30. Riley
Chapter 30
Riley
In the car with Cian, I’m so out of it, I barely trust myself to speak.
Once the initial relief of Finn’s survival reduced like wine in a hot skillet, fear and anxiety laid waste to my mind.
He’s okay now, but what happens when they come after us again? What if we aren’t so lucky next time?
My brain hurts from thinking of all the possible scenarios that could befall us. My nerves are shot. Tracing Finn’s sleeping face was my only distraction these past few days. His blank, peaceful expression tempted me to imagine a future with him, to envision sharing a life together once all of this is over and our convoluted charade is behind us.
Listen to me. Us? Since when are Finn and I an us?
Pain stabs my heart. I pinch my bottom lip between my fingers. Finn’s lips are still here, all over mine, in my memory.
He’s safe. He survived. And soon, he’ll be home.
“What happens then?”
“What happens when?”
Cian’s low, even voice startles me. “Did I say that out loud?”
He engages his left turn signal. “I’m taking you back to the hospital for one more check.”
“My head is fine, Cian. I promise.”
“I threw you against that wall pretty hard.”
What’s that persistent edge in his voice? Worry? Regret?
“You saved my life.”
I take in his strained face, surprised to catch a glimpse of the heart that beats beneath the playboy facade. He mumbles something under his breath and disengages the turn signal as if he’s doing so against his better judgment.
Looking at him now, really seeing him, I can tell he has something on his mind. A vein in his jaw jumps, as if the pressure buildup of words unsaid will explode at any second.
“Is something wrong?”
“Look around. We’ve got enemies coming at us from multiple sides. Don’t know who’s in on it and who’s not. Plus we have business to run as usual while we deal with all of this shit in the background. Bodies dropping everywhere.”
“That’s not what I meant. It seems like something else is bothering you too.”
His eyes widen. When his momentary surprise passes, he drops his head back against the seat. “You and your sister are nothing alike.”
Whether he means that soft utterance for himself or for me, I’m not sure.
I cast him a sideways glance. “What were you doing there?”
“Where?”
“At my apartment. That day.”
The car accelerates around us, and that vein in Cian’s jaw jumps again.
“I’m not suspicious of you!” I hurry on, worried my question offended him. “I’m grateful you were there. I wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t been. But…how did you happen to be there?”
He sucks in a breath he doesn’t release.
Then he grinds the words out. “I do a couple sweeps a day. Just in case she shows up there.”
She.
Harper.
My eyebrows rise. I slow blink at him while dozens of follow-up questions race to my tongue.
“I ran into her a few nights before the big day.” Cian’s voice deepens when he talks about Harper. “She was drunk at a bar in Midtown. She told me she couldn’t go through with it.”
The thought of Harper drunk and alone at a bar somewhere, struggling under the weight of our world, sends guilt twisting through my heart.
While she tried to drown her woes over an apparently unwanted engagement, I was cursing her for having the nerve to marry Finn.
Somehow, I know Cian edited a lot of the story. He exhales as though he already regrets sharing as much as he has.
“I won’t tell anyone,” I promise him. “She missed a check in day with me, and now my texts get bounced. I’m worried.”
Cian gives me a sidelong glance. The concern in his eyes mirrors the same horrible, eerie sensation writhing in my gut.
The car growls to a halt at the gated entrance to the Gallagher estate. As the automatic ivory-covered wall pulls slowly apart, we share an silent, ominous exchange.
Then, like a curse, Cian’s phone shrills.
Rory.
Cian takes the call in silence. Two seconds pass before his eyes flash up like he’s been suckered in the gut.
Wide-eyed and enraged, Cian shifts back to me. “They’ve got Finn.”
Something snaps inside me. My heart crashes all the way to my toes and shatters.