Chapter Eleven #3
I felt her melody asking a thousand questions: Who I was? What was I doing there? and Why did I make her feel things? I tried to push the emotions she was feeling away. She had no idea how to control her feelings within her melody, it seemed.
As she took my hand, an electric current flowed from me to her and then back again, and I wanted to never let her go.
She made me feel whole, complete. I stared into her face; I knew that she was ‘the one’ from the moment I felt her melody, but it all still baffled me—still amazed me, that I had found her, that I had actually found her.
I had a soul song. Her emotions, again, came at me rather strongly, and I tried to block them, aware that she didn’t understand what she was doing.
It was hard, however, because my melody wanted everything that she was sharing.
I noticed then the small plant she had bent down to pick from the lawn.
I was expecting some beautiful flower, but it was a puff of a thing.
My melody swarmed; then it became louder and stronger as I thought about the years that I had waited for that moment, about the roses, about the prophecy, and about her.
“I—I Can’t believe it,” I said, unable to control myself.
“Believe what?” she asked.
You—are—” I shook my head; it was not how I wanted it, our first conversation, to go.
I touched her hair and tried to fight the urge to pull her into my arms and bond with her right there.
That was the worst idea, and it would have scared her away for good; she wasn’t mine, and although I wanted to be hers and I wanted her to be mine, it wasn’t so. Not yet.
‘He’s mine,’ so clearly, I heard the words from her melody within my soul. I tried to control my surprise, but she jumped away from me as if that thought had frightened her.
‘I found you—’ I said through my melody, trying to regain my focus and control over my melody, but failing.
‘I am not who he thinks I am,’ her thoughts, again, crystal clear inside my soul.
They made me want to fall at her knees and beg her to let me be hers, to let me follow her forever.
I pushed that thought away. I wished that I could explain, that I could make her understand that I had been searching for her for decades before she was even ever born.
I had been waiting for her. I would always wait for her.
Shad’s memory faded, but I didn’t want to leave it with all of the feelings and memories it brought to me about how wonderful Shad was. I did leave it, however, and I awoke to sobs that were my own.
Ryker was there beside me on my bed, and I wanted to hit him for not being Shad, but that would have just made me more of a jerk.
“Emma, you okay?” Ryker’s sleepy voice asked me as I sat up and turned to look out the window.
“I had another memory.”
“That is good, isn’t it?” he asked, sitting up, too. I turned to look at him.
Why does he look so happy? Just a few hours ago, wasn’t he telling me that Shad was a waste of time? Wasn’t he just telling me to find someone else? What does he care about my desire to save Shad?
“Em, I care about what you care about,” he said, reading my emotions from my melody with his knight abilities. I assumed z He rubbed my back, and I just looked out the window.
I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to hang onto that memory of Shad’s for a bit longer. “
Is it a helpful memory?” Ryker asked after a few minutes of silence.
“It helped me,” I whispered. He nodded as if he understood. He could probably read the disappointment in my melody, still not knowing how I would save Shad, and yet also the joy of seeing him again.
“I am glad it helped, Emma.”
I looked him directly in the eyes for the first time that early morning. I didn’t believe him.
“Emma, come on, I want you to be happy. Of course, I want that, but maybe Shad isn’t what would make you happy.”
“He makes me happy, Ry,” I said with a snap.
“He seems to make you very sad lately.”
“He sacrificed himself for me, Ryker. He is in this mess because of me.” I let the guilt manifest itself through salty tears for a few minutes.
“He would want you to be happy, Em. He would want you to live your life.”
“Ry, please, just stop.” I closed my eyes and let a whimper out.
“Okay, I am sorry–gah. I don’t know what to do anymore.” He tangled his hands in his hair in frustration.
“Just be my friend, and stop telling me to give up on him. I love him, and I will do everything I can to help him.”
“Okay, I will try. I just cannot help but want to make you happy, and I know he makes you sad right now–because he is a soulless.”
I nodded. I could understand where he was coming from. “I am sorry I said I hated you,” I whispered, looking at him. He reached out and touched my hand.
“You don’t have to apologize, Em.”
“I could never hate you, Ry.”
“I know, Em. I know.” His smile was true in the moonlight's glimmer.
I leaned back down on my pillow.
“Goodnight, Ry,” I whispered. I heard him move and figured that he was laying back down, too.
“Goodnight, Em.”