Chapter 11
11
VIOLET
T he vodka doesn’t burn anymore. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t betray me. Or break my heart.
At the moment, vodka is my best friend. The love of my fucking life.
I sniffle as I take another numbing swig from the bottle. The cool breeze tickles the bare skin of my shoulders, but thanks to the vodka, I can barely feel it.
What a fool I am.
I’m supposed to be smarter than this. My sister, Luna, is the senseless one of the family, but right now, I feel like it’s me.
I literally talked the handsomest and most charming man in the whole city into marrying the person I love most. I deserve this. I deserve to lose her because I was too fucking weak to come up with a better plan.
Of course, if I had any idea my conniving, cruel, evil fucking mother had planned to force them into fucking in front of my very eyes, I never would have sought this plan out. I thought he would just take her to his house where I would meet them and Birdie and I could run off together into our blissful, perfect future.
My feet sink into the wet grass as I amble through the labyrinth of this massive garden behind the mansion. I lost my shoes hours ago. Tossed them into the bushes. Or was that just a few minutes ago?
Who the fuck knows?
And it doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters anymore.
Birdie is gone. My Birdie. The only thing on this lonely fucking planet that I care about.
Just the mention of her name in my brain drags up the sound of her whimpers as Alaric fucked her. The way she loved it. The way she begged him to come in her.
Suddenly, I’m retching into a hedge. My vodka bottle tumbles into the grass, spilling what was left inside. After my stomach is emptied, I collapse onto the ground, crying into my folded arms.
When I hear footsteps, I freeze.
The last thing I need right now is for some asshole from the auction to harass me out here in the hedge maze in the middle of the night. Reaching for the vodka bottle, I grab it by the neck and watch for whoever is about to turn the corner and find me here.
It’s not a stranger from the auction, but I tighten my grip on the bottle nonetheless.
“Violet,” Alaric calls as if he’s searching for me.
The next thing I know, I’m launching myself at him, swinging the bottle as a sob escapes my mouth.
“I hate you,” I cry out. Just when I’m expecting the bottle to crash against his skull, he snatches my wrist in his hand and overpowers me.
“Crazy fucking bitch,” he mutters as he yanks the bottle from my hand and pulls me to his chest, tightening his grip on me. “I’ve been looking for your drunk ass for the past two hours. Why the fuck did you come out to this godforsaken maze?”
“Why does it matter?” I cry. “You want your fucking jewel?”
“No, I don’t want the fucking jewel,” he replies in a harsh tone. His lips are next to my ear, and I hate myself for the way my body reacts.
I’m supposed to want to kill him, not fuck him.
“Then what do you want?” I groan, big warm tears sliding down my cheeks and over my lips.
“I want to fucking talk to you,” he replies, gritting his teeth as he continues to fight me for control. I struggle to escape his grasp, and even though I no longer have the empty bottle in my hand, I’d still like to claw at his stupid, handsome face and pummel my fist against his perfect cheekbones.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I reply drunkenly. “I hate you.”
Thunder roars overhead as a light sprinkle starts to rain down on us.
His grip tightens around my body, forcing me to focus on the hard, muscular plane of his chest. Then he puts his mouth next to my ear. His voice comes out in a sexy, raspy grumble. “I’m sure you do, Violet,” he says. “I just fucked your girl, and I’ll do it again.”
I let out a sobbing shriek as I fight his strength to no avail.
“But I care about you, you wild little bitch, so I want you to listen to me.”
“Care about me?” I scream. “If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have jumped into bed with the woman I love.”
His hands are rough as he grabs my face under my jaw and holds me tight. I can feel his frustration and anger with me, and it only fuels mine in return. “What the fuck are you talking about, Violet?” he snaps. “You asked me to do that for you.”
“You clearly enjoyed yourself,” I reply spitefully.
Suddenly, I’m being hoisted off the ground. Alaric’s strong arms carry me off the gravel path and into the dark abyss behind the bushes among the trees and flowers of the garden.
“Let me go!” I scream.
His hand quickly clamps over my mouth. “I should leave you out here,” he says with a groan as he lowers to his knees, taking me with him so we’re hidden behind the shrubs. “You want these thugs around here to hear you screaming? You’ll get us both kicked out, and then what happens to Birdie? So keep your fucking voice down while I talk, understand?”
I whimper behind his hand as I struggle to calm myself down. I know he’s right. I know I’ll only cause more trouble by making a scene, but I can’t help it. I’m full of so much rage and anger I don’t know what else to do with it.
I rest back on Alaric’s kneeling body, and that’s when I feel the prodding erection in his pants against my ass. Just the feel of his hard cock makes my blood boil again with fury.
Tearing his hand away from my mouth, I turn my head toward him. “You get off on forcing women to do something they don’t want, don’t you?”
When I try to swing my hand at his face, he snatches my wrist again and forces me face down into the grass.
“Dammit, Violet.” He growls. “I knew you had fire in your blood, but I had no idea you were this fucking crazy.”
“I’m not crazy,” I spit back at him.
