Chapter 20
Evander
“I’m here,” I murmured, keeping my voice low and even. “You’re safe. I’m not leaving.”
I repeated it until the tension in his shoulders eased. I just needed him to breathe. I hadn’t expected him to climb into my lap, but once he did, instinct took over. I held him firmly, guiding him back from the edge of one breath at a time.
I pressed a kiss to the top of his now sweaty head, breathing in his scent. He smelled like warm vanilla with a hint of honey. It was more pronounced now that he was older, but he was still the sweet Omega now as he had been at eight.
Kasey softened in my arms, little by little, the tension draining from him in slow waves.
His breathing evened out first, then the trembling eased.
Then his weight settled firmly, as if his body finally believed it was allowed to rest. Warm tears soaked through my shirt, spreading in a small damp patch over my chest.
There had only been a handful of times, back when Kasey was small, when he’d come to me for comfort. He’d been a bright kid, grins too big for his face, laughter that carried across the yard, always running, always exploring, just content in the simple way children are.
But even then, every now and then, he’d wander over with sleepy eyes or scraped knees, or a heart too full of something he didn’t have words for. He’d climb into my lap without hesitation, curling in like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I would wrap my arms around him, and Kasey would melt into the hold, letting the noise of everything else fade until it was just the two of us and the quiet.
The moment felt achingly similar, except Kasey wasn’t a child anymore, and the reasons he sought comfort were carved from deeper wounds. But the way he fit against me, the way he clung, the way he let himself be held…. That part hadn’t changed.
I tightened my arms just a little, careful not to startle him, and rested my chin lightly against Kasey’s hair. The boy shuddered once, then settled again, breathing warmly against my throat.
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to.
Kasey was calming, and I was going to hold him for however long was needed. I held him the same way I held him then, years ago.
Now, years later, the shape of this Omega was different. He was longer, broader, had a body that endured far too much, but the way he curled in was heartbreaking. The way Kasey tucked his face against my neck. The way he let himself be held.
I rested my chin on his head, breathing in the faint scent of shampoo, and my hand moved in slow steady strokes along his back.
Another tremor passed through him before he settled, his grip on my shirt loosened.
I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the weight of the moment settle in my chest. This wasn’t the boy I used to know; this was someone who had been broken and reshaped.
I tightened my arms just a fraction more, enough to say, I’m here. I’m not going to leave you.
He didn’t move, didn’t flinch. Kasey simply breathed, and I let him.
If this was what it took to show the Omega that there was good in life, then I’d take it. If it got the boy to see that I was here for him, and not the other way around, then even better.
After a few more minutes, Kasey’s weight shifted slightly, settling deep in my lap, like his body was finally convinced it was allowed to rest.
I closed my eyes, letting the quiet settle around us like a blanket. With each passing second, Kasey relaxed more into me, almost all the tension leaving his body.
I kept one hand at the back of his head, thumb moving in slow, absent-minded strokes through his hair. The other arm stayed around his back, supporting him without holding him down.
“Maybe I should keep the anti-anxiety meds on me at all times,” I murmured, voice low, almost thinking aloud. “In case you need them.”
I wasn’t wrong. Kasey needed them. I hated that he did, hated that I hadn’t seen this coming, hated that today had started off so much better than I dared to hope.
“I’m…. I’ll…please.” The words tangled in his throat, barely making it out.
“Shh, sweet boy,” my voice softened even further, warm enough to melt through the last of Kasey’s defenses.
How could a voice do that? Make me want to fold, give in, to do anything just to stay in that warmth?
“I’m just going to hold you. Is that okay?”
“Please.” The word came out on a sniff, thick, wet, and humiliating. He only pressed closer, burrowing into my chest like he could hide inside me if he tried hard enough.
My arms tightened for a moment. I wasn’t going anywhere.
Never.
Kasey’s my entire life now. He’d always been, but now that I had him in my arms, in my life, I made a mental promise to both of us.
Kasey was mine, in whatever fashion I could have him. I’d die to protect him.
This Omega may only be in my home for less than two full days, but he was mine. And I had always been his.
Slowly, so slow that I could have stopped it if I’d wanted to, Kasey’s hand lifted. It wasn’t deliberate. It wasn’t confident. It moved like it was following an old instinct his mind hadn’t caught up to yet.
His fingers brushed the side of my neck first, light and trembling. Then they crept higher, searching blindly until they found the soft edges of my earlobe.
Kasey’s touch was barely there, more of a cling than a gesture, like he needed one more point of contact to stay grounded.
His breath hitched against my throat, but he didn’t pull away. He didn’t seem to fully be aware of what he was doing, only that he needed something to hold onto.
I stayed perfectly still. Not because I was startled, but because I understood exactly what this was. It was a frightened, exhausted boy reaching for comfort.
His fingers curled gently around my lobe, not tugging, not exploring. Just holding. Just anchoring.
I let out a slow steady exhale. “My sweet boy.”
At my words, Kasey relaxed even further, melting into the support I offered.