13. Day 211 – Theo
Day 211 – Theo
“R emember what we agreed. Slowly.”
My palms feel slick with sweat. Oscar turns, scanning us. His eyes land on me with a silent question, and I nod.
One hundred and eighty-nine days.
That’s how long it’s been since we’ve been in the same space as Kenny. Since we’ve breathed the same fucking air as her.
And now it’s here… I’m not sure I’m ready.
Max bounces lightly on his feet. “Get us in there, Doc. Please.”
Jake, silent and steady at my side, bobs his head in agreement.
“Does she have to be sedated?” I ask again. Not that it matters. I know the answer will be the same.
“It was the only way the board would agree. And for this time – the first time, at least, I would agree. Let’s see how it goes.” Joanne still doesn’t look sure, even as she steps up to the door. “Fifteen minutes. The sedation won’t hold much longer than that.”
And then it opens. Those fucking suits filter out of her room, passing us with glances through their damned astronaut helmets.
They’re barely clear when Oscar moves. He darts through the door to Kenny’s space, the rest of us following.
The scent hits me first. It’s almost stale, courtesy of the air recycling unit that heats and cools the room. Underpinning it is Kenny’s scent, still touched with that wrongness. A little less now. Balanced between sweet and bitter, but I breathe it in anyway.
I turn, taking in the mirror.
This is what she sees. Not us, waiting on the other side. Kenny only sees her own reflection, all of the time.
This would drive me out of my mind.
Slowly, my head turns. I know what I’m supposed to be doing. We planned it over and over again, so each of us would get a little time with her.
With our mate.
I pull in an unsteady breath. She’s here. Right here. Pale and silent and still. So still .
Wrong .
Kenny is vibrant sunsets, a light breeze on a forest hike. Laughter and attitude, sarcasm and sweetness. Sunshine, cherries and chocolate.
Not this.
Pulling my gaze away, I focus on what we agreed.
Scent-marking. Max and Jake have already spread out, moving around the room, touching and brushing everything they can reach.
My eyes land on her corner. Our shirts are still there, crumpled and balled, and my throat tightens as I walk over and crouch down, brushing my finger over them.
“Here,” Max says roughly. He’s holding out her blue blanket. “Mark this. Maybe she’ll use it.”
I lift it to my nose. It smells like this fucking room. Concrete. Cold.
“Max,” Oscar calls. He’s gone in a second, and I listen to their murmurs without turning around.
Even our shirts have lost their scent. Standing, I yank my sweatshirt over my head, folding it up and placing it on the floor before shrugging into the old shirt and heading to the small bathing area. An open doorway separates it from the main room, but I’ve never seen inside.
Steel and concrete. Everything is bolted down - hard, cold fucking steel. There’s a small bath, a toilet, and a sink.
“It’s like a prison,” Oscar says abruptly. He’s leaning in the doorway when I turn around. Even the light above us is harsh strip lighting, just like the ones in the hall outside.
I search for the words. “If this place is like this, what are the public ones like?”
I haven’t seen them. But Oscar has. I know he went to look.
Silently, he shakes his head. It’s an answer. “We don’t have long left. Come and see her.”
One hundred and eighty-nine days without her, and all we get is a few fucking minutes. I stride out, my steps faltering as Jake turns to me.
Kenny is cradled in his arms. I didn’t realise how broad he’d grown this year. How much all of us have grown.
“Take her,” he says gruffly. “Please. I can’t… I won’t let her go otherwise.”
Breathe.
I step up, extending my hands and slipping them beneath her as Jake stands still. His shoulders are tight as he turns away, heading to join Oscar.
Leaving me with our mate.
She doesn’t like the bed.
I step away, moving back to her comfort spot and settling down on the floor. And then I close my eyes for a moment, breathing in the warm weight of Kenny against my chest. The way her breathing sounds, slow and steady.
Nestling her head in the crook of my elbow, I rest her on my lap, nudging tangled strands of red away from her face. “Hey, baby.”
I feel like I can breathe again. Even as the air shudders, catches. As my breathing turns deeper and damp. “You gonna open those eyes? Speak to me, Ken.”
She can’t – I know she can’t. But I can’t stop torturing myself anyway, murmuring words to her that I know she can’t fucking hear. My thumb strokes over her cheek. “Did you know that Jake is actually a really good chef? He does this chicken dish you’d really like. I think he made it with you in mind, you know. For when you come home.”
