Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Miss Warren.”
I quickly snapped my head up to look at the person who was speaking. It was my teacher. How long had I been sitting there, staring off into nothing? I looked around, and the tan colored desks with their navy blue chairs were empty. I heard the loud chatter of voices in the hall.
“Oh, sorry, Mr. Andrews.” I quickly shuffled out of the room, feeling like an idiot. As I walked down the hall, I wondered again about Cade—wondered how I was going to steal Shad’s melody back from him.
If I take back the crystal, which holds the melody, will we really be able to put the melody back inside of Shad'?
I mean, I knew that was the plan, that was the general idea, but what if it didn't work?
That thought made my stomach churn. I needed to figure out what exactly would undo Cade enough to get him to give it to me.
How would I steal it? I knew that those were dangerous thoughts to have at school where I was the worst at shielding my soul, but I couldn't help what my mind thought up, could I?
I quickly pushed the monster out of the cage to conceal my thoughts, so that my melody would disappear.
It worked like a charm. I looked up as I reached the door to math class.
I realized that I had been so deep in thought that my body brought me there automatically, like I was on autopilot.
Beside the door, I saw two students kissing.
They really should have found a better place for that.
As I grabbed the handle, I heard a groan in the couple's direction.
When I looked to where they had been, I saw Shad cradling his own face in his hands, covering his ears beside Karen.
My heart cracked. Had I just seen—is that—were Shad and Karen the ones I just saw in the hallway?
I felt like someone had just tramped all over my heart.
I was shattered all across the hallway floor.
“What's wrong, Shad?” Karen asked, looking all concerned. I wanted to punch her in the face. He wasn’t her concern at all.
Shad righted himself. He stood, glaring at Karen.
She slipped her hand into his, but I felt a small amount of joy when he removed his hand from hers and put it in his pocket.
He looked at me with confusion on his face; it was as if he didn’t understand who I was, but he knew there was something between us whenever he saw me.
I wanted to vomit and to cry and to run away, and I wanted to yell at him—I wanted to—
The warning bell rang, and Karen and Shad came to the door, but I stood between them and their access to the classroom.
“What’s going on?” I asked with my hands on my hips, unable to hold back anymore. That was not Shad. This is not my Shad. He would have never kissed someone else. Those must be the changes that Ryker had been referring to a few days earlier at lunch.
“What does it look like, Emma? Shad is dating me now.” She kissed his cheek, as if that were sheer proof, but Shad was staring at me, a confusion upon his brow, and a frown on his mouth, that mouth that had just been on Karen’s. I was going to be sick. That mouth was mine.
“Shad?” I asked, looking into his dark black eyes for something, for one speck of golden hope. Nothing.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Karen is pretty cool.”
“Pretty cool?”
“Yeah, she is, and she wants to kiss me.” I stepped back, and my back hit the door.
He was dating her because she wanted to kiss him?
Heck, I wanted to kiss him. We could kiss if that is all he wanted.
Forget my corrupted soul; What is he doing?
Is he still mad at me for not telling him everything; Is this payback?
“I want to kiss you,” I said in a whisper.
“He is mine now, so I will be the only one who kisses him.” Karen placed her hands on her hips.
I wanted to—I wanted to—
Calm down, Emma, do not think violent thoughts. After all, this isn’t Shad. He doesn’t really like Karen, I told myself.
“Karen, you know, how about you get to class?”
“No,” she said in anger.
Shad turned to her, and said: “go.”
She sighed, and so elegantly walked to the door, bumping into me for good measure. I stepped aside.
As the door closed, I walked over to Shad and pulled on his not dress-shirt, taking him with me into the girl’s bathroom.
He was laughing the entire time. This is different.
That was not Prince Shad of Embra; it wasn't even a confused Shad, a Shad who was disappointed or feeling let down. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t irritated.
This Shad, I don't know him at all. Had he changed overnight?
Had I been so distracted that I had not noticed the change in him?
But Ryker had warned me, hadn't he? It was like Shad didn't care about anything at all.
As I shoved him against the tiled wall, he was still indifferent.
I was seething, glaring at him, wanting to punch him in the face.
He was acting like Cade, and I hated it.
Violence check, Emma!
“Oh, Emma, so you do understand what I want?”
I looked into his eyes and double-checked that he wasn’t Cade.
He wasn’t.
“What do you want?” I asked, seething.
