Chapter 30 #2
“I guess, I understand why. I mean I am the bad guy, right?
Well, as far as your limited knowledge is concerned, I am the bad guy, but I wonder, Emma, what if I wasn't the actual bad guy in all of this?” He stood up from the couch he was sitting on and walked over to me, kneeling beside me.
He moved the water bottle out of my hands as he took my hands in his.
“Cade,” I started, but he moved his mouth to my fingers and kissed the tip of each one, his warm, brown eyes locked onto mine.
I tried to ignore the warmth that I felt.
This was only the result of him having Shad’s melody.
That was all it was. It was from the connection between my melody and Shad’s melody.
But there was a feeling of slight peace.
It wasn’t the blazing, electric power that Shad’s touch had once brought to me, but there was something in Cade’s touch; it made me feel sick as I came to understand that he could actually touch me tenderly, and that I wouldn’t always shudder when he did.
What does that say about me?
“I want you to know who I am, Emma. I am not the heartless monster that you assume me to be.” He moved my hands from his lips, finally, making my head less pressured with the confused fog of guilt and shame.
“You killed my parents,” I said in a whisper. “I cannot forgive you for that.”
He dropped his head down into his hands, letting mine go as he did. I watched as he pulled at his hair tightly, the blueish, black strands slipping through his fists.
“I swear to you, Emma, I did not kill them—nor did I want them dead.”
“I don’t believe you.” I stood; I needed to be away from him. He was toxic, and I didn’t want to be close to him. I didn't know where exactly I needed to go, but I needed space between us, space to think.
“Let me show you then. Let me into your melody, and I can show you my soul. A soul cannot lie, Emma.”
I turned to look at him, confused.
“What? Your soul? No, that is Shad’s soul.” I spun around in anger, and the monster was just near the edge, just over the ridge, and the shields which I had put up were crumbling down within my hatred and fury. It didn't seem to scare him, though, because he only came closer.
“Does your knight know about this little monster of corruption inside of you, sweet?”
I flinched.
“Don’t,” I warned him as my hands started to fist, and my nails dug into my flesh. I tried not to growl, but a noise came out anyway.
“He fancies you, you know. It's cute, his little infatuation with you. He thinks he can save you, help you, but only I can help you, Emma.” He moved closer to me.
“You don't know anything about Ryker and me.”
He raised his eyebrows in amusement.
“I promise you, sweetheart, I know way more than you do. I'll share all of the secrets being kept from you, if you share yours with me.”
“You stole Shad's soul; you murdered my family; you beat Ryker near to death,” I growled at him, my breaths came in rigid as my melody hid inside of me. The monster was in full control.
“Oh, sweet, there really are so many things you do not know.” He reached out for me as if in pity, and I shoved him. Surprised, he moved away almost a foot. I looked at my hands.
“Yes, with corruption, there is power,” he smirked at me as if it was a joke. “But the corruption will ruin your melody, sweet. Trust me; I know.”
“Stop calling me that!” I screamed and picked up a side table throwing it at a picture. I watched as the glass shattered and shards cascaded across the carpets and the hardwood floor.
“That was my favorite print.”
I looked at him, and his eyes grew dark.
“Emma, you need to calm down. Listen to my melody; let yours out.”
I tried to ignore him, but his melody—Shad’s melody—had a way of making me forget things.
The monster slowly left, and my melody slowly came into the front.
I collapsed on the couch. And for a few moments, I closed my eyes and focused on the melodies between us, still making sure the important shields were up.
They were, and I breathed in relief that my temper tantrum hadn't cost me everything.
“If you let me, I can show you the memory I have of that night.”
I opened my eyes and looked out the window, wondering if I should give in to him.
It would work for the whole becoming friends and getting-close plan.
If it seemed like I was letting my guard down, he would let me get closer and closer, wouldn’t he?
I mean he wanted me physically close, right then, but that didn’t serve my purpose.
“Okay, but don’t push into my mind. I don’t want you in there.”
He lifted up his hands. “Of course, I will only give you the memory.”
I nodded; then I looked at my hands. They still felt tingles of warmth from his kisses.
The raw power I had felt from breaking that picture scared me.
I was frightened that possibly it was true, and that Cade had not killed my parents.
I was worried because if he did not do it, who did?
And who else did I need to hunt down to feast upon in my revenge?
I would worry about that at a later time.
At that moment, I needed to know if what he was saying was actually the truth.
It could be a trick. I was well aware of that.
Again, an audience, if watching my life as a movie, would have been screaming ‘Don’t do it!
’ However, besides everything, I wanted to know; I needed to know.
He walked over to me, to the couch. We sat facing each other.
“Okay, so I will show you the memory. Now, do not move.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked as his face moved closer to mine.
“I just need to be close to you. Holding you would be good, but kissing you would be the very best.”
I shoved his shoulder.
“Okay, no kissing yet; we will work up to that.”
I ignored him. I would not be kissing him ever.
I tried not to shove him off of me as he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck with his head; then he grazed his lips over my neck, and I stiffened.
“This will be easier if you let me loosen you up a bit,” he said, holding my waist in his firm hands.
“This is not loosening me up,” I said, pulling away. “If anything, it's making me more terrified and horrified each second.” I would need to take a long and very scalding hot shower when I got home.
“Okay, sorry. I will just hold you.”
I gave him a skeptical look. “I promise,” he said with a smirk. He wrapped his arms around me.
Now let me in, Emma.
This goes against everything in me.
What?
Letting you in.
I will not hurt you.
You already have.
Ah, but have I?
Then my mind was filled with pictures and images. It was hard to see them clearly at first, but then they puzzled themselves together.