Chapter 5 Cole #2
We deserved it. Especially me, who forced my way into her body before she left for good. A desperate attempt to keep her. To remind her… fuck, as much as I hated what I’d done to her, I knew I’d do it again if it meant she’d come back to us.
But with Enzo saying he didn’t want her anymore and E wanting to keep Riot a secret, I knew I had very little chance of getting her back. I’d have to leave my family to be with her.
Or just be with her and watch my brothers be miserable without her.
But only if she came to us first. That was the deal we’d made with Church.
Fucking prick.
I rubbed my eyes for a moment before I looked at the picture of Fox I kept on my desk. It was the image the papers had taken of him the night he’d won his Heisman, his Freshman year at Mayfair, before he died.
Swallowing hard, I reached out and lifted the picture and stared down at his handsome, smiling face.
“Fuck, Foxy, I miss you too, man. You’d know what to do to get this mess sorted.” I sniffled and wiped at my eyes. He’d died in the underground almost five years ago. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about him.
Once a month, we visited his grave. Sometimes I went there alone just to talk to him as if he’d stuck around. If he had, I knew he damn well wasn’t hanging out with us. He’d be with Rosalie, standing in the crowd and cheering her on.
I wiped at my eyes again.
This was fucked.
I placed his photo back on my desk next to the one of Rosalie in that lavender dress I loved so much, before going back to my computer.
I found the gossip rags and stared at images of her being carried by Anson with her head covered and loaded into a blacked-out SUV, security around them.
BISHOP RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL AMID ATTACK.
“Fucking prick,” I muttered, glaring at the image. I found it offensive for Anson to be carrying her that way, but I was more pissed that someone attacked her.
I navigated away from the article, which didn’t tell me shit, and looked at the next story.
SECURITY TIGHTENED FOR BISHOP.
I nodded. At least they were doing something right.
I continued looking through the stories, trying to find anything about who might have done it. The day wore on until night settled, and I stayed pacing my room, making notes, and searching for anything I could find to link an attacker to her.
So far, nothing.
“You hungry?” E called out, poking his head into my room as I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling, my laptop next to me.
“No,” I mumbled.
He stepped into the room and sat on the edge of my bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“What? Food? I’m just not hungry, man,” I said, continuing to look at the ceiling.
“No. About this.” He gestured to my notes scattered around me and my laptop.
“Just trying to save my girl.”
He nodded, pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, and handed it to me. I took it and opened it to see he’d made some notes too.
“You think it’s Mikhail Ivanov?” I frowned and looked to E. Last anyone knew, he’d run after his old man was killed and had set up shop on the West Coast. Seattle, if our information was correct.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “It would make sense, don’t you think? He’s Rosalie’s cousin. He’s bitter. He’s a prick. He’s on the West Coast. Best guess as any.”
“Did you tell Enzo?”
He shook his head. “No. He’s not been home. He’s at Rustic HQ and called to say he was headed to check how the clubs in town were doing.”
I frowned at that. I always went with Enzo to do club checks.
“Do you think he still loves her?” I asked softly.
E blew out a breath and looked away from me.
“It’s been a long time, and Enzo has been punishing himself since we were taken.
I think he’s been through a lot and hates himself.
He doesn’t want to love her because it makes it hurt too much, but yeah, I think he still does, even if he says he doesn’t. ”
“Do you still love her?” E didn’t talk about her often. He was always quiet when it came to her. Almost like she had been a dream he’d had long ago.
He looked down at his hands in his lap. “Yes.”
I sat up and moved to sit beside him. “Me too.”
“I know.”
We were quiet for a moment. To my knowledge, none of us had been with another woman since Rosalie.
E didn’t really talk to people at all. He did a lot of consulting and research work for the Mayfair science program and worked with many people there, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call any of them more than work colleagues.
Enzo ignored the women who tried to climb on him.
He always pushed them away. No woman could hold a light to my Rosebud, so I didn’t bother with any of them.
And when shit got too lonely, we’d sit in bed and jerk off with one another like three fucking chumps.
“Do you think she’ll ever come back to us?” I asked softly.
“No.” His words were firm. “I don’t think she will.”
