Chapter 28 Sadie
SADIE
If there were ever a time for me to feel like a traitor, it would’ve been today.
Hours passed in Luka Dubinin’s study, then a bigger meeting room, and finally, in the lounge. I didn’t hold back once with any misgivings that I was selling my soul, falling for the enemy, or committing any sins.
Sharing these files and talking about my Obsidian Eye case with the Dubinin men felt right.
I had been prepared to tell Emil about it the night I was captured.
I had almost perished. I had been taken, no doubt, so I couldn’t reveal any of this confidential information with him or his family, but I prevailed.
I survived, and he had come to rescue me.
Like this, it seemed to be fated, kismet, that I could work with the Dubinins on the newest threat to society.
As an agent, I had worked to fight crime to keep the world safe.
As Emil’s lover, as this tentative ally to the family, I saw clearly how Luka prioritized keeping his dynasty safe, his interests safe.
Maybe it wasn’t as altruistic of an approach as what I had, but near the end of the meeting, when I was sipping water more than lecturing because my throat was so dry, I realized it didn’t matter.
All that mattered was making the world—any and all parts of it—safer.
I saw now how my former agency wouldn’t be the best option to achieve that goal. They were too corrupt, likely backing multiple members of this new group that wanted to form.
Only with the Dubinins could I feel safe. Like there was hope to get rid of the worst of the worst out there.
I sat back and listened as the men spoke, collaborating.
They had intel of their own, but mostly, they wanted to see how they could match what I revealed with what they suspected.
The bottom line was that they also wanted to prevent the Obsidian Eye group from becoming a real thing.
It was just a matter of how to achieve that.
More details would be necessary, but for my first meeting with them, I felt like things had gone down well.
Regardless, I couldn’t shake this suspicion that Luka was eager to speak with Emil without me there.
Even Ivan and Alexsei. The three of them made up Luka’s most-trusted inner circle, and I knew I wasn’t part of it.
I wasn’t even sure if Luka would extend permanent welcomes for me and my child.
Many things had to be considered, but I hated the possibility that I would be excluded from all the plans.
I didn’t want to be left out after contributing so much.
It wasn’t a matter of exacting tit for tat.
It was more to do with the fact that I’d spent so much time and energy on this case and stopping the Obsidian Eye alliance that I wanted the closure of finishing this case.
Being talked over at the agency pissed me off. I didn’t want to experience that here, either. I was the outsider. I had yet to receive Luka’s official welcome and approval, but for all I’d shared, I didn’t want to be shut out.
The discussion was all about business, and being the only woman in the room didn’t strike me as odd. I was an operative. I’d done this all my career, albeit on the other side of the law.
When Raisa and Gabriella entered the room, though, it changed the tune.
Talk about plans and enemies faded. The men welcomed the two women in, offering seats for them and a couple of young boys.
It was different having this shift from work to family, but I couldn’t convince myself that I belonged in either.
They might exclude me from specific planning phases just the same as they wouldn’t want me in a family gathering.
I didn’t feel like a guest, nor was I an employee on hand.
I wasn’t sure how to dispel this funkiness.
Emil was still at my side, like he had been all day, but something about this setting had shifted this unease into social anxiety within me. Earlier, Gabriella made me feel welcome, but now, she was talking with Ivan and Raisa while Emil talked to Alexsei.
I sighed, sitting back in my seat and wishing I wasn’t the oddball of the close-knit group.
“Have you met Andre?”
I flinched a little at the young boy who’d plopped onto the couch next to me.
“Andre?” I smiled at the baby the boy held. “Nope. I sure haven’t.”
The boy took the baby’s hand and waved with it. Maybe he was officially a toddler. Was there a specific age to call them one or the other? This was all so new to me, and I would soon need to be more experienced with all things about babies since I’d be a mother soon.
I never had a younger sibling. When I moved from one home to another, in the system after my parents were killed, I was placed in homes with older kids, never babies or toddlers. They were adopted far faster than any older children.
“Andre, say hi,” the boy said.
“Hi!”
Oh. That little baby boy voice was too damn cute.
“Hi, Andre,” I said, sure that I was being too formal with a baby-maybe-toddler.
“I’m Misha.”
“Hi, Misha,” I told the boy. “I’m Sadie.”
The other boy came over and wedged onto the couch. “Move over, Emil,” he said. “I wanna meet your girlfriend too.”
