Chapter One
The darkness was thick as we walked. It was as if I could have reached out and grabbed the blackness with my fingers, and it would have been a sheer, wet, cold fabric in my hands.
The entire forest was covered in it. I walked, forcing each of my aching feet to move back and forth in the same pattern, stepping on dirt, dried leaves, and small plants, just like I had earlier on my trek from the cave back to camp.
We were not silent as we walked. Our shuffling about and snapping of twigs and rustling of dead leaves shouted to any nearby hiker that we were coming.
Mary led the way; I followed her, and Shad trailed behind us both, bringing up the back in complete silence.
We walked for a few hours, and the darkness dissipated, clouds moved apart, unblocking the silver moon, and the trees thinned out.
Mary called for a break.
We sat down, and I shrugged off my backpack, watching Shad do the same.
I saw him in the moonlight as he drank from his water bottle.
His lips seemed to kiss the rim of the bottle, and I remembered that those same lips, just hours earlier, had been upon mine.
With those same lips, he had confessed his love and his feelings of love to me and had given me his heart.
I gulped and looked away as pain entered my soul, pulling out my own water bottle and taking slow, measured sips.
He had changed completely. That was not my Shad at all; he had become soulless.
“I think we have about eight miles left. We should be there around sunrise,” Mary said.
“Where are we going?” Shad asked, finally speaking. I honestly wondered why he hadn't asked that question hours earlier. I watched as he wiped water from his lips with the sleeve of his shirt.
“We are meeting up with Keil and Ryker down the mountain. Keil is a good friend of yours. I told you that, remember?” Mary asked.
“I don’t understand what’s going on. You are not giving me enough information, why?” Shad glared at the two of us.
“It would be best if Keil explained it all to you, like I said before,” Mary said with a sad smile that I could barely make out in the darkness.
“How do I know you two haven’t captured me and are taking me away somewhere to murder me?” he asked.
I choked on my water as I tried not to laugh an aching laugh. That was absurd. “Capture you?” I said, instead. “If we wanted to do that, wouldn’t you be handcuffed or something?” I asked.
“We are in the middle of a forest at night. You need not handcuff me. I would go willingly because it’s better with the two of you than on my own to become some beast’s meal.” He folded his arms.
I wondered how we all appeared to him. I mean, I, for one, was covered in blood, so I looked like I could have just murdered someone. I am the real beast in this forest, I thought. I looked up to see him staring at me–as if reading my mind.
“And this one,” he said, motioning toward me with his free hand. “Blood covers almost every inch of her. How do I not know that this person, Keil—you say is my friend—was not murdered by her in that blasted cave?”
“I would never!” I started, but Mary cut me off.
“It seems you have two choices: you can either trust us and come with us or be left out here, alone, to fend for yourself, and I can assure you that there are bears and mountain lions on this mountain, and we are friendlier than both.”
Unless this monstrous beast inside me is let loose.
I gave a shudder at the thought. I looked to Mary, who, I could tell, was fed up with the questions she couldn’t answer.
I could understand, however, why he was asking them, of course—I mean, he was with two people who he didn’t remember, and he was in a place, a forest, where he had no memory of traveling through.
His earliest memory was being in extreme pain, right beside me.
My heart hurt again, and I wondered if he associated me with pain.
“Fine, I will continue on with you,” he said, putting his backpack back on. “However, if you try to kill me, I will put up an excellent fight, and I know neither of you would survive it.”
I rolled my eyes, and Mary nodded, putting her backpack on.
I guess our break is over.
I put my pack back on as well and followed Mary again. Shad, once again, trailed behind us.
“Are you done yet?” I was resting on a fallen tree, taking a long drink from my water bottle when I looked at Shad. His anger was clear in the lines around his eyes and mouth. His face looked wrong as he scowled at me.
Everything is wrong now, I thought. From Mary’s calculations, we had only one more hour left of that death hike. I will never hike again.
Shad continued his anger toward both Mary and me.
He knew that we were hiding something from him, which wasn’t wrong–but wasn’t right, either.
Neither of us believed that we were the best people to tell him that his twin brother had stolen his soul and that he would never be the same—unless I somehow found a miracle and saved him.
Also, Shad was a fairytale prince, trapped here in Earth's realm because of my uncle. I sighed and tried to remind myself that Keil would do an excellent job of explaining things. Keil had known him the longest. Shad’s scowl was still there on his perfect face as I glanced up at him.
I hated how he looked so much like my Shad, and yet, so altered.
Part of me didn’t recognize him in the soft glow of the sunrise, especially with those black eyes. I missed the gold.