His voice is near my ear again. The weight of his body on top of mine is infuriatingly comforting and arousing. The length of his cock rubs through the crack of my ass, and I let out a humiliating whimper.
“That’s what I thought,” he mutters in my ear. “How can I be turned on by women who don’t want me when you so clearly do?”
“No, I don’t.” I growl, my face tickled by the grass.
He grinds himself against me again, and I let out another guttural moan. “You sure about that?” he replies.
“So what? Are you going to fuck me out here only hours after fucking my stepsister?”
“I’m not fucking you out here,” he replies. “I’m trying to talk to you, but you’re struggling against me so much it has my dick confused.”
Suddenly, I’m out of energy. My limbs fall to the ground, spent and exhausted. And still drunk. Just then, the sky opens up and the drizzle turns into hard rain. Lightning flashes in the distance, illuminating the dark maze for a split second before it goes dark again.
I let my tears fall into the dirt and grass with the rain while Alaric waits to be sure I’m not going to swing at him again. Then he finally climbs off me before sitting on his ass with his arms draped over his knees.
After a few minutes of sobbing like a child and feeling sorry for myself, I slowly get up. He watches me cautiously as I move into a seated position.
“You look like shit,” he mumbles, and I give him a scowl and the middle finger.
“Well, today was the worst day of my life, so forgive me for not being pretty enough for you.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t pretty. I said you look like shit,” he replies, shaking the rain from his head.
“What do you want me to do about it, Alaric?” I wipe the makeup from under my eyes, but it’s caked on so heavily, it’s not helping much.
“Come to my room and shower. Let’s get some rest, and then we can talk. Assuming you’re done trying to kill me.” He puts up his hands in surrender, and I roll my eyes.
“Fine,” I mutter.
When he stands up, he puts out a hand for me. Hesitantly, I place my fingers in his, and he hoists me to my feet. Suddenly, I’m standing an inch from him, staring up into his eyes.
That memory of potential love for Alaric Stone comes flooding back. If it hadn’t been for Birdie, I probably would have let my heart get attached to him, but because of her, the roots of our love never had a chance to grow.
She came first. She always comes first.
“Let’s go,” he whispers after a long moment of charged eye contact. “We’re getting soaked.”
With his arm over my shoulder, he leads me to his room. The mansion is dark, but I hear movement in the halls and rooms. Whatever is going on behind those doors and walls is more than likely wicked.
But there’s only one room I care about.
And when Alaric opens the door, I lay my eyes on Birdie’s sleeping form in his bed. I wish I could say it doesn’t hurt. But she’s still naked, and her hair is tousled in a post-sex knot of tangles. The memory of watching her give herself to him so freely still burns like my heart is pumping acid through my veins instead of blood.
“Come on,” he whispers.
I’m too drunk and heartbroken and exhausted to face her at the moment. He must be able to tell because he gently guides me to the bathroom. Once we’re in there, he starts the giant shower and pulls out a towel for me to use.
But I don’t move. I stare into the mirror at the mess of a woman in the reflection. I can hear my mother’s words in my mind.
You’re so weak, Violet.
You only care about yourself, Violet.
You think you’re so much better than us, don’t you, Violet?
You’ll never leave, Violet.
You’re too afraid.
Without a word, Alaric drags the zipper of my dress down, and I blink away from my reflection to watch him carefully undressing me. It doesn’t feel sensual or charged. It’s nurturing.
The blue silk dress falls to the floor, and with his help, I step out of it. Then he unclasps my bra and tosses it to the floor. I don’t even flinch when his fingers slide under the elastic band of my underwear, easing them down my legs until I’m completely naked.
As he opens the shower door and guides me inside, I realize at some point, I’m going to have to snap out of it and start taking care of myself. But my arms feel like they’re filled with lead, and my head aches with the thought of any effort at all.
I simply stare at the marble white shower wall for a long time. The water is scalding, and it burns my skin, but I don’t care. I lean into the burn.
When the shower door opens again, it takes me by surprise. I glance up to find Alaric standing a foot away from me, the hot water cascading down his naked chest.
“You know what I always liked about you?” he says as he slowly spins me around so the water hits my back. Gently, he tips my head back and runs his fingers through my hair. “You never played by their rules.”
“What are you talking about?” I mumble. My voice trails as he squirts shampoo in my hair and begins to work up a lather on the scalp. My eyes flutter closed, savoring his relaxing touch.
“I’ve always been an outsider. A self-made man. I didn’t grow up rich like you did, or anyone else is this twisted fucking community. So I never felt like I could connect with anyone. Until I met you.”
My eyes pop open. “Me?”
“When I met you, I knew you were an outsider too,” he says as he continues to massage my head.
“How could you tell that?” I murmur.
“Everyone around here has a motive. They play for themselves. People only sleep with others for power or money. Relationships are schemes. And I’m sure your mother tried to set you up with powerful men who would further your family’s prosperity, but you didn’t. You came to me.”
“I liked you,” I whisper.
