Chapter Thirty-Nine
Marius
We walk for a long while in silence as I lead Brigid to a secluded clearing away from the academy. The academy doesn ’ t have wards here and it won ’ t pick up on the magic we use. It ’ s perfect for what we need to do."
There ’ s awkwardness now between us. We ’ ve fucked now, but this feels different. More intimate somehow. Brigid shifts her weight from foot to foot, not quite meeting my eyes.
“ So, uh, how do we start?” she asks.
I move closer, close enough to smell the lingering scent of her shampoo. “ First, you need to relax. Let go of your fear.”
Brigid snorts. “ Right. Is that all?”
“ I know.” I reach out, hesitating for a moment before placing my hand on her shoulder. She tenses, then forces herself to relax. “ But you need to trust me. And trust yourself.”
I guide her through the basics, showing her how to reach for the shadows that surround us. “ Feel the darkness. Let it seep into your skin. Meet what ’ s already there.”
Brigid ’ s face is tight with concentration. A stray lock of hair falls over her cheek. I fight the urge to brush it back.
“ I can feel something,” she whispers. “ It ’ s cold. And hungry.”
“ Don ’ t fight it. Embrace it. Open up to it.”
I move behind her, placing my hands on her hips. She inhales sharply but doesn ’ t pull away. “ This is not what Tiernan or Lochan will teach you.” She stiffens at the mention of their names. “ But that ’ s because they don ’ t know what it ’ s like. To have the darkness not just around you, but inside you. You understand what I ’ m saying, don ’ t you?”
She nods. Just once.
“ I need you to feel that coldness and welcome it in. Don ’ t think about right or wrong, good or bad. It just…is.”
Brigid takes a deep breath. I can feel the shift in the air as she lets down her barriers, inviting the darkness in. Allowing it to coexist in her. Shadows from the forest swirl around us, gliding across our skin like a lover ’ s touch.
“ That ’ s it,” I murmur, my lips close to her ear. “ Let it fill you up.”
She shivers, leaning back against me. Her power pulses. It calls to my own darkness as her body arches. “ It ’ s so much. I don ’ t know if I can control it.”
“ Don ’ t.” I run my hands up her sides, coming to rest just with my fingers just under her breasts. “ Don ’ t fight it.”
“ Marius,” she breathes. “ I ’ ve never felt anything like this.”
“ Just wait. There ’ s so much more I can show you.”
Her skin ’ s hot under my hands, and I can feel her heart beating.
“ Open your eyes,” I command softly. “ What do you see?” I ask.
“ Everything,” she whispers. “ The shadows, they ’ re alive. Moving. I can feel them all around us.”
My grip on her tightens. “ That ’ s it. Now reach out. Make them do what you want.”
Brigid extends her hand. The shadows obey their master, forming shapes. A bird. A cat. A dagger. A man.
“ Holy shit,” she breathes.
I chuckle. “ Impressed?”
“ It ’ s incredible.” She turns to face me, eyes wide. “ How did you learn all this?”
Something in my chest constricts. I shouldn ’ t tell her. Shouldn ’ t let her in. But those eyes...
“ The hard way.”
Brigid ’ s eyes soften. “ Tell me,” she says quietly.
I hesitate, warring with myself. I don ’ t do vulnerability. Don ’ t let people in. But something about Brigid makes me want to open up.
“ My father...” I start, then stop. Take a breath. “ He wasn ’ t exactly the nurturing type.”
Brigid waits, patient. Her hand finds mine, fingers intertwining. The touch grounds me.
“ I was six the first time he locked me in the dark room. Said I needed to learn to embrace the shadows, to become one with them.” I clench my jaw, remembering. “ I screamed for hours. Begged to be let out. But he just left me there.”
“ Marius,” Brigid whispers. “ That ’ s awful.”
I shrug, aiming for nonchalance. “ It worked. After a while, I stopped being afraid. The darkness became my friend, my ally.”
“ How long did he keep you in there?”
“ Three days that first time. Longer, as I got older.” I meet her gaze. “ By the time I was ten, I could spend weeks in total darkness without losing my mind.”
Brigid ’ s grip on my hand tightens. “ That ’ s messed up, Marius. No child should have to go through that.”
I shrug, uncomfortable with her sympathy. “ It made me stronger. Taught me to rely on myself, and no one else.”
“ Still,” she says softly. “ You were just a kid.”
Something in her tone causes me physical pain. I pull away, putting distance between us.
Brigid steps closer, her eyes searching mine. “ Is that why you push everyone away? Because you learned you could only count on yourself?”
“ Don ’ t psychoanalyze me, little bird,” I tell her. “ You don ’ t know shit about me.”
“ I know more than you think,” she says quietly. “ I see the pain you try to hide.”
I bare my teeth in a feral grin. “ You think you ’ ve got me all figured out? Think again, sweetheart. I ’ m not some wounded puppy for you to save, like Rory.”
Brigid flinches at my harsh words, but doesn ’ t back down. “ I ’ m not trying to save you, Marius. I ’ m just trying to understand you.”
