Chapter 13 #2
Those words spun around me and wouldn't leave. I wished that they were true, but how could they be? Me? I am not strong. I am weak, but that doesn't matter because I hate, and hate is stronger; hate can do many things. I have seen the power that it holds. I know; I know that I shouldn’t be thinking like this, but the monster, she saved me on top of that mountain when Shad had swatted my hand away. If I hadn’t had that hatred given from the monster to keep me walking on, so that eventually I could kill Cade, would I have just collapsed and remained there until something wild caught my scent and killed me?
The monster, I understood her. She was bad, but she was also so strong; her power was so alluring to me.
It really isn’t fair that I lost my parents in a horrific car accident. It isn’t fair that my entire life has been a lie. It also isn’t fair that my best friend is a magical knight assigned to protect me, and that the boy I love is a soulless person. No, my life isn’t fair.
Mary was attempting to force me into a normal life again. But the time for that had long ago passed. I had been there and done that, or well, I tried, and it was useless.
I, Emma Warren, will never have a normal human earth life.
Others might say that I was destined for bigger and greater things.
It might have been true. If I could have had Shad at my side, I knew that I could do anything, but the Shad who was still with us, wasn’t the Shad I fell in love with.
I needed to save him. No matter what Ryker or Ash seemed to believe, I had to have hope that I could save Shad, even if no soulless had ever been saved before.
I wanted vengeance. I wanted to kill Cade.
He was pure evil, pure corruption, as all the Terrans had said, and after all: Evil should die.
He thinks others’ pains are funny, and he mocks those from whom he takes happiness.
His corrupted grin and laughter make my blood boil in rage, and my monstrous beast and I want to find him and tear him apart.
The beast inside, the hollowness I felt, roared at that thought, and I smiled because I knew if I was patient enough, I would find Cade, and I would get the revenge that I needed in order to move on with my life and become happy, finally be free.
Maybe, there was a better way to free myself, but maybe not. Maybe to kill the beast that was inside of me, I needed to kill the person who created it—Cade.
Maybe the monster will die with him.
Keil told me that Cade had not left Earth.
He might just show up out of the blue.
I hoped that he would so that I could rip his heart out of his chest, just as he had done to me when he stole Shad’s soul.
There were reports of Terrans hearing Shad’s melody.
Regardless of what was holding him back or why he had not left, his hesitation to leave Earth was a positive for me. I would find him, and I would end him.
“Have I mentioned yet how glad I am that you are back?!” Ash said with a smile and a hug as I walked onto campus.
It was a cold, dark day, and I was happy about it—happy because it was fall, the season of death and dying.
It meant that nature would not mock my pain with its sunshine any longer.
I would be equals with the grey clouds and the dead leaves.
As I looked at Ash, I wondered more than ever about her and Glasson.
I ached to know more about that world which was so foreign to me, and yet such a huge part of who I was, who we both were.
"Thanks, Ash, I wish I could say it is good to be back,” I smirked at her, then frowned. I'd find a good time to ask her more about Terra, eventually, but I was sure that the first day back at school was not the time.
“Feeling a little gloomy today?” she asked, stepping away from me to look at all of me.
I knew that I looked odd. Well, odd to her.
I wore black pants and a black top. It wasn’t a crazy outfit, but being the beginning of the school year, I usually tried hard.
At that point, I didn’t really care, and all-black really did fit my mood that morning; still, perhaps she could sense the dark parts of my melody like Keil said people would, even with my crystal about my neck.
My insides squirmed. I couldn't let anyone see the monster.
I tried to hide her deeper inside of me.
“I am in the mood for new clothes,” she said as she looped my arm through hers.
Ash had texted me that morning, telling me that she would be waiting out front for me.
I decided I wasn't going to ride with Ryker and Shad. It was just a little too painful. I didn't want to be in close proximity to them, till I knew how to act. Especially, if I really couldn’t steal kisses from Shad, which I was hoping to do every once in a while, but if it could darken my soul, I didn’t want to risk it, right?
