Chapter 15 Cole
COLE
Isettled on the leather couch next to E. Riot was in bed. The stream of Rosalie’s show had been on for a few hours now, and I’d watched the opening bands already.
But now…
I breathed out and ran my hands down my thighs.
I’d ordered a pizza. Wings. Drinks. Chips.
I had everything, even French fries, but I had to give E credit for those.
Riot thought we were having a party and filled his belly as he danced to the music on the screen, then tired out and fell asleep on E.
E had taken him to bed, and now it was time for the main event.
“Where’s Enzo?” I asked for the fifth time.
“I don’t know.” E gave the same answer he’d been giving all night.
I was beyond frustrated. Enzo knew I had this night planned. He said he’d be here for it. I’d seen more of the fucking news that morning. Someone sent my girl a person’s heart in a box.
This had become a serious situation. I figured the show would be canceled, but when I scoured the internet, everything said the show should move forward.
She had to be so scared.
It was fucking me up to sit back and be a bystander when all I wanted to do was run out and find whoever this fucker was. The overwhelming need to protect her rushed over me for what felt like the millionth time today.
I dialed Enzo, but he didn’t answer. Swearing softly, I redialed.
“What?” he snapped into the phone after the fifth ring.
“Where the fuck are you? You said you’d be home. You’re not answering calls or texts—”
“No offense, Cole, but my wife is dead. I’m not looking for a new one,” he said back, his voice cool.
“Motherfucker, get your ass here,” I hissed into the phone, my anger surging. “E and I are waiting for you. She goes on in a few minutes—”
“I’m working,” he said. “I have a fucking job. I can’t just wander home whenever I feel like it.”
“You knew we were doing this!”
“Cole, I told you before, I’m not interested. Now stop calling so I can get this fucking contract done.”
I breathed out and swallowed. “She’s our girl, man.”
“She’s not. She hasn’t been for a long time.”
“What the fuck happened to you?” My heart was breaking as I clutched my phone tightly. “We had plans. We were going to bring her home…Is that over now?”
“Cole, it was over the moment I walked out the door on her all those years ago. You’re hurting yourself by clinging to the ghost of a memory. I keep telling you it’s over. Just… stop.”
My jaw quivered at his words. “Fine. Have fun at work, dick.”
I hung up the phone and sank back in my seat, rubbing my eyes.
“Not coming?” E asked.
“No.” I sat forward and grabbed the remote. “He’s being a dick.”
“He’s struggling. He’s angry. Just let him be. You’re pushing all this on him, and honestly, it’s hurting all of us,” E said softly.
I looked over at him, frowning. “What?”
He sighed. “Listen. We all loved Rosalie.”
“Loved?” I demanded, my heart pounding.
E held his hand up to stop my spiral. “I do love her still. Yes. But I have Laz now. What would I ever say to her? Hey, here’s my son, whom I had with another woman and lied to you about.
Remember, I said I never wanted kids, and now I have one?
Sorry about that. Oh, and by the way, I ruined everything with the lies and broke you up with the guys, and Fox is dead because I wasn’t strong enough to keep him alive?
” He scoffed and shook his head. “It’s a lost cause for me.
And honestly, I do think you’re the only one who might still have a chance.
I have a son. Enzo “cheated” and married another woman.
But you? You were loyal to her. Still are.
” E shrugged sadly. “Maybe it’s time to stop pushing all of us and focus on what you want.
Maybe you need to just reach out to her, man. And then…”
“Then what?” I asked, staring at him, my heart in my throat.
He shrugged. “Be with her. It’s OK if you have to leave us. We’d understand. Hell, I’d be your biggest cheerleader if you got the girl.”
I frowned at his words. “I don’t want to leave you guys. You’re my family. My best friends. My brothers. I just want you to want her too.”
“Cole, man, I want her more than my next breath, but I also understand I can’t have her.
” He paused for a moment. “That day I saw her at the coffee shop, she told me she wouldn’t ask me to leave my life, and it wouldn’t be fair if I asked her to leave hers.
I’m pretty good at figuring shit out. That was her saying that if we were happy apart, to let the happiness happen.
It fucking hurt, man, but I get it. Maybe you need to get it too. ”
I swallowed hard and looked back at the big screen TV in our high-rise.
“You won’t even try?” I asked softly after a long moment.
He blew out a breath. “Fuck, man. You know I would.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, his words helping me. All hope wasn’t lost yet.
His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out. “Hello? Oh, hey, Emily. Yeah. No, it’s fine. I’m not busy.”
I ground my teeth as I watched him get up to take the phone call. Who the fuck was Emily? And yes, he was fucking busy.
I watched as he paced in front of the windows.
“No, that will work. Yes. Perfect. Bye.” He hung up and came back to sit on the couch.
“Who was that?” I grumbled.
“Emily.”
“Clearly. Who the fuck is Emily?”
“You know who Emily is. She’s one of the research students at Mayfair. She’s part of the project I’ve been helping out with.”
“Then tell her to go fucking study her shit and leave you alone.”
