Chapter 36 Sadie
SADIE
When Dr. Hannan checked me over at the house, she seemed most worried about my blood pressure. She wouldn’t say it. Not at first. But I saw the look on her face and I could tell that something was making her nervous.
“It might be better to be prepared,” she said after hedging my question for her about what was wrong. I knew that having my water broken this early wasn’t necessarily good. I was right at the brink of being too early, but she didn’t seem nervous about that.
“Prepared for what?” I demanded, trying not to snap or be a bitch while getting used to the deep hits of pain that were contractions.
“Just in case,” Dr. Hannan said.
“Oh, fuck,” Gabriella moaned from the couch, where she was leaning over and wincing in pain. “They’re getting stronger.”
“But unlike Sadie,” Dr. Hannan said as the nurses checked the vitals that they’d hooked up to her, “your blood pressure is fine.”
Aha. There was my answer.
“Do I have to do a C-section?” I asked.
“Fuck.” Luka paced, one hand on his head.
Dr. Hannan frowned at him. “A C-section is a routine surgery, Mr. Dubinin. Don’t scare them.”
“I think we’re both more worried,” I said, cringing through another contraction, “about him scaring you.”
She rolled her eyes once her back was to him. “In my professional opinion, you should plan for the unexpected.”
Too late.
I hadn’t planned for the unexpectedness of being pregnant in the first place.
“And should anything change, it would be safest for you to be within the means of having any medical procedures necessary for our goals. Which are…?” She prompted.
“Keeping me and the baby alive,” I replied, having told her that those were my bare-bones criteria.
“Exactly.”
Come on, Emil. Hurry.
I bore through the contractions and did my best not to worry while they got everything in place.
Luka was worried about Gabriella, who freaked out at the idea of going to the hospital.
Even he couldn’t combat her PTSD and help her.
Dr. Hannan insisted that Gabriella was fine, and if it came to it and her labor progressed, she could deliver here.
Luka determined that he’d take me to the hospital, not trusting an ambulance. Then with a little more back-and-forth among us all, we delegated who’d do what.
Gabriella snapped at Luka and demanded that he stay with me so I wasn’t alone.
Raisa ran interference, trying to contact the men who were on the mission while also comforting Gabriella that she wouldn’t be alone either.
Luka fought with both of them, saying he wasn’t leaving his wife’s side.
I begged them all to shut up and I’d go alone with Dr. Hannan.
Dr. Hannan said she’d stay or go, but then Gabriella insisted she should stay here if Luka was going with me.
It was a clusterfuck of epic proportions, but in the end, Gabriella won out.
“Take Sadie and stay with her,” she yelled at Luka. “You owe it to Emil to at least be there for her. If we dick around and don’t move it, she’ll have the baby here and could be in danger of not surviving it. Now shut up and go, and I’ll try not to have our baby ’til you get back!”
That settled it. Luka and another guard helped me into the car with one of the nurses.
Once we arrived, my contractions worsened. Hours passed but it felt like both a handful of seconds and eternity. Time moved too slow. Too fast. My grasp of time was a jumbled mess in my mind. The only timing that I could focus on with impatience and fear was how long it was taking Emil to get here.
Hooked up to monitors and pumped with medicines to assist me into labor since my blood pressure wasn’t behaving, I did my best to endure the pain. I was too far along in labor to have an epidural.
“Of all motherfucking times for a tropical storm,” I growled, gritting my teeth as Luka held my hand.
He furrowed his brow. “I never should have told you.”
“A fucking hurricane?” I seethed, unsure whether Emil would make it back to see his child be born.
Luka shook his head. “It’s bullshit. I know.”
I looked at him, grateful that he chose to be with me instead of his wife.
I think she understood how scared I really was, though, having no family left.
She wasn’t in as much of a threat of delivering as I was, and I knew that played a part in it.
She also was too deep in her trauma to want to come near another maternity ward.
Therapy had helped her, but she refused to budge.
Having Luka here did help. In the calm in his eyes, I saw a reminder of Emil. And having someone here helped me ignore the pang of hurt that I wished my father could’ve lived to see his grandson be born. That he’d be here to support me.
“You’re doing great,” Luka said. “I think.”
“You are the definition of a badass,” the doctor said. A younger and grungier female doctor with tats up her arms was Dr. Hannan’s substitute, and I couldn’t complain. She didn’t hedge around telling me what was going on. I asked a question and she answered directly.
“You’re almost there,” she said. She smiled at Luka, seemingly not concerned that he was a Mafia boss. “Ready to be a grandpa?”
“I already am one,” he growled back.
She shrugged and faced me. “Ready to be a momma?”
“No!” I shook my head. “Not until Emil is here.”