I mean the monster was still there. It seemed that I needed more convincing that it wasn't worth stealing kisses. However, the more I thought about it, the more clear it became that Ryker had been right about that. I knew that I wouldn’t be any use to Shad if I became corrupt and soulless, too.
Ugh, stupid Ryker is always right, always telling me the hard truth.
I wanted to curse him for that, but deep down, I knew that Ryker was my reality check, and I needed that.
When Ryker texted me that he would be driving Shad to and from school because he was a soulless, it was hard to fathom both of them together like that, but it seemed that soulless Shad and Ryker actually got along.
That was odd. I still had so many feelings to figure out where they both were concerned.
Shad was the man I loved, and he barely even knew who I was, and there was Ryker, who knew me inside and out because he had been required to be my friend since I was born.
I didn't know if Ryker really had ever been my true friend. I mean, I know it kinda ended up that way, at least, I hoped it had. Regardless, I did know that I cared for him, and I also knew that he cared for me. Did it really matter how we came together? Ryker had always been warmth for me. Hadn’t I once, as a little girl, dreamt of kissing my best friend?
Yes, I had. While his kisses stirred up what I thought was once dead inside of me, I knew that Shad was it–the one.
It was wrong to let Ryker kiss me when I was so vulnerable, and he was half drugged in that hospital.
What was my excuse? Well, his warmth made the shadows and sadness fall away from me just enough to where I could breathe again.
I had kissed his face, too, also his cheek and forehead—I was so grateful that he was whole.
I couldn't help but feel like I had betrayed Shad, betrayed his love, and that made me sick inside.
But what I felt for Ryker wasn't the same as what I felt for Shad.
I loved them both, but not in the same way.
“Oh my heck, there he is!” Ash said.
I looked around and didn't see anything. Then I looked at Ash and her violet eyes. I followed her line of sight, and I saw a boy sitting on one of the steps of the school. There were other kids around, as usual, talking and walking, but he sat alone. He had muddy brown hair and dark brown—no black–eyes, so dark and rich, and I shuddered just staring at him. He reminded me of a soulless. He was extremely attractive. I could understand Ash’s allure toward him, but he was no Shad; still, he was a good looking guy.
“That guy?” I said, nodding my head in his direction.
“Yes, can you believe it? He just moved here two weeks ago, and he is in my chemistry class. He is so–you know–Emma, like seriously.”
“He is nice to look at,” I said with a smirk. Ash gently nudged my side with her elbow, which made me shake my head.
“We hung out a bit. His eyes are, like, so gorgeous, dark and fathomless, and his eyelashes are so long.
Sometimes, when he is talking to me, I just stare at them.
Like, why do boys have long lashes anyway; it's not fair, I swear.
Also, when I first met him, I totally thought he had eyeliner on, but guess what, he doesn't! That's just how his eyes are! I swear, he is the most gorgeous boy I have ever seen,” she sighed.
I noticed that while she was speaking, and very animatedly so, the guy we had been discussing, started walking over to us.
I reached out to stop her from saying anything more so that he wouldn't overhear her gushing.
“Hey, Ash,” he said with a smile that made Ash smile back automatically.
“Hey, Aiden, this is my best friend, Emma. She is totally amaze,” she added. Aiden’s eyes locked onto mine, and he smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Emma.”
“You, too. I have heard good things.”
“Ash has a rather unique personality. I like unique personalities,” he smirked at her, and she shoved him with her shoulder. His eyes smiled as he watched her. Wow, she seemed to have it bad for him, but it appeared that he had it bad for her, too. That was sweet, I was happy for her.
“Ash said you took a little vacation over the past two weeks,” Aiden said, looking up at me.
“Yeah, it was nice. It's been a difficult year,” I gulped.
“Well, that’s good, that you gotta break. My parents would never let me do that.”
I watched as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
At least he has parents, I thought and quickly moved away from that train of thought.
“Yeah, well, thanks for being a friend to Ash while I was away.”
“No problem,” he smiled but looked at Ash as he did.
I watched as he smirked at her, and she shoved his shoulder.
He took a step back, and it was then that I noticed that he was wearing a necklace around his neck, some stone, I think at the end, blue or black; I could not tell.
I had not seen many guys wearing jewelry.