I can’t stop looking. Not now I’ve started. “You’re coming home soon. But you need to show us you’re there. I need to see those brown eyes, baby.”
Minutes.
“I need you to come back, Ken.” Sawdust in my throat, choking me, blurring my eyes. “I can’t live this life without you.”
When the shadow falls over us, my grip tightens. “Not yet.”
Oscar drops to a crouch. He brushes the back of his fingers over Kenny’s cheek. “They won’t let us back in if we mess this up. You know that.”
I catch his eye. “Be honest. They’re not letting us back in here anytime soon either way, Oz. They’ll say it didn’t make a difference. They’ll tie us up in paperwork for another fucking year, and she’ll be left in here, alone .”
It’s becoming clear that this isn’t a place that has her best interests at heart.
I just can’t work out why . I glance up at Max and Jake as they appear at his shoulder, keeping my voice low. “If we walk away from her with nothing to show for it, we’re not coming back in. We have to show that something is changing.”
A mechanical voice sounds. “One minute. Please wait by the doors.”
Slowly, Oscar nods. Small enough that I nearly miss it. His eyes meet mine. “Let’s get her on the bed.”
Jake catches my eye as I get up. He glances up, and I follow his gaze. The cooling system. They use it to knock her out. Nodding, I shift Kenny, placing her carefully down on the bed and stepping back to give them space while I count back in my mind, pulling off the shirt and placing it back in her spot.
She’s normally out for around forty minutes, give or take.
Twenty minutes for her care.
Fifteen minutes for us.
Wake up early, Ken. We need you.
“Please stand by the doors.” The voice sounds again, sounding slightly irritated. “Immediately.”
Max and Jake press their lips to Kenny’s forehead. Oscar shifts closer, an order in his voice. “Make it count.”
We all move over to stand by the doors. Jake lingers, glancing over his shoulder when the door opens. Then Max, hanging back and doing the same.
Oscar does the same. And then he turns in the doorway.
He takes a breath.
And slams it shut.
Spinning, I head back for the bed and lean over her. My hands press to her cheeks, tilting them. “Ken? Baby?”
The mechanical voice sounds again, but I block it out. I block everything out, except for her.
“Wake up,” I whisper. I stroke her hair, her face. “Wake up, Kenny. Please.”
I have no idea how long they’ll be able to hold the Center off. My voice grows stronger, dropping in tone. Gravel and pain and pleading. “Wake up .”
Beneath her eyelids, I spot movement.
And then they spring open.
There’s no deep pool of brown. Only that intense red looks back at me.
Calm. Keep it calm.
This could go so fucking wrong, for all of us.
“Hey,” I breathe. Her lips part. She doesn’t say anything. “It’s me, Ken. Theo.”
A low, warning growl slips from her lips. They peel back, showing off the little canines she wields as a weapon. Small, but sharp enough to rip my throat out.
Right now, I’m not the strongest predator in the room. Not by a long fucking shot.
“Not today,” I murmur, staying where I am. I keep touching her. “It’s okay.”
And then I shift back. She stays where she is, her body stiff as she watches me warily, scarlet eyes flicking around us. Assessing.
“Just you and me,” I murmur, and her head snaps back to me. “Theo. Your Theo. Because I’m yours, remember?”
Another soft snarl. As if she disagrees.
“I know,” I whisper raggedly. “We’re trying to make it right, baby. I’m trying.”
I stay still as she uncurls herself, getting off the bed to stand opposite me. Kenny’s shoulders are high, her teeth showing as she edges around the bed.
Closer. Until we’re barely a foot apart. She stares up at me.
“I’m not running.” I hold her gaze. “Not from you.”
Cautiously, I lift my hand, making sure she can see exactly what I’m doing. Her head snaps back with another snarl. But she doesn’t move.
My fingers are so careful on her cheek, as they settle against her skin. As I cup her cheek with my palm.
“I’m yours,” I say quietly. “But you’re ours too, Kennedy Traylor. And we’ll wait as long as it takes for you to see that we’ll always choose you. Every time.”
When I dare to shift closer, I pause. Sharp little daggers poke into my chest, but I don’t look down. “You gonna mark me, baby?”
She growls again, scarlet eyes not moving from mine. Her claws flex against my skin. Leaving them there, I raise my hand from her face, running it over her hair. Again, repeating it.
