Chapter Eleven
Brigid
The hot water cascades over my skin, soothing my aching muscles. I close my eyes and let out a long breath, holding the tears back. I ’ d been so sure the ritual would work, that we ’ d have a shot at getting Rory back. The pain I felt when I failed was soul crushing. Knowing I ’ d failed Rory once again, when I was the reason he was even in the void, it was unbearable.
But then I remember how it felt to surrender control to Tiernan. For a precious moment, the weight on my shoulders lifted.
I hadn ’ t expected that from him. Tiernan always seemed so introverted. Reserved. A ripple of memory makes my belly clench as I remember him commanding me, taking all the painful thoughts away as he told me what he wanted me to do for him.
And I obeyed without hesitation, craving the release of giving in.
I shiver, despite the steam swirling around me. It should unsettle me more than it does. Instead, I find myself longing for it again - that blissful moment of letting go. His natural dominance.
Tiernan ’ s duality fascinates me. One minute he ’ s calm and serene, at one with the universe. The next he ’ s spreading me wide, telling me to beg for his cock. My mate is full of surprises.
I bite my lip, heat pooling between my legs as I lather the shampoo through my hair. Fuck, I shouldn ’ t want it this badly. But I do. I lust after the comfort of his control, even as part of me rebels against needing anyone that much.
But Tiernan made me feel like I was safe.
And for once in my life, I actually felt it.
My thoughts drift to Rory, his warm eyes and easy smile. God, I miss him. The grief in my chest feels like a physical injury.
I miss him. I miss his laugh, and seeing the way his eyes dance when he ’ s about to say something he thinks is hilarious. I miss the way he ’ d wrap his strong arms around me, making me feel protected. Safe. Maybe even loved. What would that be like? To feel loved?
“ Fuck,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against the tiles.
The contrast between Rory and Tiernan is stark. Rory ’ s gentle strength versus Tiernan ’ s commanding presence. I want them both, for entirely different reasons.
I turn off the shower, goosebumps rising as cool air hits my wet skin, then towel off quickly, and pull on my robe.
As place my hands on the countertop and stare at my reflection, I think of being with Marius the other day. He ’ s made it no secret that he wants something more from me.
We need him. I need him. His shadow magic combining with mine is somehow the key to opening the rift, the way to saving Rory. I just wish I could trust him. He ’ s already made it clear that he ’ s got absolutely no interest in saving Rory. The only thing he ’ s interested in is me, or probably more likely, my shadow magic.
“ Dammit,” I mutter, running a hand through my wet hair. “ Why does it have to be him?”
Marius is a wild card, unpredictable and ruthless. Aligning with him is a risk, but one I might have to take. For Rory. For all of us.
What I don ’ t know, is how do I convince Marius to help? What will he demand in return?
Whatever the price, I ’ ll pay it. I have to.
For Rory. For a chance to feel his arms around me again, to see that cocky smile. To bring him home.
No matter what it takes.
I pad into my bedroom, the floor cold under my bare feet. My mind ’ s a jumble of thoughts, all tangled and messy, and sleep feels impossible right now.
I flop onto the bed, and grab my sketchbook from the nightstand. Maybe if I can get this chaos out of my head and onto paper, I can actually rest, get some sleep. I ’ m still grateful that I don ’ t get the terrible headaches I used to have, before my power awakened. A very small silver lining. It occurs to me that perhaps the headaches were caused from my magic being contained within me, dormant but still present. At any rate, I ’ m thankful I don ’ t have to go through them any more.
The graphite pencil makes marks across the page, my hand moving automatically with muscle memory. I lose myself in the drawing, the scritch-scratch of pencil on paper the only sound in my quiet room. I draw for a while until I feel like I can manage my brain again.
When I look down, I can ’ t help but laugh. “ Okay, then.”
It ’ s Rory, and me, tangled together in an intimate embrace. My cheeks flush hot as I take in the details - his strong hands gripping my hips, my head thrown back in ecstasy. It ’ s erotic as hell, reminiscent of those Morrigan and Raven King murals, and just as graphic.
I trace a finger over Rory ’ s sketched face.
God, it is so hard to be without him. It sounds crazy, but it feels like a part of me is gone, separated from my body.
I snap the sketchbook closed, tossing it aside. Time to sleep, before I start bawling like an idiot. For a moment I wish I ’ d asked Tiernan to come back with me, instead of kissing him goodbye in the grove. He was strange as I was leaving though, and I ’ m now realizing that I ’ m not entirely certain he would have said yes, had I invited him.There was unquestionably a weird vibe.
