Chapter 39
LILA
The following morning, I sipped my decaffeinated coffee at the kitchen counter, staring at nothing. I’d already showered and tidied around the house, and now I was at a loss for what to do next.
I was going for dinner at Victor’s mom’s house with Vanessa later, but it was several hours until then. The weather seemed nice, but blowy. It had rained heavily through the night, and I had snuggled deeper into bed at the thought of being outside in it.
No, thank you.
My gaze fell on a pair of work boots kicked off near the door, a small, muddy puddle surrounding them. They were on the mat at least, but they were soaked. Did Victor walk home or something?
Why do you care? Fuck him.
Still, I couldn’t take my eyes away from them. I hadn’t heard him come home; he must’ve been really quiet. I was a light sleeper, and I hadn’t heard a thing.
I still couldn’t believe he was sleeping in the spare room. Here, in this house, sharing space with me.
It was wild.
Who divorced their husband then moved him back in? Me.
It was a good job I had though, because I hadn’t managed to pick up any extra shifts this week. I’d told them about the pregnancy, and now suddenly there were hardly any shifts available. It made me uncomfortable, like a snake was making its way up my pant leg.
Could it be because I was pregnant? Surely not; there were rules against discrimination. Pregnant women included.
At least, it meant I had a break though, and hadn’t needed to book any time off for the scan.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of the scan, now only two days away. I couldn’t wait to see the baby because then it would feel real.
I rinsed my coffee cup and left it on the side. It didn’t perk me up without the caffeine; it was more of a habit than anything else. I walked upstairs, pausing when I reached the top.
Victor’s door was open. My brows knitted together—why would he leave his door open?
But I knew why.
It was in case anyone broke in or if I needed him. He’d always been security conscious.
My feet made their way down the hall, stopping when I stood outside the spare room.
What am I doing?!
I just wanted to see him. To see him without him knowing I was there, without me having to wear a mask and hide my fury and tears.
I just wanted to look at him.
It’s sad, but true.
I pushed the door open further; the only sound was the carpet brushing under the door’s movement. I inhaled his scent as I walked in, shaking my head as I did.
What the fuck was I doing, sniffing the air like a creep?
His damp jacket was slung on the floor, and he was asleep on the bed, a hand thrown over his eyes. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, his lips slightly parted.
He was so pale. I stepped closer, noticing goosebumps on his skin. He didn’t have a duvet around him—he was sleeping on it. It was like he’d just passed out when he’d walked in.
Concern niggled at me, and I couldn’t fight it. Maybe it was the fact I was pregnant, but I went into my room and grabbed a couple of blankets, draping them over him so he wasn’t so cold. He coughed and I nearly jumped out of my skin, but the cough sounded worse than yesterday.
He was getting sick.
I glanced back at the jacket on the floor, noticing how soaked it was.
I lifted it, hanging it on the door so it had a better chance of drying. I looked back at Victor, and my heart broke for the millionth time.
We could’ve had it all.
“Lila.”
I froze at the sound of my name leaving his lips.
Fuck!
He’d seen me in his room. What could I say? That I was just looking at him?
Fuck!
But when I turned, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment, I saw him on his side, still fast asleep. However, his lips were moving.
“Sorry. So…sorry.”
I could barely breathe as I made out the sleepy words, words intended for me, but not for me. He was sorry.
I stared at him until my brain forced my legs to move, carrying me from the room before I did something stupid.
Something I’d regret.
“So am I,” I whispered so faintly I could barely hear it myself.