“Jeez, Lev,” Emil said as he stood to let the boy have room on my other side. “Pushy much?”
“Sorry, Emil.” Lev smiled.
Misha took over. “Lev, her name is Sadie.”
Andre lunged out to grab at my arm and we all laughed.
“I think he wants to climb on your lap,” Lev said.
“I’m not sure there is much room,” I joked, awkwardly helping Misha hand over Andre, who was very interested, as in stubborn, about getting on my lap to make his hello more personal. Bouncing and wiggling, he crawled over to me. No matter how I spotted him, I worried he’d fall.
The boys noticed.
“He’s quick,” Lev warned. “He’s faster when he crawls.” His hands stayed out to help Andre crawl over, but he wasn’t as jerky and stiff like I was. He was used to being around a baby.
“And he’s stubborn,” Misha added as he tried to keep Andre from climbing on my baby bump. “No, no, Andre. You know you have to be careful.”
I supposed they all had practice like this, keeping Andre from being too rough around Gabriella’s baby bump too.
“Whoa.” I reached forward to make sure Andre didn’t bounce on my lap and fall backward.
“And he’s wiggly,” Lev said, laughing.
“I just don’t want him to fall.”
“He won’t,” Misha said.
“How do you know?” I asked.
Misha shrugged. “I guess I don’t know. But he’s not as clumsy as he was when he was a smaller baby.”
“I didn’t like holding him then,” Lev said. “Everyone makes such a fuss about supporting his neck and all.”
“Well, I guess that is important,” I said.
“Oh, yeah,” Misha said. “It is. Cuz their necks aren’t strong. You gotta hold them like a football.” He gestured.
“Maybe you can be my coach.”
Lev grinned. “Me too!”
“But he’s right. Andre’s more fun now. He can sit up and stand and walk. Huh, Andre?” He emphasized nodding and rolling his head a little, which Andre mimicked.
“You boys are quite the experts,” I admitted.
“Aren’t you?” Lev asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know what to expect, honestly.” I put my hand on my bump, but Andre picked it up and patted it like clapping. “This is my first baby.”
“I’m excited,” Lev said with a smile.
He was excited for my baby? He’d just met me! Clearly, all these Dubinins knew about me because Emil had searched for me with his family at his side, but this felt like a personal welcome.
“It was only me and my mama for a long time,” Lev said, smiling at Raisa as she laughed with Gabriella and Ivan across the room. “I like having a big family.”
“I think you’re blessed to have a family,” I told him.
Misha nodded. “We are. You will be too.” He started to wrangle Andre off my lap, much to his protest. “Come on, my stomach is growling. It’s dinner time.”
“Oh. Um. Okay. I won’t hold you up.” I tried to encourage Andre to go with him so I could stand and go back to Emil’s room.
“I think you’re going to have to bring him.” Lev shook his head at Andre fussing.
“No, that’s okay. I’ll—”
Misha shook his head. “Nope. He wants you.” He held him long enough until I stood.
My plans to excuse myself weren’t going to hold up according to Andre. Once I adjusted to holding him, with Misha and Lev’s guidance, I felt ready to tote the little toddler on my hip while making sure my baby bump wasn’t bothered.
“Like this?” I checked, glad the boys wanted to help me.
I was fitting in so well like this, with them.
“Yeah—whoa!” Lev jumped up to grab Andre’s hand as he took a fistful of my hair and yanked. “Andre. No. Be gentle.”
Gabriella and Luka noticed me carrying their son, but they didn’t seem bothered.
“Andre,” Luka said with a sigh. “Be a gentleman.” He spoke with the fatigue of having told him that many times before.
“Impossible,” Emil said as we headed to the dining room. He slung his arm around my shoulders, tickling Andre when his fingers were near him. “I’m the only son you’ve got who is a real gentleman.”
“Ha.” Luka grunted it as a laugh, giving me a look like he doubted it. “Tell me, Sadie. Is he a gentleman?”
Lev and Misha rushed ahead toward their parents at the table.
“A gentleman?” I asked playfully.
“Aside from the kidnapping, of course,” Emil said.
Luka rolled his eyes.
I smiled up at Emil, happy with how relaxed he seemed with me at his side, holding his baby brother. During the meetings, he was at ease with me there, and in this family setting of a dinner, he was just as calm and content.
When I handed Andre over to Luka then took my seat, I dared to think that just maybe, I could fit in with these Dubinins.
Perhaps I could belong with them—for good.