“You know, if you keep making faces like that, your face may just get stuck that way.” I leaned against the log, trying to act like his presence didn’t make me want to collapse into his arms and have him hold me as I cried and begged him to remember me.
I was doing a halfway decent job, in my opinion, because I was still on the log and not in his arms.
“Yeah, that’s so funny; I can’t stop the laughter,” Shad rolled his eyes—he actually rolled his eyes at me. “Get down. We are going.” That glare was still ever-present on that still beautiful, and wonderful face of his. I, honestly, did wonder, for a moment, if it really was stuck that way.
“Okay,” I said, putting my water back into my pack.
As I walked across the fallen tree, Shad’s eyes upon me made me nervous.
I looked up for one second and lost my footing.
I slipped but happily found myself in Shad’s outstretched arms. He smelled normal, like mint and leather, and I couldn’t help but rest my face against his shoulder as he set me down on my feet.
I could almost imagine the old Shad, the one I loved—until he spoke, ruining my fantasy.
“Not only are you the most useless person—but also, the most irritating,” he snarled as he let go of me.
“Excuse me?” I replied, anger evident in my tone.
It bubbled up way too quickly, and the monster within me wanted a bite out of him.
She needed to sink her teeth into something.
I walked up to Shad and tugged his shirt collar, pulling him so that he was right in my face. “Me, useless? Me, irritating?”
“Yes, that is what I said. You and her—” he added, pointing to Mary. “Won’t give me any answers, and here we are, hiking aimlessly around some forest, on top of a mountain, and still, I’ve got nothing.” He looked at me.
I felt the smokiness of anger and hatred build and boil within me. Remember who you hate: Cade, not Shad. Cade did this to him; this is Cade’s fault. I repeated it over and over again, attempting to tame the monster who was raging a war within me:
I hate Cade.
I hate Cade.
I hate Cade.
“Hello? Anyone home?” I felt a slight flick on my right cheek and realized that I had closed my eyes to refocus myself.
I opened them and grabbed Shad’s hand, the one I assumed had just flicked me, and I pushed his arm back and down in a direction that it shouldn't go. Anger was raging inside of me.
He cried out, and I pulled away, surprised. His cry was not the sound that I wanted to hear. He wasn’t the person I wanted to hurt. I looked at him, and he twisted his arm away, moving it back and forth, checking it.
“What is wrong with you?” he asked as he realized his arm was fine.
I was not fine, however. How did I just do that? How did I just hurt the man I love?
“You are—you are—Just stay away from me,” I spat, trying to find the right words.
“I would love to do that,” he frowned. “But you are one of two people who I am stuck with right now.” He got close to me, so close that I could see my reflection in the blackness of his soulless eyes.
“Just leave me alone,” I whispered as I stepped away.
There was no use in fighting—It just made everything worse.
I tried to calm myself and forget about the hate that was burning within me.
I just wanted Shad back, I just wanted his melody restored.
Is that really too much to ask for? I thought.
Was it really too much for me to ask that something in my life go right for a change?
For something to actually work out? I really don’t think that it is too much.
“Just tell me where we are and what is going on, and then I will,” he growled at me as my melody stretched out from me to him, searching for his soul’s melody to chase away the darkness.
“If you hadn’t been such a stupid hero—” my voice cracked, betraying me.
“Now, there we are. I am—a hero?” His brow rose; I looked away. He walked closer to me and touched my chin, turning my face to look into his dead eyes.
I didn't miss the spark that I felt within his touch and was relieved that it was still there between us. At least, Cade didn't take that. I stared into his soulless, black eyes and wanted to cry at the loss of the gold I had fallen in love with.
“Keep going,” he coaxed. I moved away until he wasn’t touching me. I didn’t want to hurt him.
“You did something stupid—to save me,” I said, a tear falling from my cheek. He looked at my eyes and my face again. His thumb pressed against the wetness there and rubbed. He pulled his hand away and looked at me. My soul was ringing around us. The monster inside was gone for a moment.
“Why would I save you?” he asked, looking confused for a time, and then a flicker of an idea seemed to float to him, “Because you are so beautiful?” he whispered. I could feel his breath on my cheek, and I tried to keep my breaths even.
He still thinks positive thoughts about me? I wondered.
“Because you are an idiot,” I answered, walking past him, needing to break the spell.
“Tell me, please, I want to know what happened. Who am I—who am I to you?” I felt his hand on my arm; then he tugged me closer.
“Please, I am so confused.” He shook his head.
“Who are you?” he whispered as he caressed my cheek.
I wanted to stand there forever with his soft electric touch upon my skin and his whispers in the surrounding air between us.
“I—I can't, I am so sorry,” I said as I turned and ran away from him, needing to make certain that I would not hurt him again.