CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Ella
L ocked in my bathroom at home, I stare at the positive pregnancy test.
The gala was two weeks ago, and I should have started my period the day after. When it didn’t come, I shrugged it off to all the sex Balor and I had that weekend.
Since that night, without the pesky hindrances of blood or cramps, we’ve gone at it like rabbits. Mostly when I arrive to wake him up.
Now that morning wood is all for me. I ride him in his bed and then he takes me in his shower.
I started working at Fredricks Elementary again, and I finally feel like my old self. Only better, because I don’t have a psycho boyfriend I’m afraid to go home to or bruises to cover with makeup.
Is Balor my boyfriend? It feels odd to think of a thirty-five-year-old man, who’s in the mafia, as a boyfriend.
And since we’re not public about our relationship, labels haven’t come up. I’ve not told my father because Balor is his boss and Dad can be a little...brusque when he’s mad. I assume he would only see another powerful man trying to take advantage of his daughter.
But Dad needs this job. It’s steady and safe. Freelance gigs can dry up at any time or get him into trouble. Worse, hurt him. I worry he’d forget all that and...
I don’t know what he’d do to Balor if he found out.
But we can’t hide forever when this baby inside me starts showing.
Warm tears build in my eyes and next, I feel them streaming down my cheeks. I’m not sure why I’m crying. Perhaps the hormones have kicked in.
I’ve felt so happy these past two weeks, and this bombshell will nuke the hot and casual fun Balor and I have every day.
I don’t want anything serious, and I don’t want to get married yet. I know he feels the same about wanting to be casual.
A knock on my door is followed by my father’s voice calling out to me. Heart pounding, I close the test stick inside my hand and tug my sweater sleeve down.
“Estella, can I speak to you for a moment?” Dad’s Russian accent sounds thick and troubled.
“Of course.” I clasp my hands behind my back and manage to wedge the pee-stick inside my pants.
“I am going on business trip.”
“Where? For what business?” I snap, my baby worry spilling out of me before I can stop it. “Dad, Balor lets you freelance on the side, but you can’t just—”
“It is for Balor.” His right eyebrow raises at my tone.
Balor is sending my dad on a trip, but he didn’t tell me.
Even though I’m Balor’s personal assistant, I’m privy to projects the other team members in the command center are working on. Balor has sent IT specialists out of town here and there. And always mentioned it to me in the course of our conversations about projects.
Balor lights up talking about his work and how he built a state-of-the-art network, security systems, and firewalls. Computers are not my jam. I wish we had more in common like Eoghan and Jillian, who are both lawyers. I’ve learned that each of his brothers’ wives is very different from their husbands.
That tightens my throat. Will I be forced to marry Balor? All his brothers have babies, and two wives are pregnant. Is that how those marriages went down?
“Where are you going exactly?” I ask my dad and shove everything else out of my head.
“Tokyo.”
I go breathless at how far away he’ll be. We’ve only been apart a few days here and there since we went to Sydney.
“How long will you be gone?” I ask.
“I am not sure. Depends on my progress. Two weeks, at least.”
My stomach flips at the idea of being alone for so long...
Wait, I won’t be alone.
Did Balor plan this on purpose?
“What are you doing there?” I fold my arms.
His eyes narrow on me as he hesitates. “I am not sure what I can reveal.”
“I work for Balor, too.”
“As his assistant.” Dad won’t be happy that I took the part-time job at the school because that’s where I met Wes, and Dad thinks he’ll go looking for me there.
But he hasn’t.
Dad would prefer I organize Balor’s closet all day. The assistant job was always supposed to be temporary. Dad knew all along I wanted to teach again next fall.
“Dad, are you telling me everything?” I argue, even though I’m keeping the job at Fredricks a secret. “What’s going on?”
Over dinner, he used to clamor on about his projects at the bank. A bank isn’t the mafia. Perhaps, he’s protecting me.
“Let me clear what I can tell you with Balor.”
“Never mind.” I wave my hand. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow night.”
I go breathless. “Oh, that’s very little notice.”
“Do not worry, my Ella. This building is secure. You promise me you will take Ubers and not the subways or walk too far on your own?”
“Dad, I’ve not heard from Wes. It’s been more than eight months. ”
His shoulders relax. “Good.“
I’m emotionally scarred from that relationship. Bad memories of him beating me flash back sometimes, but I don’t feel like I’m in danger anymore.
Two weeks without my dad watching over me means I can spend more time with Balor.
We really need to get to know each other better. I’m having his baby.
I truly don’t know what his reaction will be. He said his busy schedule prevented him from having a relationship, and that went double for kids.
But I feel we’re in a relationship. He got over that hurdle. Hopefully, he’ll be happy about the baby. Especially if he cares about me.
“We should go out tonight.” I smile to show Dad I’m happy and not stressed.
Although now I have something else to worry about.
Dad cocks his head and glances around the room. “It is Saturday night. You don’t have a date?”
I lower my gaze at him. “Don’t you think I’d tell you if I had a date?”
Dad hovers over me. He’s six foot, stocky with a long face and a snowy-white beard over pocked, acne-scarred skin. His blue eyes under dark hair make him handsome. “You know you can tell me anything, Ella. It upset me to no end that you kept so much of what that animal Wesley did to you a secret.”
“I was embarrassed. I thought it was my fault. And I thought...” My throat gets tight. “I thought he’d stop. I thought I could manage the situation myself.”
He cups my chin. “Do you promise never to keep something like that from me again?”
“I promise.” I let him fold me into a hug, the smell of his aftershave calming me.
“No man will ever raise a hand to you again.” He squeezes me. “I will make sure of it. And now that I am valuable to a man like Balor O’Rourke and his connections...”
My heart pounds, feeling how tangled my circumstance has become. Dad promises to get Balor involved if a new boyfriend hurts me.
Visions of being paid off, made to go away because I’m carrying an illegitimate mafia baby turn my stomach.
If Balor is the one to protect me, who will protect me if he breaks my heart?