Chapter 30 Ethan
ETHAN
Old habits really did die hard, it seemed, because I opened the door for us to the pizza joint and caught up to her quickly, my hand landing on her lower back.
Fuck, she was beautiful. And so tiny. Had she always been this small?
I realized what I was doing and let my hand fall away as my heart pounded a rhythm in my chest.
Leading her to a table, we sat across from one another. We didn’t say a word as the waitress came over.
“We close in thirty minutes,” she said tiredly.
“That’s fine,” I said. “We can order and get it to go.” I looked at Rosalie. “Is that OK?”
She nodded.
The waitress glanced at her and did a double-take.
“Holy shit. You’re Bishop.” She gaped at her.
“Uh, yeah.” Rosalie gave her an awkward smile.
“We’re out for dinner after her show,” I explained, jumping in because I knew her nervous tells. “We’d like to just have some pizza and not have others know we’re here if that’s OK.”
“You’re not Anson,” the waitress said, narrowing her eyes at me.
“I’m not. I’m head of her security tonight.” My voice took on a no-nonsense tone.
“Ooh, OK.” The waitress nodded quickly. “We can definitely stay open if you want to eat here—”
“Oh, no, that’s OK.” Rosalie said, waving off her offer. “I don’t want to do that to you. It’s late. You should go home and rest. I used to wait tables, so I know how bad your feet can kill.”
She nodded at her. “But we can stay open—”
“We’ll just order and go. Thank you for the offer,” I said, checking her name tag. “Chelsea.”
She beamed at me. “OK. Um, yeah. Take your time. Our menu is right here—”
“We will have a large pie, all vegetables, and an order of breadsticks,” I said immediately, remembering Rosalie’s pizza order.
“OK. OK. Sure.” She scribbled it down quickly.
“To go,” I reiterated.
Chelsea nodded before babbling about hurrying with our order. She rushed away, leaving me with Rosalie.
“It’s always like that, huh?” I asked.
She nodded. “Ani usually handles it. I can get tongue-tied when I’m in public.”
I smiled at her sweetness. She definitely hadn’t changed in that respect. Knowing we’d been replaced hurt like hell, but she deserved to find happiness. It sucked, though, for various reasons I didn’t want to think about.
“No worries. I got you tonight.”
She breathed out and swallowed. “Um, so how are you?”
“I’m well. How are you?”
“I-I’m good. Tired.”
“Your show was incredible. I was blown away. You’re magic on stage, Rosalie. Truly meant to be there.”
Her cheeks stained red at my compliment, much to my delight. “Thank you.”
“Although hearing you hate on me can get tough. How many times have you killed me with your lyrics?” I mused.
She widened her eyes at me. “I-It’s not like tha—”
I chuckled. “I’m messing with you. I deserve the heat. I was a fucking mess back then.”
“You don’t seem like a mess now,” she ventured.
“I have my moments.” I continued to smile at her. “But I’m not the same guy I once was.”
“I’m not the same either,” she said.
“Then I am looking forward to getting to know you now.”
“Well, you have all night.”
I smiled wider at that. “That I do, sweetheart. That I do.”
“You look so different,” Rosalie mused, her eyes raking over me. “You’re all grown up.”
We’d gotten our pizza to go and had made it to the lake, where we sat in the front seat and stared out at the water after eating.
I smiled at her words. “Still me, sweetheart.”
Her cheeks stained my favorite shade of red in the moonlight, and my heart jumped hard in my chest.
“You look different, too. Smaller than I remember.”
“Smaller?” She raised an eyebrow at me.
“Shorter. Just tiny all around. I guess it’s been a long time.”
She chuckled at that, and I relaxed a bit.
“Your show really was amazing tonight. I had a lot of fun,” I continued.
“Yeah?” Her smile widened. “Cassius setting Vic’s stuff on fire didn’t ruin it?”
I laughed. “He’s pretty wild, huh?”
She laughed with me and nodded. “He really is. I love him to pieces, though. Keeps all of us on our toes.”
“That’s good. Never a dull moment then.”
“Never.” She continued to smile at me.
“Fuck, Rosalie. Can I just hug you again?”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
I knew what she was thinking. I hadn’t been able to touch her all those years ago. My trauma wouldn’t let it happen, but I wasn’t that guy anymore.
I nodded and opened my arms for her.
Immediately, she was against my chest, clinging to me.
I held her tightly and closed my eyes as she twisted her fingers into my shirt.
“I’ve missed you so damn much,” I whispered. “I’m grateful for this moment with you. Thank you for giving it to me.”
“Thank you for showing up,” she replied. “I’ve missed you, too. I was grateful when you messaged me.”
We broke apart, and I instinctively reached out and wiped away her tears.
“Always so pretty, even in tears,” I murmured. “But don’t cry, sweetheart. All is well.”