“You know, don’t be shy.”
“Shut up, will you?” I said, restraining myself from both kissing him and slapping him. “No girls.”
He pushed off the wall, moving my hands from off of him. “‘No girls’? Sorry, Emma. Whatever we had was cool and all, but ‘no girls’ just doesn't work for me.” He put his hands into his pockets and leaned against the bathroom mirror.
“Well, I don't care if it doesn't ‘work for you.’ You need to stop.” I poked a finger into his chest. The electric flow numbed me for a split second, and I pulled away.
“I don’t want to,” he glared at me.
“You don’t even like Karen. You don't know her. You are hurting me and her for no reason.”
“She’s pretty enough. Why would I have to know someone in order to kiss them? I mean, no, she’s no you, but you are a little high strung, and you don’t want me.”
“Excuse me? High strung? I don’t want you?!” I squeaked.
“You know you say that phrase a lot: ‘excuse me’.”
“That’s because the things you say are insane, and I have to check to make sure you are really saying these ridiculous things that are coming out of your mouth.”
He put his shoulder against the mirror and the blue tiled wall and folded his arms across his chest. “So, you don’t want to make out right now? Cause I don’t know how much longer I can go here—”
I wanted to scream, ‘yes, of course,’ but I couldn't. Could I? Should I? No, I can’t; the corruption—
“No, I—do—don’t right now—and gross, Shad; this is a bathroom,” I said, faking disgust because I knew I would kiss him any time and anywhere.
“Yes, and we are alone. No one would even see us. You thought up a perfect solution to our problem.”
“Solution? What problem is that Shad?”
“I figured it out on your birthday. Yes, you want me; I want you, and here we are—together. I won’t tell anyone you are with me, a soulless, if that’s what’s holding you back. You are right, I don’t care about that girl—only you. But you were avoiding me, I needed to get your attention.”
My attention? He thought that was what was holding me back, him being a soulless? He was insane. The biggest reason for my hesitation was the corruption. I couldn’t afford any more corruption than I already had.
“Shad, I am not going to make out with you, not because you are a soulless. I am not going to kiss you because you are a jerk who just kissed Karen Manning! That isn’t how you should go about getting my attention!”
“Emma, are you telling me that you dragged me into the bathroom just to talk?” he looked confused.
“Yes, Shad.”
“That’s a waste,” he sighed and combed some fingers through his hair. “Look, I have to do what I have to do.”
“I will save you, and once I do that, you are going to hate yourself for everything you are doing.”
“Hate myself? That seems really unproductive.”
“I love you, Shad. I want you to get better, to be yourself. What you are doing isn’t you; it isn’t the boy I love. It’s destructive, and it hurts the people who care about you.”
He shrugged and moved to the door. “Are we done here? I mean, unless—” He raised one brow.
“Ugh,” I faked disgust, and it seemed as if he wasn’t buying it.
“Emma, I am here, waiting, but until then, I have to fill this void.”
“Void?” I was confused.
“It is a Soulless thing. I have needs, Emma, and if you are not able to meet them—”
“You need to kiss Karen?” I asked, placing hands on my hips in disbelief.
He shrugged, “It doesn't have to be her—” He walked closer to me so that my back was against a bathroom stall door.
Why is everyone always cornering me? I needed to notice when things started in order to prevent them in the future. I put my hands on his chest, and the electric flow buzzed between us. His eyes, so dark, were on mine. “I would rather it be you—” he said softly “I need you.”
My heart melted.
Maybe just one little kiss wouldn't hurt.
He leaned his mouth down an inch away from mine. I could smell his familiar scent of mint and leather, and I wanted to breathe him in forever. But before his mouth could reach mine, he moaned, bent down, and rested his head on my shoulder as if in pain. I immediately put my hands on his waist.
“Shad, are you okay?” I asked as he squinted his eyes in pain.
“It hurts so bad,” he groaned and held my sides tight with his grip. His body was heavy in my arms, but I did my best to hold him there, wondering what could be going on with him.
“What is happening?”
“Keil said—” His breaths were heavy, and each word seemed labored, “this—would—happen,” he said, again groaning and gripping the sides of my shirt in his hands even tighter.
“Tell me what I need to do; let me help you.” I hadn't realized until that moment that I was crying. Tears were silently streaming down my face. I didn't want to see him in pain, no matter who he had just kissed.