Chapter 10
Kasey
The water hit my skin before I realized I’d turned it on.
I stood there, blinking at the tiled wall, steam curling around me in soft, unfocused shapes. The sound of the shower was too loud and too quiet at the same time, like it was happening far away in someone else’s life.
My hands shook as I reached for the soap, fingers slipping once, twice, before I managed to hold onto it. I kept waiting for someone to bark an order. For a knock. For a voice telling me I was taking too long.
Nothing came.
Just the steady rush of water and the faint echo of my own breathing.
I pressed my forehead to the cool tile, trying to anchor myself. Trying to remember all the rules. Trying to remember my place.
Maybe if I pretended that this was part of Lockswell’s tests, I’d survive it. Somehow.
My chest tightened, breath catching in a way I couldn’t control. Not a sob. Not panic. Just…too much. Too fast. Too close.
I squeezed my eyes shut and counted the droplets sliding down my spine.
One. Two. Three.
Anything to keep from slipping under again.
You’re safe now.”
Safe. I didn’t know what to do with that word.
Omegas were never safe. Not from the Alphas that ruled the world. I learned that lesson a few years ago.
I stayed under the water until the shaking eased enough that I could breathe without feeling like I was going to break apart. Slowly, carefully, I pushed myself upright.
I had to move. Evander said to meet him in the kitchen.
Orders I could follow.
Because orders were easier than trying to figure out what to do on my own.
I turned off the water, listening to the sudden silence settle around me like a weight. My hands were still trembling, but I managed to dry off, dress in a set of clothes that were set on the counter and leave the bathroom.
One breath. One step. One moment at a time.
I could come back to myself later.
Right now, I just had to stay present enough to walk down the hall. Stay present enough to follow orders and be whatever type of Omega this Alpha wanted.
If he wanted me on my knees sucking his cock for hours, then I happily would. If he wanted me to spread out on his dinner table while he ate food, then so be it. If he wanted me bent over the couch while he tore release from me, then I’d drift away while he did so.
But I would take it. Because there was nothing else but to do as the Alpha wanted.
It’s what years of learning were for. Years of training to be the perfect, obedient little Omega to make any Alpha happy at any given time.
And I hated the entire idea of it.
It made my skin crawl as though a million little bugs were crawling all over me.
The hallway felt too long. Every step towards the kitchen made my heartbeat louder, like my body was warning me I was walking into something I wasn’t prepared for.
The clothes felt strange against my skin, soft and smooth.
Nothing like the stiff uniforms I used to wear.
I couldn’t help but tug at the hem of the shirt, trying to make it sit right, trying to make me fit right.
I stopped just outside the kitchen, toes curling against the floor as I tried to steady myself. I didn’t know if I was supposed to announce myself or wait. Or was I standing in a corner until I told otherwise.
I didn’t know the rules, and that was the worst part.
The Alpha stood at the counter, back turned, doing something with a pan. The smell of food drifted through the air. It made my stomach twist in a way I didn’t understand.
He turned slightly, just enough to see me from the corner of his eyes. His expression softened. Like he was relieved, I followed his orders.
“Hey,” he said quietly. “You made it.”
I swallowed hard, unsure what to do with the words. I stepped inside, slow and careful, keeping close to the wall. My hands stayed clasped in front of me, fingers digging into each other to keep them from shaking.
I didn’t know where to stand, or even where to kneel. The Alpha noticed, of course he did. He sat the pan aside and wiped his hands on a towel, turning fully towards me.
“You can sit,” he nodded towards the round table. “Anywhere you want.”
Anywhere.
The word hit me like a physical thing.
I hesitated, waiting for the catch, the correction, the real instruction. When none came, I moved to the nearest chair and perched on the edge of it, spine straight, hands folded tight in my lap.
The Alpha didn’t comment. Didn’t push. He just went back to the stove, giving me space while still close enough that I didn’t feel abandoned.
The kitchen was warm and the air smelled like food.
No one was yelling. No one was watching me like I was going to fail at any given moment.
And somehow, that made it even harder to not fall apart. Harder to not disappear back into myself.
My eyes moved on their own, quick, quiet sweeps in the room.
Corners first. Always the corners.
