Chapter 30
Evander
The moment the back door shut behind me, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. The air outside was getting cooler and quieter.
I hated leaving Kasey for even a minute, but my mom’s look said this conversation wasn’t optional. It had been bad enough to leave the Omega on his own when he was so unsure of his own footing.
Mom folded her arms, leaning against the railing like she needed the support. “Evander,” she began, voice low. “What exactly is going on in there?”
Many things, I thought, scrubbing a hand over my jaw. “So, you met Kasey.”
“Yes. And as sweet as he is, why is he in your home? The same home you have sworn that you’d never bring an Omega into unless it was your Kasey.”
“Yeah, about that…” I glanced at her before returning my gaze to the yard. I knew if I looked at her, I’d cave and tell her everything. Although, I was going to tell her anyways. Mothers just always had that way. Omega mothers were the best at making their Alpha kids spill their guts.
“Evander… please tell me you didn’t bring him here just because he looks like that boy you’ve been obsessed with for years.” Her voice wasn’t accusing; she was just tired. Worried. The kind of worry only a mother could carry.
I didn’t answer. My shoulders sagged under the weight of it. I couldn’t lie to her; I never could.
She let out a long, heavy sigh. “Do you think that boy in there is him?”
“He is him.” The words came out low, certain, carved from something deeper than logic. All I was missing was the blood test, which was scheduled for later today, results as early as tomorrow afternoon. Proof. Confirmation of what my gut already knew.
I glanced at her, then looked away, unable to hold her gaze. “Did you see him?”
“I saw,” she said softly. “But son… sometimes we see what we want to see. That boy you— we—lost isn’t in that house of yours.”
I exhaled sharply, pacing once across the deck before turning back to her. “I’m telling you he’s the boy. I know it. I feel it in my bones.”
“Evander- “
“No.” My voice cracked, and I hated how raw it sounded. “You didn’t see him the way I did. You didn’t see his face when he looked at me the other day when I found him.”
I dragged my hand through my hair. “He has a birthmark. The eyes. The same way of tilting his head when he’s confused. The way he rambles. It’s him. I know it is.”
“What if you’re wrong?”
My jaw tightened. “But what if I’m not?” I countered.
She stepped closer, her voice gentler now. “And what if he isn’t? What then? Are you going to send him back? Tell him he’s not who you hoped he’d be? Evander, that would break him.”
Her words hit harder than she knew. Because she was right. Because I’d seen the way he clung to me. Because I’d felt the tremor in his hands when he thought he’d done something wrong. Because hope, mine or his, was a fragile thing. And I wasn’t sure either of us could survive it shattering.
“He’s…he’ll stay with me no matter what.” I was attached to him and sending him back broke a piece of me that I didn’t know I had. “But you aren’t listening,” I tried to keep my voice steady. “I’m not imagining things. I’m not chasing ghosts.”
She watched me with that look that always made me feel twelve again. “Then tell me what you are doing.”
“I’m caring. With high hope but caring because that boy deserves someone to care for him. He’s been broken, Ma. Turn down into a million tiny pieces. That place is awful. I’ve seen it, and that boy there wouldn’t survive if he was kept there a day longer. So, I would have taken him either way.”
“Ev…you have a big heart, but I’m worried about you.”
“I’m being careful.” Not really. Careful to not hurt the Omega that was in my life now, no matter what happened. “But what if he is that boy? What if he was that close all along and no one bothered to think about it as an option.”
“How can you be so sure it’s him?”
I’ve spent years hoping and looking. I’ve spent years holding the actions of my thirteen-year-old self on my shoulders, even though I knew it wasn’t just my fault.
“If it’s not him, then I keep looking.” It was as simple as that.
It always had been. “But what would you do if it were him? Would you finally accept that fact that I’m not crazy?
I lost my entire world when he disappeared, Ma.
You know that. I can’t give up hope when it’s dangled right in front of my face.
That boy in there is so much like the one I lost, but also so different in ways that life makes us be. ”
“I never thought you were crazy, Evander. Just a little lost. And I hoped that either you’d accept the truth that your childhood best friend was taken too soon and rested peacefully in his death, or you’d find him.
I really hope you did find him, but hope is one of the most fragile things we have.
I don’t want my baby boy to get hurt when that hope crashes like dust. I don’t want to see my little boy hurt again like that.
I worry that one of these times when the hope dies out, you don’t go with it. ”
“Ma,” I said, forcing my tears to not fall. “I won’t hurt myself just because life doesn’t work the way I want it to. I never have.”
“Not exactly. You skip meals. You push yourself to work more. You spend hours searching on the internet for new signs of that boy you lost. You can’t tell me you don’t hurt yourself when you don’t take care of your wellbeing.”
“I…I’ll try harder to keep myself together if Kasey isn’t that boy.” It was the most I could have promised.
I turned to face the back door, seeing the Omega wipe off the already clean countertop. He hadn’t bothered to fix his shirt, letting it hang off his shoulder, showing off that light dusting birthmark. And other marks that I didn’t want to think about.
“I know your heart. I know how fiercely you love, and I know how long you’ve carried the weight of everything. But listen to me,” her voice was low but strong. “If you’re wrong, if that boy inside isn’t who you think he is, you could break him without meaning to.”
