Chapter 6
Kasey
I kept my eyes closed, my body as still and pliant as I could manage. It was easier that way. It’s easier to disappear into the quiet, easier to let myself drift somewhere from the room and the expectation waiting inside it.
Time slipped away again, the way it always did when I let myself go blank. Minutes, maybe hours, dissolved into nothing. I didn’t mind losing them. Losing time meant losing awareness, losing fear, and losing the sharp edges of everything I didn’t want to feel.
And judging by the way I was positioned now, I must have let myself drift for a long while.
Every part of me ached. Every part of my soul cried out for relief. Yet, the only thing I could do was hold myself in the form I was in. Arms stretched out along the bed near my head, knees drawn up, butt pushed upwards, showing off parts of me that I’d have blushed at ten years ago.
Now…. Well, now it was just skin and bones. It meant nothing to me. I was here to be whatever I needed to be. I was here to obey the Alpha whose hands ran up and down my spine, as though he were memorizing every scar that was carved into my soul.
And there were several of them. My back was littered with marks.
I didn’t need to open my eyes to know where I was. I didn’t need to listen, or breathe, or reach for any of my senses. My body already understood the space around me, the way it always did in rooms like this.
It was only my second time here, but that didn’t matter. Omegas were taught early what these rooms meant. What was expected? How to hold ourselves. How to stay still. How to follow every rule without hesitation.
We were trained for this. Trained to shape ourselves into whatever an Alpha wanted. Trained to obey before they even spoke.
Some of us learned fast. Some of us learned because we had no other choice. And some of us… learned to stop feeling anything at all.
I was one of those that stopped feeling. Feeling meant pain and despair. It meant losing all hope that there would be happiness ever after.
I wasn’t that naive little boy anymore. Haven’t been for years.
I knew what was happening on my eighteenth birthday. We all knew. I was just lucky enough to be marked a year younger than I was, hiding me from the outcome that was bound to happen either way.
It didn’t make things better, either. The knowing part was probably worse than pretending that everything was okay.
Because now, here I was, again, under a client that would use my body how he saw fit.
At least I’m already stretched and ready to go, I thought bitterly, sparks of memories of the past few days flickering through my brain.
I’d learned to sense the Alphas long before they spoke. The way the atmosphere tightened the way the air warmed, the way my body reacted even when my mind was far away. It was instant now, carved into me deeper than memory.
But this…if felt different.
Not sharper or colder. Not a heavy pressure I’d been trained to brace for.
The presence settled around me instead of over me, like a warm draft slipping under a closed door. Familiar in a way that made my chest ache, though I couldn’t find out why. My body recognized something that my mind couldn’t reach.
This Alpha was powerful; they all were. But he was…more.
I stopped a whine that wanted to come out of my chest, it’s noise quickly stuffing out as I shifted enough to push my butt higher. A silence gets it over with, and I’m ready and just leave me alone.
“…Perfect…. of me…. not…. right.” The Alpha’s words were too soft for me to pick up as one of his hands gently cupped one side of my butt. His palm was warm and smooth, fingers long enough to graze where the sun didn’t shine.
My body pressed against his palm, seeking more. More of what? I didn’t know. Just more.
Flashes of that same strange pull flickered behind my closed eyes; a familiar need threading through my veins before I could stop it.
Crap.
The thought hit me so hard; my entire body locked up for a full second before it remembered how to move again. My heart thudded too fast, too loud, as my mind latched onto the one thing I didn’t want to acknowledge.
I was given a single blue pill at some point today, if not two of them.
That medication had been given a few times since I turned sixteen. Each time a test to our willingness to not touch. A test to see how long we could go with being trained and not let our needs take over.
It had been nearly impossible to pass those tests.
And I was going to fail this time. I always did when I was so close to being in between hell and a darker hell.
“I won’t let anything happen to you again, Honeybee. I promise.”
The soft voice was barely above a whisper, just a breath of the wind. Yet, my mind latched on to it. I had to hold onto something before I fell over the edge that was creeping closer and closer.
When a finger swipe hit a sensitive spot right under my cheek, I pressed further out, searching for more. Searching for relief, I knew only an Alpha could give.
This would be a test of mind over need. And as the pill cursed through my veins, I knew my mind wasn’t going to win.
No amount of pain would detour the outcome.
“…. death of me….”
Words were at the tip of my tongue, but I held back from speaking to them. I bit down on my upper arm, letting the tiny bit of pain bleed through my need.
“Kasey.”
If I could, I’d gladly beg for this Alpha to take what he wanted from my body. To use me how he saw fit. I’d beg for release so I could go back to the nothingness.
I didn’t want to feel any more, but right now, that’s all I could do.
