Chapter 20 Ethan #2
“I could be,” I whispered, the feelings crushing me.
I knew I could never be. Not now. She was married, for fuck’s sake.
Plus, it would be a mess. I had a son. I had Cole and Enzo, too.
They’d lose it if they found out I managed to get her back from under them and was going to run off into the sunset with her.
Cole more than Enzo, since he seemed checked out on the entire thing.
Plus, I was going to take Cole’s place on the contract.
This whole thing with Rosalie was just wishful thinking.
“We should keep things on a friendly level,” she said, her voice wavering. “Remember what we talked about in that coffee shop?”
“We wouldn’t ask one another to leave their life. One conversation with you has me coming back to life after being dead for so long,” I admitted.
“Then maybe talking isn’t a good idea.”
“I’m not going to wait until you have your first kid to message you and congratulate you, Rosalie. We can be adults. I’d rather have you as my friend than nothing,” I said fiercely, meaning it. Although if Church agreed to the new contract, I wouldn’t even be able to be her friend.
She was quiet again.
“Rosalie?” I ventured carefully.
“Sorry. Yeah. Let’s just talk. Friends. Um, how is everything? No dating? Nothing?”
“Nothing,” I admitted.
“Why?”
I shrugged as if she could see me. “I have no desire for it. I’m good the way I am.”
“Aren’t you lonely?”
“No.” I laughed. “Trust me. I’m pretty busy. There’s no time for loneliness.” I paused. “I mean, I guess sometimes the nights are lonely, but, and forgive me for saying it, it’s only ever been you.”
“Oh. You haven’t been with anyone since…?”
“Not since we broke up,” I said gently. “It doesn’t matter, though. I’m better off this way. I am happy, even if it sounds like it’s dull and uneventful.”
“That’s a good thing,” she said. “I’m glad you’re doing well. That you’re happy. I’ve always wondered. I-I always worried about you.”
“You can call or text me whenever you want. I’m never too busy for you.” Fuck, I’d have to ask Church if he were open to further negotiating the contract. Now that I had her on the line, I wasn’t so sure I could let her go.
She breathed out. “I might.”
“I would love it if you did. Maybe someday I can meet your husband. Evan. We-We might be able to be friends.” I winced at how pathetic I sounded.
“Um, yeah. Maybe. Evan is… he’s not very social. He prefers his solitude. It’s just how he is.”
“I get it. I’m just saying I’d like to get to know him, maybe. I’m sure if you are talking to me, he’d want to know about me, too. I don’t want to be stepping on any toes.”
“Sure. Yeah. You’re right.”
“So… what does Evan do? For work?” Since I was here, even if it was painful to talk about, I wanted to know. I was desperate for the conversation not to end.
“Oh. He’s a writer. Um, one of his works is coming to theaters. Westin Pictures picked it up.”
“Wow,” I said, impressed. “That’s incredible. Congratulations to him.”
“He’s super excited,” she said, her mood shifting. My guts lurched. It was clear she loved the guy and was proud of him. “They’re doing all the casting for it over the next few weeks and will start filming soon.”
“What’s it about?”
“It’s this sci-fi story about aliens invading and how one of the aliens falls in love with a human, and he has to choose between saving his world or hers. It’s an action love story.”
“It sounds really good. I’ll keep an eye out for it.”
“Yeah, I’m excited to see it come to the big screen. I was asked to write some music for it.”
“Awesome. That’s really cool.” We were both quiet again.
“How are Enzo and Cole?” she finally asked.
I blew out a breath. I didn’t want to tell her that Cole was a damn mess over her yet. “Good. They’re good. Busy, like me.”
“I-I heard Enzo’s wife died.”
I tightened my hand into a fist. “She did.”
“You don’t sound upset over it.”
“I’m not. She was a cunt,” I said fiercely. I closed my eyes. “Sorry. I just really hated her.”
“I know,” she murmured. “Sorry I brought it up. I guess I just wanted to know that Enzo and Cole were OK after losing her.”
I raked my fingers through my hair. “They’re fine. They bounce back quickly. You know how they are.”
“I don’t.” She let out a soft laugh. “Not anymore, but I will take your word for it.”
“It was an adjustment period after. Enzo is busy. He heads Rustic Rifles now and does all his other shit. He’s one of the richest men in the world these days.”
“I’ve heard,” she said softly. “To the top, just like he wanted.”
“Indeed.” I swallowed thickly.
“And Cole? How is he?”
“Cole is Cole. Little crazier these days, but I expect nothing less from him. He finished school and is doing his residency. He’s basically a doctor.” I paused, deciding fuck it. “They miss you, too.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “Right.”
“They do. Cole follows everything you do—”
“Ethan, it doesn’t matter. I-I don’t care, but I am happy Cole kept working and finished school. He was always so smart. It’s good.” She laughed softly. “Doctor Scott. It has a nice ring to it.”
I smiled. “It does. I have a degree in chemistry now. So there’s that. I recently got my PhD in medicinal chemistry. Worked my ass off to get it. Fast-tracked it. I will forever be grateful for all your tutoring in high school.”
“Oh, congrats! I did hear that. Doctor Masters! Wow. That’s so awesome, Ethan. I’m proud of you. Um…”
I chuckled. “Thanks. I still make the drugs if that’s your next question.”
“I figured, but you said you don’t use…?”
“Nah. Not like I did. I’m not like that anymore. Haven’t in forever. I’ve changed a lot.”
“That’s really good. I am proud of you. I really am. You sound so… good.” Her voice was soft.
“Thanks.” I felt her words in my chest, and they made me feel good about myself. I’d been pretty sober since the night Celeste attacked my son. He needed me. I wouldn’t be a worthless piece of shit like my old man had been. It was a vow I took seriously.