His words gutted me, but he said them with such fervor, I knew he meant them.
“And if she did…?” I ventured, praying to fuck he’d want her back. He loved Rosalie. Always had. But E had changed, too.
He looked over at me and gave me a sad smile. “That would require a hell of a lot of explaining, don’t you think?”
“She’s worth it, E.”
“I know,” he murmured. “But if she came back, I feel like she’d only hate us once she knew the truth.”
“But if she came back, would you want her?” I repeated.
“I would. I always will.” He visibly swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “But I doubt she’d want to come back to a kid that’s not hers and to a man who lied to her about it. Laz would be a constant reminder of shit we’re all trying to forget. I hate to say it.” He shook his head.
“Enzo knew what he was doing when he took your place—”
“Not Enzo. Me.” He looked away from me again and stared at the wall.
“I lied to her. I was going through a lot of shit back then. I didn’t know up from down.
All I knew was fear. I made a stupid decision from that fear and dragged you and Enzo down with me.
It’s a regret I have. If I had the opportunity, I’d go to her and tell her how sorry I am because she at least deserves an apology. I could give that to her. Maybe…”
“Maybe what?” I asked, desperate to cling to any bit of hope he could give me.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if she’d want to be friends with me.”
I frowned. “She’s your girl, man.”
He looked at me. “Not anymore. We know she’s not ours. Lying to ourselves isn’t ever going to fix any of our problems, Cole. It’s OK to dream of a friendship. If I could have her as a friend, then I know I’d be OK with that. I’d accept it. It would beat the nothing, you know?”
I didn’t say anything, but fuck, just a friend?
There was no way in hell I could ever be just her friend.
E’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out.
“Yes? No. He’s not here. OK. I’ll send Cole. Meet him there.” E hung up and looked at me.
“What the fuck is going on now?” I grumbled.
“Elliot said one of the warehouses was broken into. Jake called to tell him. They can’t reach Enzo.”
“Fuck,” I snarled, getting to my feet. “He needs a goddamn smart watch so it buzzes on his wrist. He never answers the phone when he’s at the fucking clubs.”
“I can call Ann and see if she will come watch Laz.”
“No.” I waved him off when he mentioned the older lady who nannied for us. “It’s Harold’s birthday this weekend. Let them celebrate. You stay here. I’ll let you know what’s going on.”
E said nothing as I got ready and grabbed my gun from my bedside table.
“Be careful,” he said, eyeing me.
“Only way I know how to be.” I clapped him on the shoulder and left the room, him following me.
“Dad?” Riot called out in his raspy voice that always broke my damn heart to hear. Fucking Celeste hurting him like that… fuck, I hope she was enjoying hell, the whore bag cunt.
“Hey, bud.” I went to where he was sitting on the couch and knelt in front of him as he held his Ninja Turtle in his arms. The kid was obsessed with the turtles.
He stared back at me with his big green eyes, his dark hair a wild mess, his pajamas rumpled.
“Where going?” he rasped out.
“I’ll be back soon. I’m going to meet your other dad and do some work, OK?”
He looked from me to E. “Ann coming?”
“No, I’ll be home with you,” E said, sitting next to him on the couch and kissing the top of his head. “We’re going to watch the turtle movie and eat pizza, just like Mikey.”
Riot’s eyes lit up, and he snuggled into E’s arms.
“We’ll be fine,” E said, looking at me. “Just be careful.”
I nodded and reached out to hug Riot. He came easily to me, his little arms wrapping around my neck. He wasn’t my biological son, but I loved him like he was. He called all of us Dad. Sometimes, he’d just say my and Enzo’s names. We didn’t care.
I wished for my own kid, but I couldn’t make one on my own. I imagined I’d have a daughter, and she and Riot would terrorize all of us.
It was wishful thinking because it seemed like that ship had sailed.
“Be good,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.” I kissed the top of his head and released him back to E before getting to my feet and walking to the front door.
“Be safe,” E said, his voice holding that soft note of worry. Despite how hard and rough E was these days, he was still the guy I remembered beneath it all.
“Always, brother,” I replied before opening the door and stepping out.
It was go time.