CHAPTER 35
GRAYSON
M aybe the boots were too much.
It feels like we’re moving out of the safety of the friends with benefits zone and dangerously further into relationship territory.
At the time, I didn’t think of how buying Liv boots as a gift could perhaps confuse things, but looking at it now, I can see how it may be a little misleading. I’m so far out of my depth here it’s not even funny.
I watch as Liv pulls on her new shoes and stands, testing the feel of them on her feet before turning to me with a smile. “Are you ready to go?”
I nod. “Yeah. Do you know how to mount?”
She looks between me and the two horses I’ve tacked up for us before a sly, knowing grin appears on her lips. “I heard no complaints from you,” she says before winking at me.
A surprised laugh bursts out of me, and she quickly follows, breaking the earlier awkwardness between us.
I move towards Storm, double checking the saddle is secure. “This is Storm. She’s my personal horse, and I trust her with my life, so you’ll be safe with her, okay?”
Liv eyes the horse behind me. “Is that Casper?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“He looks so different.”
I turn to look at the stallion with pride. “He’s come a long way. Finally getting his weight up. Todays only the second time I’m riding him, so we’ll take it slow.”
I approach her from behind and place my hands on her waist. Her breath hitches as my fingers twitch at the feel of her curves beneath my grip and I revel in the visceral reaction my touch draws from her. Memories of the way she felt as I held on to her as I fucked her from behind assault me and my dick hardens against the zipper of my jeans.
I clear my throat before speaking into her ear. “You need to put one foot in the stirrup and hoist yourself up and over. I’ll help you, okay?”
She shivers against me as my breath brushes against her ear before she gives me a small nod. She does as instructed, mounting Storm without any mishaps, which is surprising given the fact that both of our bodies are wound tight with pent up arousal.
Once I’m certain she’s settled on Storm, I untie her and Casper before climbing up on the horse and guiding us away from the barn slowly.
Caspers gait is cautious at first as we fall into step with Olivia and Storm. His ears twitch back and forth in observation as he becomes accustomed to the new surroundings.
I’ve kept his training only in the round pen, and this will be the first time he has explored any further than that so I’m extra mindful of anything that could possibly spook him.
I lead us towards the back of the ranch where the creek runs along the bottom of the sprawling hills butting up against the mountains. The ride takes around an hour and a half at the pace we’re moving, but the awe on Liv’s face as she takes everything in makes the journey worth every minute. Her eyes shine with happiness as the wind blows her long, dark strands around her face.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” she says breathlessly.
I don’t take my eyes off her as I respond. “Yeah, it is.”
“You must’ve loved growing up here.”
I come to a stop next to a tree beside the creek and climb off Casper, tying him off on a low branch before repeating the action with Storm and helping Liv down. “I did. You never get bored, that’s for sure.”
“No, I don’t imagine you would,” she says, running her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame it.
“What was it like growing up in London?” I ask as I grab two cans of soda from the bag strapped to Storm and pass Liv one.
Liv contemplates her answer a moment. “It was okay, I guess. I had friends and family and school, but nothing like this. It’s city life. It’s busy and hectic and absolute chaos and I loved it at the time,” she spins, taking in her surroundings, “but that was before I’d experienced this. I don’t think I could ever go back to living in the city after living somewhere so beautiful.”
I frown a little. “You think about going back?”
She turns to face me and shrugs. “Sometimes. After Savannah started getting serious with Hunter, I very briefly wondered whether I should stay or not. I know I’ll have to go back eventually to sell my parent’s house, but I don’t plan on staying there. ”
“When do you think you’ll sell?” I ask as I take a seat in the grass next to the water.
Liv sits down beside me before answering. “I don’t know. It’s something that weighs heavily on my conscience. I know I need to pull on my big girl pants and do it, I just… can’t. Every time I’ve attempted or even thought about going back to their house, I freeze up.”
I nod along in understanding. “I know exactly what you mean. It took me a very long time to go to Reuben’s grave after his funeral.”
She assesses my face. “Really?”
“Yeah. I just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he was down there. I couldn’t look at his parent’s or his daughter. They all just reminded me of him, and I had tricked myself into believing that if I stayed away from them all then I could live in a state of denial.”
“You mean you avoided them so you could go on living like he wasn’t gone?” she asks, her tone free of judgement.
I nod and sigh. “Yeah. It’s pretty fucked up.”
Liv shakes her head. “It’s not fucked up. It was just your way of coping. Everyone grieves differently, Gray. You chose to avoid anything that would remind you he was gone, and I chose not to step foot in my childhood home because I’m afraid it won’t feel the same without them there.”
I guess she’s right. I mean, I know she’s right. It just took me a long time to realise that what I was doing wasn’t normal. “But you can’t live like that forever, Liv. I thought I could, but all I was doing was hurting Reuben’s family and myself in the process.”
She blows out a long breath. “I know. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough.”
I don’t know why I do it, but I wrap one arm around her shoulder and pull her into me, placing a kiss on her head. “ You’re one of the strongest, fiercest women I’ve ever met, Blue.”
She looks up at me through a thick layer of lashes. “Damn, cowboy. That almost sounded like a compliment,” she laughs.
I shake my head with an amused smirk. “It was. Don’t get used to it.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
We sit like that until the sun sets behind the mountains and the air grows chillier. Liv shivers against me and I take off my jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders before helping her stand. She manages to mount Storm on her own this time and her face beams with a smile so infectious I find myself smiling right along with her.
We make the long ride back to the barn in content silence and when I reemerge from the stalls after making sure the horses are secure to find Liv waiting by her car, I feel an overwhelming urge to convince her to stay.
She watches me as I approach her and come to a stop, placing my hands in my pockets and rocking on the heels awkwardly. “Are you, uh… hungry?”
One side of Livs mouth kicks up in amusement as she shrugs. “I suppose I could eat.”
“I’m making Philly cheesesteaks,” I say, hoping she’ll understand my invitation. The teasing twinkle in her eyes tells me she understands just fine but plans to make me work for it.
“Sounds good,” she says, still not moving from her car.
I let out a huff. “You’re not gonna make this easy for me, are you?”
She shakes her head with a smile. “No way.”
I roll my eyes. “Do you want to have dinner with me, Olivia? ”
“I’d love to,” she responds with a shit-eating grin as she skips past me towards my house. I shake my head incredulously as I follow behind her.
This woman will be the death of me.