“Um, I’m actually coming to Chicago in a few weeks. It might be nice to see you if you have the time. I mean, I don’t want to pull you away—”
“I’ll be there,” I said immediately, my heart racing. “If I can get tickets. I think I saw your show was sold out.”
“It is,” she replied. “Do you still use the same email?”
“Yeah.”
I heard her typing quickly before she spoke again.
“Check your email.”
I put her on speakerphone and opened my email app to see that she’d sent me a ticket confirmation.
“Really?” I asked.
“Like I said, it would be nice to see you. I’m actually going to be there for an extra day since I’m doing two shows. Anson is going to watch a band play in the city after the concert. He’s scouting them. We can meet up after the show. Have some coffee if I can get away from security.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said. “I’m really excited. You can bring Evan, too, if it would give him ease.”
“Uh, I don’t think so. He won’t be able to make the show. He’s not a fan of Chicago. But it’s OK. I’ll talk to Ani and let him know we’re meeting. I’m sure he will find a way to make it work.”
I could hear the smile in her voice, and that made me even more anxious to see her. “We could get dinner before you head back. I haven’t seen Anson in forever—”
“I won’t be able to,” she said. “I’m meeting with, um, my brother and his family for dinner.”
“Dante,” I murmured.
“Yeah. He said you guys knew.”
“We are aware. He’s… rough.”
“He’s fair,” she corrected. “And a good man.”
I wouldn’t go that far, but I didn’t say so. I had a history with Dante. I thought he was a decent guy, but then Fox died, and everything I thought about him turned to dust. I wondered if Rosalie knew Dante had a hand in Fox’s death.
“I guess I don’t know him the way you do.”
“Yeah. Makes sense,” she murmured. “It’s a good thing you don’t know him well because that would mean you’re in trouble.”
“He is king of the underground,” I said tightly. “I try to stay out of his way.”
She yawned, and I immediately pictured her looking so sweet in her pink pajamas, her wild curls cascading around her. If we were still together, I’d be kissing her and tucking her into bed beside me. The thought made my heart hurt.
I really thought I was doing better, but I guess old habits die hard.
“You should sleep,” I said gently. “We can talk tomorrow or whenever.”
“Mm, yeah.” She yawned again. “Sorry. I’m almost done with this tour.
It’s so tiring. I’m not a fan of a new hotel room every night.
All the packing, unpacking, and moving around.
It’s one of the things I hate most. I tried the tour bus, but I just couldn’t be with the guys.
They’re just… loud. Ani said we will have to do it for the last leg of the trip, though. ”
“I bet.” I assumed she was talking about her band.
“We’ll talk tomorrow, OK?”
“OK,” I agreed, really hoping she was telling me the truth. “Tomorrow.”
“Cherry, you fucking little firecracker. We’re going out, and your ass is coming with us!” A deep voice boomed out over the line.
She groaned, and there was shuffling.
“Cassius, no,” she said with a laugh. “I’m not.”
“Who the fuck are you talking to? It’s party time. You promised. Is that Evan? Tell him it’s party time. He’ll understand. Come on. Put pants on. Let’s go! Ryder and Trent are coming with. Anson gave the green light.”
I listened as she laughed and argued with the guy I was sure played in her band.
She squealed for a moment before a deep voice came on the line.
“Evan, it’s party time, bitch—”
“Hey,” I said, clearing my throat.
“Oh shit. Fuck, Cherry. My bad.” The guy laughed. “Hey, bud. I’m Cassius. I’m the guitarist. I’m the object of Rosalie’s obsession. She dreams about me each night—”
“Nice to meet you,” I said awkwardly.
“How do you know our Cherry?” He pressed. I could hear her in the background demanding that he give her the phone, and him laughing at whatever she was trying to do.
“We’re friends. Since high school.”
“Ah, OK. That’s cool. She’s married, so don’t get any weird ideas.”
“Right. To Evan. I’m aware,” I said.
“Evan would beat your ass. I mean, Anson. Fuck, my bad. I’m so fucking wasted, man.
Did she tell you he does Krav Maga with Anson and fucks shit up with Silat?
Dude carries a bat and would beat your ass if you got too close.
No lie, dude. The guy is ripped as fuck.
Trust me, you don’t want him on your doorstep.
Head-to-toe tats and a bad attitude regarding our little firecracker.
Plus, he’s hot as hell. I’d lick his abs if Rosalie would move aside long enough—
“Cassius,” Rosalie shouted. “Knock it off.”
“I’m just putting it out there. We don’t need a scandal. You told him you’re married to Anson, right? Or Evan?”
“There won’t be a scandal. Yours overshadow everyone else’s anyway. You’re drunk. Get out of here.”
He let out a loud laugh. “Touché. Get ready. High school friend, it was nice meeting you. No nudes, bro, unless you’re sending to me too.”
I blinked rapidly as Rosalie came back on the line.
“I’m so sorry about him. That’s Cassius. He’s… wild.”
“I can tell,” I said. “I’ll let you go so you can watch him. He probably needs it.”
She laughed at that. “He does. He’s really protective of me. I’m his cash cow.”
“Miss Bishop!” Cassius’s voice boomed out. “How dare you speak the truth!”
She laughed again. “It was nice talking to you. Really. We’ll talk soon. Promise. Night, Ethan.”
“Night, sweetheart,” I whispered as the call disconnected with a soft click before she could hear me.
I sighed and flopped back on my bed.
I couldn’t believe she’d taken my call. A smile tugged at my lips.
At least she didn’t hate me.
Yet.
My heart squeezed as I thought about what she’d think if she found out about Laz. How I’d… fuck.
It didn’t matter.
One day at a time. If this contract went through with Church, I’d only have so many of them to make her see I wasn’t the piece of shit I used to be.