“ Yeah, well, good luck with that. I don ’ t even understand myself half the time.”
We stand in tense silence for a moment. I can feel Brigid ’ s eyes on me, but I refuse to meet her gaze.
Finally, she speaks. “ Thank you for telling me about your father. I know that couldn ’ t have been easy.”
I shrug noncommittally.
“ My adoptive parents died when I was very young,” she continues softly. “ And I never knew my birth parents. I don ’ t really remember them. Sometimes I wonder if that ’ s better or worse than having shitty parents.”
Despite myself, I turn to look at her. There ’ s a vulnerability in her eyes that makes my heart pang.
“ At least you had parents,” she says with a sad smile. “ Even if they were assholes.”
I snort. “ Trust me, you ’ re better off without mine.” It ’ s time to end this conversation and steer it away from the tragic fucking topic of my past. I move in until our faces are inches apart. “ You want to get to know me better, Brigid? You already know what I want.”
I expect her to back away. But she surprises me, meeting my gaze without flinching.
“ I know you want power,” she says softly. “ Control. To never feel helpless again.”
“ Is that right? And how do you know this, exactly?” My head is leaning down to hers, so close that our lips are almost touching.
“ Because it ’ s what I want too.” She pushes herself up on her tiptoes and her mouth presses against mine.
My eyes widen in surprise.
Her lips are soft against mine, tentative at first. But as I respond, sliding my hand into her hair, she grows bolder. Her tongue traces my lower lip and I growl, deepening the kiss.
Brigid presses her body against mine, her curves molding to my harder planes. I can feel the heat of her through our clothes, stoking the fire in my veins. My hands roam down her back, cupping her ass and pulling her closer.
She breaks the kiss, panting. “ Marius,” she whispers.
I smirk. “ Yes, little bird?”
“ I want...” she trails off, biting her lip.
“ Tell me,” I demand, voice low and rough. “ What do you want?”
Brigid ’ s cheeks flush, but her gaze is steady. “ You. I want you.”
Those words send a shot of lust straight to my cock. I crush my mouth to hers again, kissing her hard and deep. She moans, the sound vibrating against my lips.
My hands slide underneath her top to caress bare skin. Brigid arches into my touch, her skin hot under my fingers. I break the kiss to trail my lips down her neck, nipping at her pulse point. She gasps, tilting her head to give me better access.
“ Marius,” she softly utters. “ Please.”
I smile against her skin. “ Please what?”
Her hands fist in my shirt. “ Touch me. I need...”
“ What do you need?” I pull back to meet her eyes, heavy-lidded with desire.
Brigid swallows hard. “ Everything. I need everything.”
I cup her breasts, thumbs brushing over her hardened nipples. She moans, pressing closer.
“ Like this?” I ask, pinching lightly.
“ Fuck,” she breathes. “ Yes.”
I capture her lips again, swallowing her gasps as I continue to tease her nipples. Her hands clutch at my shoulders, nails digging in. I stop kissing her, trailing my mouth down her neck. “ This needs to come off,” I growl.
Brigid nods eagerly, lifting her arms so I can pull the shirt over her head. Her bra follows quickly after. I take a moment to admire her bare torso, drinking in the sight of her heavy breasts and smooth skin.
“ Beautiful,” I murmur, before plumping both breasts up with my hands and lowering my mouth. I swirl my tongue around her nipple before sucking it into my mouth. Brigid cries out, her fingers tangling in my hair.
“ Oh god,” she gasps as I lavish attention on her breasts. “ Marius, please...”
I smirk against her skin. “ Please what? Use your words, little bird.”
Brigid whimpers. “ Touch me. I need you to touch me.”
My hand slides down her stomach to the waistband of her pants. I pop the button open and slip my fingers inside. Brigid ’ s hips buck as I stroke her through her underwear.
“ Fuck, you ’ re so wet already,” I groan.
“ For you.”
Her words make my cock jump.
I slide my fingers under her panties, groaning at the soft, wet heat I find there. Brigid gasps, her hips rocking against my hand.
“ That ’ s it,” I murmur, circling her clit with my thumb. “ Let me make you feel good.”
She whimpers, clutching at my shoulders. I capture her mouth in a deep kiss as I slip two fingers inside her. Brigid moans into my mouth, her inner walls clenching around me.
“ Marius,” she pants, breaking the kiss. “ Oh fuck...”
I pump my fingers in and out, curling them to hit that spot that makes her cry out. My thumb continues to work her clit as I kiss and nip at her neck.
“ That ’ s it, little bird,” I growl against her skin. “ Come for me. Let me feel you fall apart.”
Brigid ’ s body tenses, her nails digging into my back. With a loud cry, she comes, shuddering against me. I work her through it, only slowing when she whimpers from oversensitivity.
As she comes down, I gently withdraw my hand. Brigid slumps against me. I press a kiss against the top of her head and a sense of possessiveness spreads through my body. Mine.
Fuck. How in the hell am I going to let this go?