“I’m not wrong. But I won’t break him.” That boy in there, no matter what the blood test came back with, was mine. I couldn’t return it to him. He had a place here in my life and maybe he’d save me from myself.
“You care for him deeply. I can see that. And that’s the reason you didn’t join me and dad this year, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. He…Kase needs structure and care.”
“Omegas from Lockswell aren’t…they are sensitive. They can thrive like no other, but if you promise something, it better not be broken.”
“I never break my promises.”
She reached out, touching my arm gently. “So, here’s my warning, son. One last time.”
I braced myself.
“Don’t give him hope you can’t keep. Don’t promise him a place in your world unless you’re ready to hold him there. And don’t- “her voice wavered just slightly. “Don’t let your need to find the boy you lost link you to the boy standing right in front of you.”
The words hit deeper than I expected.
She squeezed my arm once, firm and warm. “If you’re going to protect him, then protect him. Not a memory. Not a ghost. Not a wish.”
I exhaled slowly, the weight of her warning settle into something sharp and real.
“I hear you. But I’m not letting him go.”
“I know,” she murmured. “That’s what scares me.”
I waited until Mom’s footsteps faded down the porch steps before I finally turned back towards the house. The kitchen light spilled across the floor in a warm rectangle and for a moment, I just stood their hand on the doorknob, letting the quiet settle.
I wasn’t sure if Mom realized I’d already made my choice long before she said anything.
I was going to keep this boy. He was Kasey. And if I was the only one who believed it, then so be it.
I pushed the door open.
The house felt different the second I stepped inside. It was too still, too quiet. Kasey wasn’t where I left him. The kitchen was clean, lights were on, and the casserole still sat on the counter.
“Kasey?” I called softly, not wanting to startle him.
No answer.
I moved through the living room, scanning every area possible. Then I saw him, curled up on the floor beside the couch, knees pulled to his chest, arms wrapped tight around himself like he was trying to hold all the pieces together.
He looked up the moment he sensed me, eyes wide and glassy, like he wasn’t sure about everything.
God. That look alone could break a man.
I crossed the room in a few strides and crouched down in front of him. “Hey.”
His breath hitched, and he reached for me before he realized he was doing it. I took his hands gently, guiding him up and into my arms. He fit against me like he’d been waiting for permission to fall apart.
“I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Didn’t know if I were to stay where I was or make myself useful.”
“You don’t have to stay anywhere, I’m not. If you need me, come find me. Always.”
He trembled just a little, and I wrapped my arms around him.
Mom’s warning flickered through my mind again, but it didn’t change a damn thing. I wasn’t going to give him false hope. I wasn’t confusing him with a ghost.
I was holding the boy right in front of me. The one who needed me. The one I’d already chosen. And I wasn’t going to let him go.
Kasey stayed against me. He didn’t ask what happened outside. He didn’t talk. Just clung to me. And maybe that was why the memory rose up, quiet and unbidden, but warm in a way that hurt.
“You know…” I brushed a hand through his hair, “you did something earlier that reminded me of him.”
Kasey stiffened slightly, but didn’t pull away, just listening to that fragile stillness he had when he was afraid of the answer.
I kept my voice soft. “When you tucked yourself into my side like that. The boy I knew used to do that when he was little.”
I let the memory unfold, gentle, and slow. “There was this one summer, hot as hell with no breeze, the kind of heat that makes the air shimmer. You – he was maybe six? Seven? He’d been running around the yard with a popsicle, sticky from head to toe.”
A faint confused sound escaped him, like he couldn’t imagine himself that carefree. I smiled a little. “He got tired and came over to me. I didn’t say a word. Just climbed right into my lap and pressed his face into my shirt. Exactly like right now, even.”
Kasey’s fingers curled into my shirt, holding me close, or maybe trying to cling to me even more without being so noticeable.
“He was so small. And he trusted me without thinking. He’d fall asleep on me all the time, like he knew I’d keep him safe.”
I’ll never forget the small moment from back then on.
“I…I remember having popsicles. They were sticky and a lady said I was messy, but in a super nice way. Like your mother treated me.”
“My mother worries for my sanity, but she is very nice.” I pressed my cheek to the top of his head. She got to worry, since it wasn’t the first time I may have been slightly reckless in my search for my best friend.
“I….”
“You what, sweetheart?” I coaxed.
He breathed, leaning more into my hold. It was crazy to think that days ago he was terrified of me, and now here he was, taking comfort of all things from me.
It was most likely one of the many flaws with Omegas from Lockswell.
As far as I knew, the Omegas tended to latch on to any Alpha that showed them any sort of attention, good or bad.
“You’re nice, too.”
“I had a great set of parents that made sure I was. Alphas should treasure their Omegas and their friends and family. And I’m pretty big on family.”
“You’re…Mom knows about Lockswell.”
“Most people do. It’s advertised as a great school for Omegas to go to for obedience. It’s also where unwanted Omegas are given when the parents can’t care for one or would rather have an Alpha over Omega. But Lockswell isn’t the only boarding school. There’s a number of them across the country.”
“It’s not a great place.” The words were uttered before he could stop them. “They hurt us.”
“I’m so sorry you had to deal with all that. I really am. And I wish I could change the way things are.”