Chapter 21
Morning arrived too soon.
Cadi woke slowly, her body aching with exhaustion, but there was a small, warm weight pressed against her. Tomos.
He was curled up beside her, his little face peaceful, his tiny fingers still clinging to the frayed edge of his red blanket.
She hadn't slept beside him like this in a long time.
The last time had been the night Gray and Tomos decided to watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Tomos had been terrified that the Dementors were lurking outside his window. He had appeared beside her bed in the middle of the night, his blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his voice small.
"Mam... can I sleep with you?"
She had let him climb in, pressing a kiss to his curls, tucking the blanket more securely around him. Having his warm little body beside her had made her feel better too.
Just like it did now.
Her throat tightened as she held him a little longer, savouring his warmth, the quiet moment before the day truly began.
Then, softly, she murmured, "Wake up, baby. We need to go see your Da."
Tomos blinked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
"Why?"
"Doctor Gupta has asked for a test."
A flicker of worry crossed his little face. "Does the test mean a needle?"
Cadi smoothed a hand over his hair. "No needles. Someone is just going to look at your throat, that's all."
Tomos let out a breath of relief. "Oh. Okay."
She helped him get dressed, buttoning up his favourite striped jumper, then led him downstairs.
After buckling him into his car seat, she turned on the music—soft, instrumental—unsure how to answer any questions he might ask on the drive.
But Tomos stayed quiet, his small fingers resting on his lap, his gaze fixed on the passing houses outside.
Too soon, they pulled into Gray's driveway.
The front door opened immediately.
As if Gray had been waiting just inside.
His expression was a mixture of defensiveness and nervousness, his shoulders tensed, unreadable.
Cadi could feel his eyes on her, but when she looked up from unstrapping Tomos, he looked away.
Then, suddenly, he was there, moving toward her in a rush.
Normally, Tomos would have bolted toward him, throwing himself into his father's arms with boundless enthusiasm.
But today—
Today, he hesitated.
Cadi's heart squeezed painfully.
The hesitation lasted only a few seconds, but it was there.
Tomos climbed out of the car slower than usual, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
Gray crouched down slightly, his eyes scanning his son's face before he offered a small, strained smile.
"Hi, lad."
"Hi, Da."
Tomos' voice lacked the usual excitement, the eager joy that always coloured his words when he saw Gray. Instead, uncertainty lingered in his small voice.
"Don't you have work?"
The innocent question just brought home how much things had changed between them. Gray visibly swallowed, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced in the morning light.
His jaw tensed, and Cadi realized, for the first time, just how much weight he had lost over the last month.
"No, no..." Gray said quickly. He forced a small smile, running a hand over his unshaven jaw. "I've been workin' too much. Took a couple of weeks off."
Then, after a brief pause—
"To play with you."
Tomos' fingers curled into the hem of his jumper.
He nodded once, but he didn't smile.
Gray cleared his throat, glancing at Cadi before shifting his gaze back to Tomos.
"I've ordered a home test."
Cadi's arms folded across her chest. "Ah." Her tone was sharp, cutting. "wouldn't a court-ordered one be better?"
Gray's jaw tightened, but he didn't answer.
And somehow, that silence said everything.
The woman arrived promptly at ten, professional and efficient.
She introduced herself ,briefly meeting their eyes, before taking out the sterile swabs and explaining the process in neutral, practiced tones.
She turned to Tomos, offering him a small, reassuring smile.
"Hello, young man, my name is Marie. I'm here to do a quick little test, alright?"
Tomos shifted slightly, glancing up at his mother, his fingers tightening around the hem of his jumper.
Marie crouched down to his level, holding up the swab between her gloved fingers.
"It's real easy. No needles, promise." She tapped the swab against her palm. "I just need to tickle the inside of your cheek for a few seconds, and then we're all done."
Tomos still looked unsure, but after another glance at Cadi, he nodded hesitantly.
Marie smiled. "Good lad. Now, can you open real big for me?"
Tomos opened his mouth slightly.
Marie chuckled. "A wee bit bigger—like a lion's roar."
Tomos huffed out a small laugh and opened wider.
"That's perfect! See? You're a pro at this already."
She gently swabbed the inside of his cheek, counting softly under her breath. "One, two, three—done."
Tomos blinked. "That's it?"
Marie grinned. "That's it. Not even as bad as brushing your teeth, right? Fist bump?"
Tomos nodded slowly, still looking slightly wary, but relieved. He gave her fist a half hearted bump.
Gray, standing stiffly to the side, finally spoke, his Irish lilt rough but softer than before.
"Told ye there was nothin' to worry about, lad."
Tomos looked up at him, his expression still uncertain, but he didn't pull away when Gray ruffled his hair lightly.
Marie straightened and turned to Gray.
"Alright, Dad, your turn."
Gray nodded, rolling his shoulders before stepping forward. His fingers clenched at his sides for a moment before he let out a breath.
"Aye, let's get this over with, then."
Cadi was the last, her jaw set, her posture stiff. She didn't look at Gray once.
Once the samples were secured, the woman packed everything neatly into a small envelope, checked the labels twice, and then looked up.
"Expect the results in three to four days," she informed them. "They'll arrive by email."
And just like that, it was done.
Gray saw Cadi tense, her fingers curling slightly like she was ready for flight.
She grabbed Tomos' small hand, ready to escape, when Gray found himself speaking without thinking.
"Can we go to the park?" His voice was rough, uneven. Then, almost as an afterthought, "And then for ice cream?"
Cadi's eyebrow arched, her fingers tightening around Tomos's. "We'll see after the test."
She didn't want to say yes.
But then, before she could pull him away, Tomos's voice rang out.
"Please, Ma?"
Cadi froze.
She looked down at him, his small face hopeful, pleading.
She let out a long breath, the tension in her shoulders loosening just slightly.
"...Fine."
Gray exhaled, some of the tightness in his chest easing.
Tomos beamed.
As Cadi crouched down to retrieve her handbag, Gray hunched down to Tomos' level, taking a moment to steady himself before speaking.
"Listen, lad." His voice was softer than usual, careful. "Sometimes... grownups do stupid things."
Tomos tilted his head, watching him intently.
"Like anyone else," Gray continued. "And I was an eejit."
He swallowed, forcing himself to look Tomos in the eye.
"I'm sorry."
Tomos blinked.
Gray's throat tightened. "I won't do it again. I was just..." He struggled for the words, shaking his head. "I was very sad."
Tomos thought for a moment. "Ma was crying too."
Gray's breath caught.
Tomos' small voice didn't waver. "She doesn't cry with any sound. But my pillow was wet."
Gray's stomach dropped.
Tomos added, "She was crying with Uncle Callum yesterday."
Gray closed his eyes briefly before whispering, "That's my fault. But I am going to fix it."
But he did not know if he was making an empty promise.