“Sadie, he’ll be here,” Luka said.
I shook my head harder. “I need to know he’s okay. That they are… okay.” Saying anything more wasn’t possible. The nurses in this room and this hipster doctor weren’t privy to the confidential details of the operation Emil and the Dubinin men had left to handle.
“This baby isn’t going to wait,” the doctor warned. She lost her jovial tone. “Eyes on me, Momma. You’ve got to listen to me now. When I say push, you’re going to give me a good, hard push.”
I gritted my teeth as Luka held my left hand.
“One, two—” She frowned. “Is that Dad?”
A commotion sounded behind me, but I couldn’t tell.
“Emil,” Luka said, relief clear on his face.
I turned as Emil rushed to the right side of my bed. “Emil!”
Blood was smeared over his face. A gash on his brow still bled. But he didn’t care. He didn’t seem aware of his injuries. He gripped my right hand, then sucked in a breath with a hiss. He released it and took my hand with his other one, the one that didn’t seem wounded.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Stupid question!” I shot back.
“And push,” the doctor ordered.
I did, struggling through it but calmer just to see Emil back. Bloody and injured, but in one piece.
“What the fuck happened?” Luka asked in a low tone, still a parent in the room, worried about his son while also ready to welcome a grandchild.
Emil didn’t seem to hear him. “I’m here. You’re doing so good. You’re doing so good, Sadie.”
I breathed through the push, knowing that the pressure of this baby would kill me if I didn’t get it over with. “Are. You. Okay?”
He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. “Of course.”
I shot him a look that could kill.
He just had to be a smartass. Even now.
As he gave me a slight smile, that cocky grin that charmed me, I winced and readied to push again under the doctor’s orders.
“Almost there,” the doctor said.
“Please make it stop,” I begged, tensing every inch of my body. The pressure. The pain. The agony. I screamed as another contraction took over me, and both Luka and Emil held my hands as I squeezed my fingers tight.
“Is it always like this?” Emil asked.
“I don’t know,” Luka bit back. “I wasn’t there for Gabriella the first time.”
I winced, catching my breath. “Sorry.”
He shook his head. “You heard her. She kicked me out.” He almost smiled.
“Thank—thank you for not letting me go through this alone.”
“You will never be alone again,” Emil swore.
“Push, Sadie, I need you to push with all you’ve got.” The doctor nodded at me, all business.
I tried to. I gave it my all, but still, this baby wasn’t making it easy.
Over and over, she had me endure the pain of contractions. Nurses coached me. The doctor instructed me. Emil soothed me, praising me for being so strong. Luka didn’t leave either, encouraging me to stay strong.
Fifteen minutes later, I proved to myself that Emil was right. I would never be alone ever again.
Because after the brutal agony of pushing so hard “one last time”, I delivered my baby. Our baby.
The second I heard a little wail of a cry, tears leaked from my eyes. Happy tears. Of the deepest, most profound joy I had ever experienced. This memory would forever be etched in my soul, this first cry of my child.
“Now this is one stubborn little girl,” the doctor cheered. “Good job, Sadie.”
I blinked, registering the press of Emil’s lips on my cheek as he kissed me.
A girl.
I would never be alone for the rest of my life.
I had Emil. His family, too.
But giving birth was a solid and tangible bond that would permanently change my life.
I was a mother now, and I had a baby girl to love and raise and cherish.
I would never be alone again with the precious blessing of this baby.
I opened my arms as they brought her to me, so small and pink, her face scrunched in a pout as she closed her eyes tightly. She was perfect.
She was—
“She’s beautiful,” Emil said.
I glanced up at him, seeing the tears of joy in his eyes as he stared at us both. Leaning down to kiss me, he kept his hand over mine as I held her to my chest. Just like he did when she was still in the womb, his hand a protective force to shield her from the world.
“She’s perfect,” I said, still wiping the tears from my eyes.
“Congratulations,” Luka said warmly, smiling down at us.
As we marveled in the wonder of this precious girl who decided to make her arrival earlier than expected, we gushed over her.
Emil held her while I was helped through the afterbirth, but when the nurses winced and mentioned that Emil was getting blood on the blanket and contaminating the room, Luka took over to hold his first granddaughter while Emil’s hand was bandaged up.
I watched as Luka gave Emil our daughter, but they embraced too.
“Thank you, Father,” Emil told him.
Luka hugged him tightly.
“All right. Time for the next one,” the doctor said. She approached, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “That was my colleague, Dr. Ha—”
“Oh, fuck.” Luka opened his eyes wide and released Emil. “Gabriella! Is she—”
“Better hurry home,” the doctor said. “Looks like you’re going to be a grandpa and a dad on the same day!”