“I liked you too, Violet. A lot. We could have had something amazing together. But you left.”
His words land heavily on my chest. Guilt blossoms there, and it’s impossible to ignore.
“Why didn’t you try harder to get me back?” I ask, remembering the last time I saw him romantically and the last text he sent that went unanswered.
“I figured it was for the best. In my line of work, a happy man is a man with weaknesses. I make other people’s problems go away, and sometimes that puts me in compromising situations. I’ve made enemies, Violet. Being a discreet nobody with nothing to lose is what has kept me alive and wealthy for many years.”
I don’t respond as he rinses the shampoo from my hair. I start replaying the encounters Alaric and I shared before. Did he really like me more than I thought? Was I a liability to him?
“What about Birdie?” I whisper, turning around to face him. “You’re not going to let her go, are you?”
“No,” he replies solemnly. “I can’t let her go now.”
I wince, the pain of the truth stabbing my chest like a knife. “Will she be safe with you?”
His expression grows serious. “I won’t let anything happen to Birdie.”
“You barely know her. How can I trust you? How do I know you’ll really care for her after only meeting her yesterday?” I ask, my tone growing cold, but there’s a tremble that I can’t help.
“I wish I could understand, but all I know is that she’s mine now, Violet. And I will care for her.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, letting a tear slip through my lashes. “What about what she wants? How do you know she’ll stay with you?” I whisper.
Alaric brushes the water from my brows. Then he leans in and presses his lips to my forehead. “Because you’ll tell her to,” he replies with confidence.
My eyes pop open, and I lean back and stare at him in shock. “I will not.”
“If you care about her, you will,” he says in a dark, matter-of-fact way that chills my bones. “Does she know the truth about you, Violet? Does she know what you did . What do you think she’ll do when she finds out?”
I let out a gasp as I lift my hand and let it fly, slapping him hard across his cheek. He doesn’t stop me this time, even though I know he could. Maybe he knows he deserves this one.
“Are you threatening me?” I ask in a whispered shriek. When I lift my hand again, he grabs it in a swift motion and shoves me against the wall, covering my naked body with his. Then his mouth is an inch from my face as he speaks.
“I’m not threatening you. I’m being sensible. Think about it, Violet. Birdie could be carrying my child as we speak. Your mother is clearly crazier than I expected. Did you honestly think that the two of you could just ride off into the sunset together and no one would care? She will find you, and she will make you pay for trying to outsmart her. And if Birdie does have my child, your mother will use that child against all of us.”
“You’re wrong. My mother will be glad to be rid of us,” I argue.
“What money are you using, Violet?”
My lips press together as I stare into his eyes because I don’t have a good response for that. “We’ll—” I start, but he cuts me off.
“You honestly think Clarissa will let you have a dime of either of your inheritances? Just like before, Violet—you make the plans, and I execute them. Remember? Just admit it. Birdie would be safer with me, and you will tell her so.”
He buries his hand in my hair and tilts my head back so I’m forced to stare upward at him. Then, to my surprise, he licks along the seam of my mouth.
I let out a gasp, my hands gripping the wet skin on his sides, unable to gain purchase to push him away.
“See?” he murmurs. “I like the way you fight with me. You’re not afraid of me, Violet, and I love that about you.”
“Alaric,” I breathe out before his mouth crashes against mine. At first, it’s just his lips pressed to my lips, and I do my best to fight him off. I do my best to hate him.
But when I gasp, he slides his tongue inside, and I’m helpless. My hands stop clawing at him. My body stops trying to get away. I don’t understand anything; honestly, I stop trying. I melt into his arms and let him kiss the life out of me.
It doesn’t make any sense.
I hate my body for the way it responds to his touch, warming at the core and wanting more.
I hate my heart for the way it calls out to him, wishing for a moment he’d let me in.
I hate myself for letting him kiss me while Birdie sleeps in the next room.
When his lips trail hungrily from my mouth to my neck, I whisper, “Stop.”
But it’s a weak attempt. Because I am weak.
After all this time, I made Birdie believe she could trust me. That I could take care of her. But I can’t do anything. My mother was right. I am a disappointment. I promised Birdie I wouldn’t let anyone touch her, and I failed. I promised I’d get her out, and I failed.
Maybe he’s right—she is better off without me.
“Alaric, stop!” I bark louder, pushing him in earnest now. He takes a stumbling step backward and stares at me in surprise. Without looking directly at it, I can tell his cock is hard and protruding toward me.
What would have happened if I didn’t stop him? Would he have fucked me right here in the shower? I’m humiliated just thinking about it.
I’m tired of being weak and helpless. And I won’t do it anymore.
“I’m not going to just let you take what you want,” I say, feeling sober and determined. “Not me and not Birdie. My plan might not have been perfect, but I’m just as capable of taking care of her as you are. So if you plan on keeping Birdie, you better plan on keeping me too. Because where she goes, I go.”
With that, I turn off the water and step out from under the spray.
When I turn back to glance at him, I’m surprised to find him wearing a haughty smirk.