CHAPTER 53
GRAYSON
M y phone rings on the coffee table, but I ignore it.
It’ll only be Hunter again, trying to find out why I’m not working.
I don’t need to explain my reasonings to him. As far as I’m concerned, my brother betrayed me. He made a choice not to tell me Liv was leaving.
I understand her not telling me. She doesn’t owe me shit.
But for my brother to keep his mouth shut… that feels shitty.
It feels like a punishment. Because I worried everyone when I disappeared after the accident. Because I hurt Savannahs friend.
Whether it’s justified or not, it fucking sucks.
It’s been a week since I found out she had left, and I’ve been hiding out in my house the entire time. I’ve tried calling her several times now, but it always goes to voicemail, so she’s either blocked me or changed her number altogether. Neither option is great.
It’s funny how the tables can turn so quickly.
A week ago, I was preparing to walk away from Liv for good. And I was at peace with my decision.
I was so confident I was doing the right thing for the both of us, even though it meant subjecting myself to the heartache that came with it. Because in my mind, that was better than ever having to deal with the pain that would come if I ever outlived her.
I was so fucking wrong.
After spending the last week knowing what it feels like for her to really be out of reach, I would rather take that risk and have her than have to live the rest of my life knowing that she’s out there and I might never see her again.
The thought of her sitting in my parents dining room, her head hung in embarrassment, being the last time that I might ever lay eyes on her makes me sick to my fucking stomach.
How could I be so cowardly?
She was right there .
All I had to do was man the fuck up and say something. I could have told her I was sorry. That I was scared. I could have fucking admitted that despite everything I said in the beginning, I was madly in love with her.
But I didn’t.
I did what I always do. I ran away. Well, actually, I puked my guts up in my moms rose bush and then I ran away.
And I’m doing it again now.
Instead of confronting my brother, or simply asking Savannah for help, I’m hiding in my house and drowning my sorrows in a bottle of fucking whiskey.
This is my rock bottom.
A knock sounds at my door, and I drop my head back against the sofa with a sigh.
He’s a persistent motherfucker, my brother .
I have every intention of ignoring it when Killian’s voice comes from the other side. “Gray, open the door.”
I shake my head and stand, dragging my sorry ass to the door and opening it.
His eyes rake over my body before landing on mine. “You look like shit, man.”
“Thanks.”
He pats my shoulder and pushes past me, letting himself in to my house. “Come on in why don’t you.”
He makes his way to my sofa and sits, reaching for the bottle of whiskey. “You know, this ain’t gonna help you.”
I shrug. “It might if I drink enough.”
He shakes his head and takes a shot directly from the bottle. I return to the seat I’ve been occupying and stare at him. “Why are you here?”
“Because I am the only person in this town that understands the way you feel right now.”
I slump against my seat, the fight leaving me as his words register. He’s not wrong. If anyone can sympathise with the way I feel right now, it’s him.
“I don’t know what to do, man.”
He gives me a tight smile. “I can’t tell you what to do, Gray, but I can give you some advice.”
“Go on,” I say.
“First of all, do you love her?” he asks and there’s no hesitation before I respond.
“I do.”
He nods once. “Good. Don’t do what I did. Don’t let her walk away without a fight. It’s the biggest mistake I have ever made, and I have been paying for it every day since.”
“She’s already gone, Kill. I can’t fight for someone that isn’t here. ”
He shakes his head at me in disappointment. “She’s not fucking dead, Grayson. As long as she’s breathing and walking this earth, you can fight for her.”
“I’ve tried contacting her. Her number is dead.” I argue.
He lets out a frustrated breath and stands. “Then try harder. Her best friend lives five minutes from your front porch. Stop fucking hiding like a pussy and do something about it. You’re not going to find the solution to your problems in the bottom of that bottle.”
He turns and walks towards the front door, and I follow him. “Kill?”
He pauses and turns to me. “Yeah?”
“Maybe you should take your own advice. Daisy may have left, but she came back.”
He gives me a tight smile and nods before turning and leaving just as quickly as he entered.
I run the entire conversation through my head again as I try to come up with ways that I can heed his advice and somehow get my girl back.