailing my fingers along the sharp line of his jaw. "For being here. For listening. Just…thank you."
The corner of Antonio's mouth curves in a gentle, lopsided smile. He turns his head to graze a lingering kiss to my palm, sending a shiver skittering down my spine.
"You don't need to thank me, Col. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You hear me?"
I nod, letting the truth of his vow sink into my very marrow. After so much upheaval and pain, his solid presence is the harbor I can anchor myself to while the storm rages around me.
Pressing another fleeting kiss to his lips, I settle back against the couch cushions and tuck myself into his side, craving the cocoon of his embrace. Antonio wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close with a contented hum.
"How are you feeling?" he murmurs after a lengthy stretch of contented silence, nuzzling a kiss to my hairline. "Any better after getting some of that off your chest?"
I let out a shuddering breath, considering his question for a long moment. Do I feel better? The ache of Henry's betrayal still smolders in a dull, insistent throb beneath my breastbone. But with Antonio's steady strength and unwavering care surrounding me, it's easier to keep it from consuming me.
"I think so," I say at last, curling closer into the curve of his body, enjoying the warmth. "I think so."
***?