And at that moment, there’s no Center. No pain, or regret, or guilt.
Just me and Kenny. Like a relaxant injected straight into my bones, I feel myself soften, tension bleeding from me as a tiny, soft sound uncurls from my mate’s lips.
Her eyes don’t shift from scarlet. But she doesn’t hurt me. Doesn’t attack me.
She blinks, slowly. Her eyes start to close—
The heavy bang behind us sends her stumbling back with a whine. A line of fire opens up against my chest as I whip around, my chest heaving as my arms spread out. “ Don’t fucking touch her !”
Jake shoves between the row of puffed-up helmets, taking up the space beside me and holding up his hands placatingly. “She didn’t hurt him. You saw it.”
“Don’t say a fucking word,” I snap when a helmet looks down. I can feel the blood running down my chest. “You did that, assholes. You fucking scared her.”
Fuck – I can feel her behind me. Poised. Waiting. My neck prickles in silent warning. “Get out. Now.”
One of them points to the door. That fucking voice sounds.
“ All non-Center staff to leave the room immediately .”
“This is distressing her,” a voice snaps from the doorway. Abrams . “Staff need to leave first. Theo. Jake. You can step away once she’s settled.”
Jaw tight, I nod. “Seems reasonable.”
“Help her,” Jake whispers. “I’ll watch them.”
I don’t want to give any of them my back, but I turn slowly. Kenny stares back at me from her corner. Her hands grip the new pile of shirts, twisting them.
Crouching, I make sure to keep eye contact. “I’m just outside that door, Ken. All of us are. You’re not alone, okay? And we’re going to be back as soon as we can.”
Her head tilts. Eyes flickering. Between me, and… and the door.
“Yeah,” I whisper breathlessly. “That’s it. We’re just there, okay? And we’re coming back for you.”
She doesn’t snarl this time.
She does something worse.
She whimpers .
And it’s almost silent, and devastating, and I feel my heart shred into yet more fucking pieces, as if there was anything left. As if I’m leaving them there with her, scattered on the floor beneath the heavy boots of the Center staff as they lose patience and grab my arms, yanking me away.
I’m roaring, twisting, bucking, and Jake’s fist flies out as we both fight to get to Kenny. As more of them converge on her, as she shrinks back against the wall, her eyes finding mine in a small gap before she’s swallowed up.
“ Stop ,” I roar. There are tears on my face. “She’s not hurting anyone!”
I can’t see her anymore. And the door slams shut, sealing them away as I rip myself free, my fists banging against it. “Open the door! Open the fucking door! Kenny !”
Jake slams his hands against it, his face white. “What the fuck ?”
My chest burns as my forehand lands against the steel, my breathing heavy. “She understood me. She didn’t want us to go.”
Pivoting, I brace, but there’s nobody here. Only a shaken Abrams and Joanne, her mouth open. I point at her. “Fix this. We need to be there with her. She’s not a threat to us.”
Where the hell are Oscar and Max?
“They threw them out. They’re in the hall.” Jake braces his hands on his knees. “I stayed back to help you, but when they wouldn’t move, the security moved in.”
I push past them, yanking the door open and coming face to face with Oscar. There’s a darkness around his cheekbone that looks like a fucking fist .
“They put her to sleep,” he snaps at Joanne. “I want to see the board. Now .”
“I’ll need to arrange a meeting—,”
“Then arrange the damn meeting!” Oscar roars. “We tried it your way. For months. This is the first time we’ve had any interaction with her and she didn’t hurt us . Now we’re trying it our way, or I will bring down fucking hell on your heads.”
Joanne’s eyes flicker to my chest.
“No.” I snarl at her, and she shrinks back, clutching her clipboard. “That wasn’t her. That was them .”
Shrugging past, I move next to Max at the glass that looks into her room. His face is grim. “They locked us out.”
I stare at our reflection in the mirror. Fuck.
I barely feel it when Max turns me, hissing between his teeth. “Those are deep. We need to get them cleaned.”
I can’t even feel them. “We need a lawyer . This is insane.”
“Get one.” Abrams joins us, frowning. “I can’t say I would have advised you to do that… but it worked. We need to push this while we can. The intervention was hugely exaggerated.”
I’ll push them until they fucking topple and break.
I’m done playing by their rules.