“I-It is well.”
“Tell me everything. I feel like I’ve missed so much,” I said.
She sniffled and pulled away from me, her gaze fixed out at the lake.
“It’s just been a whirlwind,” she finally murmured. “It’s like a whole different life. It happened fast. Ani made my dreams come true. One minute I was this broken girl who wanted to die, and the next minute, I was married to the man of my dreams and performing at the Grammys.”
I winced at her mentioning being married to the man of her dreams. I didn’t like that she didn’t think of Fox like that, but I didn’t comment on it. Fighting or upsetting her wasn’t what I wanted to do.
She looked at me. “What about you? How have things been?”
I shrugged. “I’ve been good. The first few months were rough, but after that, everything changed. I changed. I didn’t want to be the sad, moping addict anymore. I wanted to be better. So, I did it. Here I am.”
She stared at me, making my heart pitter-patter.
“I, uh, was offered a position at Mayfair as a professor,” I said. “I-I think I’m going to take it.”
She widened her eyes at that. “Really? That’s amazing, Ethan!”
I smiled. “Yeah, I mean, I enjoy being there and working. I do a lot with the research department there. They think I’m kind of a big deal,” I said.
“You are a big deal,” she corrected. “Always have been.”
“Oh, Rosalie.” I blew out a breath. “You’ve always been my number one fan.”
“I like your hits.” She winked at me, making me chuckle.
“I won’t lie to you, but I don’t need the money from working at Mayfair. I consult and all that, but I make a shit ton with sugar.”
“I figured you were still doing that,” she said, her smile now shaky.
“I am,” I admitted. “I save lives with it. You can’t overdose. You can’t get addicted. I rarely use it. In fact, it’s been over a year since I had any.”
“I’m proud of you,” she said. “Really. You’re… incredible.”
“Thank you.” I shifted in my seat. “Secretly, I always wanted to reach out to you, but with everything…” my voice trailed off. “I honestly figured you were better off without me. I was such a pain in the ass.”
She shook her head. “No. I never viewed you that way. Ever. Please don’t think that.”
“Well, I viewed myself that way, but it doesn’t matter now because I’m not that guy anymore. I buried him long ago.”
We were both quiet for a moment.
“It still feels like us, doesn’t it?” she whispered.
“It does,” I admitted. “I’m actually dreading letting you go. I don’t want to let you go. I’m worried it’ll be another five years before I see you again. Can I keep you?”
She laughed at that, tears glimmering in her eyes. “I think people will notice if I go missing.”
“Right. Husband. And Anson.” I stared into her pretty eyes. I reached out and wiped her tears away. “Hey, no tears, pretty girl.”
She nodded and looked down, but I slid my fingers beneath her jaw.
“Look at me,” I murmured.
She did so, her plump lips parted.
God, what I wouldn’t give to kiss her soft lips just one more time. To hold her like I used to. To whisper to her all the things I loved about her.
“Everything will be OK,” I said instead. “I promise, Rosalie.”
She nodded, another tear slipping free. “I believe you.”
“Good.” I tucked a rogue curl behind her ear.
“I-I like your car. It’s nice,” she said, sniffling. I knew she was trying to change the subject, and I’d let her because this shit was killing me, too.
“Thanks. I got it a few months ago. Sort of outgrew my car. Well, my second car. I kept the Camry. Old times and all that. Figured a Range Rover is a sensible vehicle.”
“I like it. It suits you.”
“Yeah? Cole told me I look like a yuppie bitch in it.”
She shook her head. “I’m sure he’s still driving around in his Porsche.”
I shrugged and looked down at my phone as it buzzed on my lap. “He has a McLaren now. And several other cars. I think he has one for every day of the month. He’s become a bit of an enthusiast.”
She didn’t say anything at that. I glanced over to see her staring out the window. She likely didn’t want to talk about Cole, so I opted to change the subject. I didn’t bother checking my phone. I told the guys not to call me.
“Uh, so Anson is out tonight?”
“Yeah. He’s checking out a new band at Grimers.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. I had so many damn questions for her. Via text, she could say anything, and I’d believe her because I couldn’t see her face or body. But now… I knew her in person better than she knew herself.
Deciding to hell with it, I asked one of the questions that had been eating at me.
“So did anything ever happen with you two? I mean, before you got married. Like when we split?”
She was quiet for so long, I didn’t think she’d answer me.
“Yeah,” she finally said.
I nodded, my throat tight. “You guys stayed friends after, huh?”
She blew out a breath. “Yeah. I mean, it was rough because I was so lost back then. But to be more precise, I never had sex with Anson until…” her voice trailed off.
“All we did was kiss and make out one drunken night. That’s why I moved out of his place.
He was supposed to marry Bianca. It didn’t feel right to be doing that. So I left.”