Chapter Five
My heart pounded against my chest, my breaths shallow as I tried to not swallow roughly, refusing to press against the knife. Brett stood up from the ground, wavering on his feet. Part of me felt sympathy for the men, they felt they didn’t have another choice. But the other part was furious. I had convinced Murphy to let them into our camp and look where that led me.
“Grab as much as you can before someone comes back,” Matthew directed, still holding me tightly in his grip.
“I really am sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, but we need food and supplies.”
“And what about us?” I croaked, fear constricting my throat.
“You’ve had it easy out here. If you had stayed in town, you’d realize that it’s every man for themselves now.”
I wanted to scoff at his assumption that it was easy out here. By the fear in his voice, I could only assume that outside of the woods, the world was in chaos. But that didn’t mean we hadn’t been struggling to stay alive.
My eyes followed Brett as he tugged a crumpled bag from his back pocket, shoving the fish, meat, and the rest of the rice inside. However, he didn’t stop with the food, grabbing the pots and few pieces of silverware we had.
In the moment, I was thankful that no one else was here. That meant that at least our hunting knife, guns, and fishing supplies were away. At least once they left, we’d still have a way to get food, even if we no longer would have a way to cook it except straight over the fire.
“Grab the clothes. We may need those,” Matthew instructed before asking me, “do you have any medicine?”
I bit my lip, knowing that the little medical supplies we still had, we needed. He shook my shoulder when I didn’t respond, pressing the knife a little harder against my throat.
“Do you have any?”
Gathering all the courage I could muster, I answered no. The rest of the supplies were underneath a log, kept there in a sock to protect them from possible rain. As long as they didn’t start turning over every log within the vicinity, they would never know I was lying.
Several minutes passed, although it felt like hours, and finally the two men seemed satisfied. Our camp looked like we had never been here to begin with, the only sign of our presence the upturned logs and the embers of the dying fire.
“Close your eyes. We don’t need you seeing where we’re going and sending someone to follow us,” Matthew said, and I followed his instructions, my eyes snapping shut.
I waited for his body to leave my back and once I felt the distance between us, a deep breath of relief left me. I was alive. Refusing to open my eyes, I waited for the sound of their retreat, but instead of footsteps against the dirt, I heard the unmistakable sound of someone cocking a gun.
“I’d drop that knife right now if I were you,” Rainer’s deep voice sounded and my eyes sprung open, my body spinning around.
Matthew dropped the knife at his side, his hands gliding into the air as Rainer trained the gun on him. I wanted to be shocked that Rainer had managed to sneak up on all three of us, but I wasn’t. The man was one with the woods, creeping silently amongst the trees as if he had lived here his entire life.
“We didn’t mean any harm. We just needed food,” Matthew pleaded, Brett creeping back and toward the tree line surrounding the clearing.
“No harm?” Rainer laughed humorlessly. “That’s what we’re calling holding a knife to someone’s throat these days?”
Matthew gulped, all color leaving his face, fear permeating through the air. I wondered if that was how I looked moments before. Weighing his options, trying to decide the best course of action for his survival.
“Please,” Matthew begged, and Rainer grinned maliciously.
“Leave now. And if you come back, there won’t be a conversation.”
The intimidating tilt of the gun was explanation enough for his words. Matthew nodded eagerly, stepping past Rainer and taking off into the woods, leaving his friend behind. I guess what he said was true, it was every man for themselves.
“I’m giving you the same option. Drop everything and leave.” Rainer glanced toward Brett, who was nearly in the trees at this point, refusing to lower his gun.
Brett dropped everything, most of it spilling out of his bag and onto the dirt before racing after his friend. Relief spread through me when they were departed, knowing that not only was I safe, but that we still had all of our things. However, that relief was short-lived when Rainer turned his glare on me.
“I told Murphy he was an idiot for listening to you. Why would you think this was a fucking good idea?” Rainer stomped toward the dropped belongings as he ranted, cursing under his breath at the rice that was spread throughout the dirt.
Spinning back toward where I stood, he continued berating me. “What were you going to do if I didn’t show up? Let them take all our stuff?”
“Would you have rather they slit my throat?” I finally said, anger coursing through my veins, my fists clenching.
“One less mouth to feed. It’s not like you do anything around here anyway.” Rainer stared me down, refusing to flinch as his cruel words hit me right in the chest.
By the way he continued to glare at me, I knew he meant his words wholeheartedly. He would rather have saved the food than me.
“Rainer,” Murphy’s tight tone came from behind me.
I wasn’t sure when he showed up, moving as quietly through the woods as Rainer, but I was positive he heard the last statement. Glancing over my shoulder, Murphy frowned at his friend, uncomfortable with the words he spewed.
“We all know it’s true. No one else has the nerve to say anything, but I’m tired of busting my ass to make sure the princess survives.”
Murphy opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “It’s okay, Murphy. He’s right.”
My gaze bounced between the two for one more moment, their eyes locked in a stare, before I spun on my heel and started heading toward the creek. I needed a moment away from Rainer and his cruel, yet true, words. As well as a moment to collect myself from the interaction with the strangers.
Now that the adrenaline was beginning to fade, the startling reality that I could have been killed was at the forefront of my mind. Maybe what Matthew had said was true, we did have it easy out here. Besides the struggle for food, I could convince myself that we were all on a long camping trip. Of course, that would be easier to believe if the nightmares of my father’s death didn’t wake me up each night.
When I reached the creek, I toed off my shoes, sinking my feet into the chilled water. It was only June, so the running water was still crisp, too cold to fully submerge. Tilting my head up toward the sky, I closed my eyes, allowing the sun to soak into my skin.
“Mind if I join you?” A voice said from behind me.
Looking over my shoulder, I spotted Murphy sliding off his shoes, his movements disrupting the flow of the water as he stood beside me.
For a while, the two of us stood in silence, neither of us sure what to say. We simply enjoyed the tranquility of the moment. However, Murphy finally spoke, popping the bubble of quiet.
“He was scared. Worried. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you, though.”
I smiled sadly at him. “You don’t need to apologize for him.”
“Habit. I’ve been apologizing for him since we were ten. He likes to speak and act first, think later.”
Sighing, I debated telling Murphy why Rainer’s words hurt me, digging my toes into the soft mud beneath my feet.
“What he said wasn’t a lie. I’m useless out here. I can’t make a fire, I can’t fish, I can’t hunt. I mean, the twins even do more than me and they’re eight.”
Murphy was silent for so long that if I hadn’t felt his presence at my side, I would have thought he had left me out here. Turning toward him, he wore a pensive look on his face, his lips pursed and brows furrowed, deep in thought.
“Do you want to help?” He finally asked, and I was taken aback by the question.
Is that what they all thought? That I simply didn’t want to help? It’s not like I was oblivious to the work being done around me. But I didn’t know where I could fit in the makeshift community we had here.
“I’d like to stop being on the receiving end of so many glares,” I joked.
It was the best way I could admit that I did want to help without feeling embarrassed. There was no doubt I didn’t know what I was doing out here, but I still had pride in who I was, and anyone would be ashamed to blatantly admit how worthless they were.
“Then you can start coming with me to the radio tower. And on the way back, we can pick up firewood.”
Murphy smiled brightly, the rays of the sun beaming across his face. In that moment, for the first time, I realized how handsome he was. His shaggy brown hair that grew longer each day framed the strong lines of his face, his hazel eyes twinkling.
But even more than the sudden attraction, immense joy coursed through me at his understanding. He wasn’t going to tell me all the ways I could do better around camp, he was solely going to bring me into the fold.