The one by the pantry was shadowed enough to kneel without being in the way. The space beside the fridge was tighter, but workable if the Alpha wanted me to be close. The floor near the table was open, too exposed, but familiar in a way that made my stomach twist.
I hated that my mind went there.
The Alpha stood at the stove, back turned, and I took the chance to look for places I could be positioned if he wanted me somewhere. The wall by the doorway. The empty stretch of tile near the counter.
I forced my gaze upward, away from the floor, away from the places I’d already mapped out. The kitchen was normal. Soft light, clean corners.
I shifted, crossing my ankles, then uncrossing them. I didn’t know where he wanted me after this. Was it all a test?
The Alpha glanced over his shoulder, eyes softening even more. But he didn’t say anything. Didn’t order me anywhere but where I sat.
He just kept cooking, like I wasn’t a problem to manage. I wasn’t something he had to fix.
It tightened my throat in a way I didn’t understand.
I kept my eyes on the table, breathing slowly, trying to stay in the present. Trying to not slip back into the places my mind kept dragging me.
I jerked, eyes wide, as a plate and a small bowl were placed in front of me on the table.
“Grilled cheese and tomato soup.” The Alpha’s voice sounded kind, and it was hard to ignore my instinct to look up at him. But I did. I glanced up briefly to see his eyes before quickly dropping my gaze again.
“Eat.”
With a shaking hand, I picked up half of the sandwich, slowly bringing it to my lips. The first bite, that first burst of flavor, nearly caused me to groan out loud.
It’d been so long since I got something so delicious. Something so…warm and gooey and…and…good.
The food at Lockswell was often tasteless, just enough to give Omegas enough to keep living, to keep their energy up. But this…this food was like heaven, if it had a taste.
By the time I took the fourth bite, I felt more than saw the Alpha sit across from me. The chair barely made a sound, but his presence settled into the space like a weight. Thankfully, he didn’t try to talk.
My stomach protested sooner than I wanted it to, tightening in that familiar way that warned me I’d reached my limit. Not even half of the sandwich was gone. I stared at the remaining piece for a moment, wishing I could finish it, wishing my body would let me.
But it wouldn’t.
I set the uneaten half back on the plate and folded my hands in my lap again, slipping into the posture I knew best—quiet, still, waiting.
“Some rules, I think, should be set up, don’t you think?” I took a deep breath, giving a tiny nod.
The rules were good. Then, I’d know where I was to stand while I was with this Alpha. Afterall, this was his home. His life. I’d be whatever he wanted. I’d do whatever he wanted.
I lived to serve.
Even if my stomach twisted against the way society was. Even if my skin crawled with filth.
I would be whatever version of myself he wanted.
“I want to go through a few things,” the Alpha said, voice low and even. “Just so you know what to expect here.”
My spine went ridged before I could stop it, and the food sat like a stone in my stomach.
My hands tightened in my lap, nails digging into my palms as I braced myself.
But he didn’t sound strict or irritated. Or like he was preparing to correct it. He sounded careful.
“First, you don’t need permission to eat, drink, sit, stand, or move around. This is your home now and I want you to be comfortable.”
The words hit me so hard I forgot to breathe. My gaze snapped up, searching for his face for the trick. There wasn’t one. He just held my eyes for a moment, steady and sure before continuing.
“Second, no kneeling. Not for me, not for anyone who comes in this house.”
My throat tightened painfully.
He must have seen something in my expression because his voice softened even more. “Third. If you’re scared or overwhelmed, you can tell me. You won’t get in trouble for it. And last. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I won’t push but know I’ll be here.”
He let the silence settle between us, warm instead of heavy. I stared at my hands, trying to process the rules.
It didn’t make sense.
I was meant to kneel; meant to serve; meant to exist for an Alpha.
“These aren’t tests, Kasey. They’re just…the way things are here. I don’t want a mindless slave. I want company. A friend. No sexual acts will be required of you. If you want to feel useful, help clean the house, do the laundry. Water the plants that I can’t keep alive.”
What?
I blinked at him, my mind whirling at what he wanted.
Alphas didn’t want those things. And being in the company of an Alpha who didn’t want any of that….it wasn’t how the world worked.