There was a distance in his eyes and I don ’ t know why. Callen, Lochan, and he are all acting differently. Well, Lochan not so much, though I really thought we might have moved past his hostility. It felt like we had turned a corner. I know it ’ s probably because they blame me for Rory, and I can ’ t even be mad about that. I blame me too.
I yawn and try not to think about that, not when I ’ ve just quieted my mind enough to sleep. Slipping under the cool sheets, I let out a sigh. The silky, cool fabric feels heavenly against my bare skin. I burrow deeper, savoring the sensation.
My eyelids grow heavy, exhaustion finally catching up. And as I drift off, my last thoughts are of Rory ’ s arms around me, his lips on mine...
The world shifts, blurs. I ’ m falling, floating, sinking into inky darkness. It ’ s cold—like being submerged under a pitch black winter river. Wisps of shadow circle my skin, sending tingles down my back.
I open my eyes to a surreal landscape. Twisted trees reach toward a starless sky. Beneath my feet, the ground ripples like dark water. Everything pulses with an unearthly intensity that makes the hair on my arms stand up.
“ Brigid?”
My heart leaps at the familiar voice. I whirl around, searching.
“ Rory?” I call out, my voice echoing strangely. “ Where are you?”
A figure emerges from the shadows, solidifying as it approaches. Shaggy blond hair, brown eyes that now glow with an amber light. It ’ s him. It ’ s Rory.
“ Fuck,” I breathe. “ Is this real?”
Rory ’ s lips quirk up in that crooked smile I ’ ve missed so much.
I reach for him, desperate to touch, to make sure he ’ s solid. My fingers brush his chest and I gasp. He feels warm, alive.
“ I ’ ve been trying to reach you,” Rory says, his voice rough with emotion. “ Every night, I ’ ve called out to you. Is this really you?”
“ It ’ s me. I ’ m here now,” I whisper, cupping his face. “ I ’ m here.”
His mouth crashes into mine, hungry and desperate. I melt against him, my body remembering his touch. Our tongues tangle as his hands roam, leaving trails of heat on my skin.
“ I ’ ve missed you,” I gasp between kisses. “ So fucking much.”
Rory growls, a guttural sound that makes me shiver. He lifts me effortlessly. The darkness cradles us, soft yet alive.
“ Need you,” he murmurs, nipping at my neck. “ Wanted this for so long.”
I arch against him. My hands explore the familiar planes of his chest, tracing scars both old and new.
“ Show me,” I breathe. “ Make me yours.”
Rory ’ s eyes flash. He kisses a trail down my neck, worshipping every inch. When he reaches my inner thigh, he pauses, looking up at me with a wicked grin.
“ Mine,” he growls, then sinks his teeth into the sensitive flesh.
I cry out, pain and pleasure mingling as he marks me. The bite sends shockwaves through my body, igniting a fire in my core.
“ Rory, please,” I whimper, pulling him up to kiss me again. “ I need you inside me.”
He enters me in one swift motion, filling me completely. We both groan at the sensation. For a moment, we ’ re perfectly still, savoring our connection.
Then just as he starts to move—the world falls away.
My eyes snap open, heart pounding, but the dream lingers, Rory ’ s touch a phantom sensation across my skin. I ’ m trembling, sweaty and aching.
The pre-dawn light filters through the curtains. I blink, trying to shake off the fog of sleep and arousal. Something ’ s different. The dream felt too real, too vivid.
I lift the covers, my breath catching as I spot it - a dark bruise on my inner thigh. Exactly where Rory bit me in the dream.
I barely breathe, afraid to break the spell as I trace the mark with my fingertips. It ’ s tender, red, and most definitely real. It wasn ’ t just a dream. It was a vision, but I ’ ve never been able to make actual physical contact with anything in my visions before.
I ’ m spinning with thoughts. If I could connect with Rory, even for a moment, not only is there hope that he ’ s alive in that void, waiting for me to find him, there ’ s also proof that I can access the shadow realm despite the ritual failing..
I sit up. “ I ’ m getting you out of there, Rory. Whatever it takes.”
Marius ’ s dark eyes flash in my mind. His shadow magic is the key, I ’ m sure of it.
“ Let ’ s see how he likes being used for a change,” I mutter to the walls as I swing my legs out of bed.