He sighed. “Relax, man. She had some questions and just wanted me to come in tomorrow. It’s fine.”
I ground my teeth but decided the night was shitty enough already, and I didn’t want to make it worse by arguing, so I turned back to the TV.
“Let’s just watch this, OK? We haven’t seen her perform live since the Grammys.” E patted my hand before he grabbed another slice of pizza.
I’d lost my appetite, but I did sit forward as the screen faded to black.
It did that whenever they were changing bands, and the last band, that fucking Fatal Promise, had just been on.
That prancing motherfucker had hyped the crowd up for my girl, so I couldn’t hate on him too much, but he really was a pretty motherfucker, and I knew I’d gut his ass if rumors of him and her were true.
I had faith that Ass Hat would be a cock block. It kept me from flying to Boston.
We sat in silence while we waited.
Then, the lights flashed for a moment. I sat forward quickly and stared at the screen, my heart in my throat. Even E sat forward.
“Here she comes,” I murmured, my gaze fixed and unblinking on the screen. I didn’t want to miss a moment of her entrance. I lived and breathed for glimpses of her online. Now, I’d get the next hour with her. Live.
Drums thundered in our surround sound.
Guitars.
Screams from fans.
Then…
There she was.
Dressed in black leather and lace, her skirt short and her red hair wild around her.
“Fuck,” I murmured, placing my hand over my chest as the camera zoomed in on her.
“I wake up tired before the day begins. Coffee tastes like pills. I swallow it in. They say you’re strong, like it’s a compliment…” Her voice played around us, and tears sprang to my eyes as she belted out her song Still Here in perfect pitch.
We didn’t speak as we watched her dance. As we watched her sing. As she reached out to the crowd to hold their hands. She even took someone’s phone and took a selfie with them on the stage.
The crowd loved her.
I loved her.
I knew, as I watched her try to appear unbothered, that I would always love her, and I needed to protect her always.
And so… I would.
An idea was forming.
But then she sang her new song, Tears You Up, and I stared at the screen with my mouth hanging open.
You called me rosebud like I’d never bleed
Like I was soft enough to never leave
Hands like thunder, voice like sin
You carved your name beneath my skin
Back room lights and a locked door grin
You pulled me close like a war to win
Cold tile floor, hearts out of tune
You kissed me hard like you had something to prove
Was she serious? Sure, she’d shit on us through the years in her lyrics, or at least we assumed they were about us, but she was straight up calling me out.
I swallowed hard as she blew a kiss to the cameras and winked.
I hope it tears you apart
Every time you hear my name
I’m screaming someone else’s touch
While you drown in the blame
You had my fire, my faith, my heart
But you shattered it for the thrill
And the best part of you’s still here with me—
Growing into what you’ll never be
The song ended, and I continued to stare at the TV, my pulse roaring in my ears. She’d called me out. She’d told millions of people about our shit. My rosebud. What. The. Fuck.
“It’s OK, man,” E said, his voice soft. “It’s just a song. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“She told everyone I pinned her down and fucked her on a dirty bathroom floor,” I said, my voice shaking, the vague memory of that night still in my head. It was the last time I’d fucked her. The last time I’d kissed her. It was just… the last time.
The song ended to thunderous applause before the arena went dark, and a music video on a massive monitor behind the back switched on.
Her new music video.
I sure fucking hope it wasn’t about me again. I’d go to her next show and punch Anson in the face just because I could. She could sing about me kicking her new bestie’s ass.
I was a little bitter.
A pretty garden came onto the screen before an image of her snuggled up to a guy I recognized. His name was Fabian Henry, and he was a big Hollywood star. Of course, he had his fucking hands and lips on my girl in the video.
You wore your chaos like a second skin
Lit up the dark, then you dragged me in
Said I was yours in a broken way
Like I could make all your demons obey
I watched you drown in a high you chased
Kissed every scar that you wouldn’t face
I gave you breath when you couldn’t breathe
But you were addicted to everything but me
I chanced a look at E, noting the eerie similarities of the song to her relationship with him, right down to him destroying shit in some of his wild rages.
He frowned and sat forward.
Good. Now he knew what it felt like.
We watched the video play, her words sending shivers down my spine. It finally ended, and the arena went black again.
I didn’t move for a moment before I looked over at E. That song had definitely been about him. The video of her leaving a drug addict, too. In the video, she’d kissed Fabian in the snow, made love to him, and talked about trying to save him before she walked away for good.
“Well, that sucked,” E muttered, scrubbing his hand down his face.
“Now you know how it feels,” I said, shaking my head.
His brows crinkled for a moment before he looked at me. “You don’t think she only thinks of me like that now, do you?”
“Do you?” I countered.
He grunted. “Fuck. That’s messed up. I’m not that guy anymore.”
“She remembers that E.” I shrugged, feeling a little better to not be the only one singled out.
It was nice that we were doing team building like this. I really fucking hoped she tore Enzo a new one so he’d reach out to her.
And then….
Well, I had to have hope, or I didn’t have shit.