I felt the cloth of the Alpha’s pants rub along my inner thighs as he stepped closer to my body. I felt the heat of his palms as one stayed on my butt; the other ran up and down my back in a gentle, calming manner. I felt his breath as he debated with himself on what was the right thing to do.
He was a strange Alpha, to debate about rights and wrongs.
On any other day, I’d gladly tried to persuade him to leave me alone. I’d have taken it into my control to take care of his needs to where I wouldn’t come out on the other side more broken than I already was.
But that wasn’t today. Not with estrogen running through my veins and urging me on.
Shifting again, I pushed my butt further into the air so my hard cock couldn’t rub against the bedspread. Any touch at all was likely going to drain me dry, which in turn would cause this Alpha to be displeased with me.
Always make the Alpha happy, no matter what.
Yet another rule to add to the never-ending lists.
Breathing deep, I forced my own need to settle, to let it simmer under the surface instead of boiling and demanding attention.
The Alpha noticed. Of course he did.
I didn’t catch what he said, but he pulled back as though I was on fire.
My heart sank, feeling that deep seed of panic and disappointment wash over me like a tidal wave.
As quickly as I could, and less graceful than any Omega was capable of, I scrambled off the bed. My knees thunked against the carpeted floor as I slowly knee walked towards where the Alpha stopped. One glance up at his face was enough to let me know he wasn’t looking at me.
Good, I thought, as I reached him.
With deft fingers, I undid his pants and found him semi hard. Before he had a chance to fight, to rethink, I wrapped my lips around him.
“No…Kasey…oh God.”
One thing Omegas were good at was sucking a cock. Luckily for him, I had no gag reflux, even though it was my first time taking a real, human cock into my mouth.
He was salty, but ten times better than a flavored rubber cock that fit awkwardly in my mouth.
He didn’t fight me, although he didn’t push me against his pelvis like the handlers and teachers had us practice. Instead, it was slow.
His body at first was stiff, then slowly relaxed, letting me take control. One hand went to my hair but didn’t pull or push me where he wanted. He let me control the pace, let me take as much or as little as I wanted into my mouth.
Settling better, my body mostly leaning against his legs for support, I sucked his cock. My tongue swirled around the underside, causing him to jerk before a dot of precum escaped his tip.
“Kase…”
I breathed him in, pressing my nose to his hair, and taking him to the back of my throat.
It didn’t take long, maybe one or two swallows, before he exploded, coating my throat. I greedily drank it, sucking a few more just to make sure I got it all.
“Shit.” The Alpha pulled away, and my body swayed to stay where it was.
Panting, my own cock hard as a steel beam, I looked anywhere but at the Alpha.
He wasn’t happy. And rightfully so.
Omegas were to be quiet, to be used. Not to become some crazed sex addict on the first time an Alpha is to show kindness.
I wanted to apologize. I wanted to beg, to plead my case.
Instead, the only thing that came out was the air. My voice is gone with the wind, never to be seen or heard again.
“Sit on the bed, Kasey.” The order was given softly, almost in a way that caused my heart to flutter.
I did as order immediately.
The bedspread wasn’t soft, grating against my butt as I shifted. My feet dangled off the edge of the side, not close to touching the floor.
With my hands clasped in my lap, right below my hard cock, I kept my eyes anywhere, but where I needed to be touched.
“I…I didn’t tell you to pleasure me.”
He didn’t have to. I’d do it again, though. Over and over. Until I blacked out.
Maybe then, my own pulsing need would take a back seat. Maybe then, my cock would leak like it was crying from lack of touch.
Maybe….
The softest touch against my chin forced my head up. I kept my eyes down, refusing to meet the eyes of the strange Alpha.
“Oh, my sweet Kasey.”
I wasn’t sweet. I was nothing but that.
Dirty. Unflowered. Used. A toy.
“Can you talk to me?” Again, with a soft voice.
I breathed, tried, and failed to shut out everything.
My head jerked as my pinky moved, just enough to tickle my cock. That turned into a full-on hump of my hips, meeting nothing but air and causing a silent whine to leave my lungs.
“Only this once.”
I didn’t have time to question what he meant. It wasn’t my place to question anything an Alpha said. By the time the words made it into my brain, his hand wrapped around my cock.
It was bliss and agony tangled together.
His touch surrounded me, warm and steady, grounding me even as everything inside me threatened to come apart.
Then a single motion shattered my focus. A wave of sensation crashed through me so fast it stole my breath, my body reacting before my mind could catch up.
The edges of the world softened, blurred by the remnants of the drugs still drifting through my system. Relief washed over me—brief, fragile—because deep down I knew it wouldn’t last.
That thought alone made my eyes sting. Tears slipped freely. The room tilted. My chest tightened.
And then the darkness rose up, gentle and heavy, pulling me under and giving my mind a place to hide until it was ready to return.