34. Jake
Jake
I pause in the hallway, drinking it in. The scent of cooking filters out of the kitchen, the low hum of music from Max’s speaker.
It feels like a home again, mom.
I wish she was here to see it. Something settles in my chest as I reach the kitchen. Kenny twists, peeking at me from over Theo’s shoulder. He stands behind her, holding onto the pan.
Something seems to have eased between them today. I’m glad.
Oscar yawns, nodding. Passing him, I press my lips to the side of Kenny’s head. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Her cheeks pink as she glances back at the food. “You hungry? Max is in the shower, but it’s nearly ready.”
“I’ll shower after.” I get the clean plates out of the cupboard, laying the table as Kenny and Theo plate up the casserole.
Oscar yawns again. “Tired?”
“No, actually. I think I slept too much.”
Kenny lets out a small scoff. “I think you were overdue.”
Max whistles as he strolls in, making a beeline for her. “You would be correct. Did you have a good day?”
She nods. Her mouth twists wryly. “More rest.”
She needs it. But there’s already more color in her cheeks. More life. As if the Center was sucking it from her.
“You should try out the nest.” I offer her a small smile. “It was made for you. Nobody else has been in it.”
Kenny smiles, although it feels a little… off. “Maybe.”
“You have a bedroom too,” Max adds. “It’s all connected.”
And big enough that there’s plenty of space for if she’s ever ready to invite us in. Heat prickles my neck, and I push the thought away, feeling like an asshole for even thinking it.
But I didn’t sleep well without her last night. Not at all. Even her pile of blankets in the Center felt more comfortable than my own bed, because she was there.
***
I excuse myself for a shower after dinner, scrubbing off the day’s work. With my towel around my waist, I slip into my bedroom.
Pausing, my eyes sweep the room. It feels… disturbed, somehow. As if someone was just here. Weird.
I toss on a pair of sweatpants before heading downstairs. Max falls into step behind me. “Have you seen Kenny? I thought she’d gone up to the nest, but she’s not in there.”
My feet stop. “Maybe?”
“What does that mean?” He follows as I turn around and retrace my steps, heading back to my bedroom. This time, I pay more attention, breathing in.
Cherries and chocolate.
I keep my movements slow as I pull my closet door open. Big brown eyes stare back at me. Kenny’s eyes lower to where her hands are wrapped around her knees. One of my hoodies is wrapped around her shoulders like a blanket. “I… I can explain this, I promise.”
“You don’t need to explain,” I say gently. “You like my closet, you can stay in it. But if there’s something wrong with the nest, I’d like to fix it for you.”
She holds out her arms silently. Gathering her up, I lift her out and she wraps her arms around my neck. “It doesn’t smell right.”
“What do you need it to smell like?” Max asks. I follow her eyes, back to the closet.
“Us,” I say quietly. “You need it to smell like us?”
And we’ve never stayed in it. Keeping it perfectly preserved for the day she came home.
She nods, but the tension doesn’t leave her body. My lips press to her hair. “Talk to us, Kenny. We want to give you what you need.”
She bites down. “Will you stay with me? In the nest?”
My heart jumps. “Yes. Whenever you want me to. Tonight? You want everyone?”
Her head dips in a nod.
“Okay then. How about a movie first? Or a game? Or are you tired now?”
“Not tired.” She settles her cheek against me. It seems to be her preferred spot against any of us, I’ve realized. “I was just… stressing. And it felt safe in there.”
I squeeze her gently. “You come to me if you’re stressed. Or any of us, and we’ll fix it for you. Promise me.”
She’s not used to that. My mind flashes to her closet, up in the trailer. Small. Enclosed.
And I wonder how many times she’s crawled into a small space alone, trying to recreate a nest.
Fucking hell. My heart.
“I promise. I might not always remember.”
“I’ll remind you. Every time.”
She lifts her face to mine. “Thank—,”
Absolutely not.
I cut her off with my lips.
I don’t mean to. But it feels – natural. So perfectly natural to brush my lips over hers, swallowing the small sound she makes. Our lips just… fit.
Of course they do. I was made to fit with her.
Slow. Soft. Gentle. I pull back even though I want to stay right there. Kenny’s eyes are wide as she brushes a finger over her mouth. Her cheeks turn rosy.
“No thank yous,” I say gruffly. “Never to me, Ken.”
***
She hovers uncertainly in the doorway.
My hand brushes down her back. “It’s all right, Ken.”
“I’ve never had a nest before.” She whispers it, her feet edging inside. “What if I do it wrong?”
“You couldn’t do it wrong if you tried,” Oscar says. We’re all gathered, watching her. “Want us to give you some space?”
But she shakes her head. I watch as she takes a deep breath and steps completely over the doorway.
Theo reaches down for the switch, flicking it on. Rows of lights switch on above our heads, warm amber balls that light up the silky sheets that fall from the ceiling in carefully pinned waves.
She stops. “You… you made me a tent.”
“We can change it—,”
“No.” She cuts me off, turning slowly. She takes in the shelving, filled with candles and lotions. A ridiculous amount of fluffy socks. The fridge, built into the wall. The piles of bedding, blankets. All of it, for her.
And her voice shakes. “Come inside.”
It feels… momentous. The four of us spread out, waiting for her. Kenny kneels down at the edge of the bedding and shuffles forward, burying herself into it.
Her voice sounds muffled. “You can lie down.”
It takes us a few seconds to work out. Oz shifts back when we make space for him, shaking his head. He points to the edge, closest to the door. Theo silently claims the other side. So Max and I are the lucky fuckers who get to crawl in first, settling her in between us. Her fingers curl into mine as we stare up at the ceiling. “Thank—,”
“Don’t say it.” A chorus cuts her off.
And there’s a smile in her voice when she speaks again. “I don’t have to thank you.”
“No.” I press her fingers to mine. “Not ever.”