Chapter 12 ~ Isabella #3
For who, I wonder? Because it’s not me. I’m still in shock that I got kicked out of my house within 24 hours of meeting him, and I don’t even know where all my stuff is.
Did they pack my art supplies? My canvases?
My stomach drops and my chest feels tight.
I feel like a homeless person. Actually, I’d rather be a homeless person.
At least all my shit would be in a grocery cart.
The waitress comes and we order our drinks. Anna and Alex strike up a conversation as if they’ve known each other for years. They are doing most of the talking, which is good because I don’t have anything to say.
Everything I needed to say to Anna, I’m not saying that in front of Alex. I did my research last night and I’m scared. If this is his lifestyle, I don’t think we are going to work out. His arm is still on the back of the booth, and I can feel his fingers lightly playing with a strand of my hair.
My stomach lights up with butterflies, but I know his affection is not real, and it makes me uncomfortable.
After reading what I read last night, do I even want his type of affection?
I know I should get used to having this man so close to me, but it will only lead to the false hope that he might care.
I try to move away slightly and his heavy arm drops, wrapping around the back of my waist to cup my hip, pulling me to his side again. This feels like a trap, and I will pay again if I don’t go along with the false affection he is displaying for Anna.
Anna taps my hand, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“So I think that would work, wouldn’t it, Isabella?”
I shake my head because I don’t even know what they’ve been talking about.
I whisper, “I’m sorry. What were we discussing?”
Anna beams at me. “Alexander invited me over to help you move in. He says he’s leaving town on Thursday. Maybe we could hang out this weekend and get you all settled in.”
I’m shocked that he would even offer my friend to come over to his place.
I lean slightly away to look at him, and for once, I look him in the eyes.
My breathing stops, and my heart picks up speed.
I’m not looking at the evil monster that pinned me to the bathroom wall.
All I see at this moment is a handsome man.
His eyes are soft and slightly crinkled as he smiles at me.
That killer smile with the dimples I look at his mouth, those soft, warm lips that touched mine so quickly. I’m so stunned I just stutter, “Sure.”
This is the dangerous path I have to tread carefully on. The way he is looking at me right now? The way he touches me? It feels real? And every time he does this, a sliver of me wants it to be true. But I know that it’s not.
Alex leans in close, rubbing his nose along the top of my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “Isabella will be more than happy to have you. She’ll need some company while I’m away.”
He turns his face towards Anna. I can feel the heat of his cheek so close to mine. “Maybe you two could get a jump on this wedding stuff. Our mothers will be a constant reminder of our upcoming nuptials. I’m sure there’s a lot planned”
He turns to look at me once again. He runs his finger down the side of my neck, pressing once again on the spot where he marked me. “You’ll be a busy girl while I’m away.”
He tilts back slightly, still so close to my face that I can feel his breath on my cheek. The flecks of grey in his eyes have me captured; I can’t stop looking at him. All I can do is nod.
Alex turns away from me and faces Anna, reaching out his hand.
“It was nice to meet you, but I’ll be taking Isabella home now. She’s got a late night and early morning. And since I’ll be picking her up after work every day, I’ll be seeing much more of you.”
Anna shakes his hand, still mesmerized by him, her eyes blown wide with awe.
With that, he stands up and holds out his hand for me.
And as I have learned my lesson, I reach out and place my hand in his.
He gently tugs me so I can exit the booth.
Not letting go of my hand, he pulls me in front of him, linking our fingers to rest on the front of my stomach.
I tighten the muscles, trying my hardest to pull my potbelly flatter.
Alexander leans in and nips my shoulder by the collar of my sweater. “Relax,” he whispers, close to my ear.
Anna hops out of the booth, grabbing me. She gives me a quick hug, pulling me slightly away from Alexander’s chest. She whispers in my ear, “Hot as fuck. Holy shit, girl! You better have Googled what I told you to Google.”
As we break apart, I nod, my face heating, because I’m not about to say anything in front of Alex. Holding her hand, I squeeze it, “I’ll text you later, let you know how things are going. I’ll see you tomorrow at work?”
Anna leans back, pointing in my face, “Hell yeah! And I’ll be bringing coffee.”
I just laugh, “OK, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Alexander still hasn’t let go of my hand as he leads me to the door. We’re out on the street, and he walks toward a black SUV. Suddenly, a large shadow spreads across the sidewalk, and I look up. The big guy is there, opening the back door.
He's got a big grin on his face. I wish I could match his smile, but I can't. I'm a little scared. I'm terrified of my emotions and what's going on. I'm worried I'm about to enter the Lions' den and there's no turning back.
Everyone has made plans for my life except for me.
The one person in my life I truly know who loved me, besides my grandparents, I won’t be seeing anymore.
I’m going to miss Diane. I almost want to cry, thinking that I won’t wake up every morning and see her smiling face, kiss her cheek as I head out the door to work.
The big guy moves aside, and Alexander holds the door open as I slide into the back seat. Alexander climbs in beside me, and the big guy shuts the door and walks to the front to take the driver’s seat. He gets in, smiles at me in the rearview mirror, and starts the car.
Once the car is in motion I give Alexander a side glance. He hasn’t made any further attempt to talk to me or touch me, he just looks out the window, his fists gripped on his thighs, letting me know the show is over, so no need to pretend anymore, and it stings.
I’m such a fool. I knew he was putting on an act for Anna, and I let myself, for a few minutes to feel what it must be like to be admired by a man like him. To feel the way Rebekah must feel when men fawn all over her. I should know better.
No one fawns over girls like me. No one cares to protect big girls like me.
Our size alone makes everyone believe we can take care of ourselves.
Most of the time, we can, but our hearts are twice as big as our bodies and break twice as hard.
I squish myself as close as I can to my side of the car, hugging the door.
I look out the window, ignoring the man sitting beside me.
Alex calls out through the partition, “Take us home, Carlos.”
So... the big guy’s name is Carlos.
Home.
Alexander says, take us home. But I only have one home. And it’s not here.