Chapter 28
The silence stretched thick between them, pressing against the walls, against their lungs.
Gray finally leaned forward, his head in his hands, his broad shoulders hunched over like the weight of the revelations had finally crushed him.
Callum shifted, his body tense, unsure now that all the cards were on the table. His hands rested on his knees, his fingers flexing slightly, like he wanted to say something—but there was nothing left to say.
Cadi's own mind was spinning. How could she even begin to understand what Gray was feeling? There were a lot of unresolved issues between them, but to suddenly discover that you were the product of violence and betrayal, that the very people who should have protected you had instead tormented and abused you—that was something else entirely.
Callum cleared his throat, about to speak.
Cadi shook her head. "I think we need some space," she said softly. "Would you please bring Tomos by?"
Callum hesitated, then nodded.
He turned to Gray, his lips parting as if to say something—but Cadi shook her head again. No.
Whatever words Callum wanted to give; Gray wasn't ready to hear them. Callum gave a short nod and left, closing the front door behind him.
Cadi pushed herself up from the couch.
But before she could take a step, Gray stood suddenly, blocking her way.
She instinctively moved to go around him, but he moved with her, his massive frame eclipsing hers.
Her brain was a maze of conflicting emotions.
She was guilty of not telling Gray about his half brother. But now that she knew the whole story, how could Gray forgive her?
Cadi stopped, her heartbeat thudding heavily in her chest.
He was 6'4", built of nothing but muscle, easily outweighing her by at least eighty pounds.
But she wasn't afraid of him.
Because right now, Gray Callahan looked nothing like the man who had betrayed her.
He looked desperate.
His beautiful storm-grey eyes were bloodshot, rimmed with red, reflecting a vulnerability she had never seen before.
"Please..." His voice cracked, a whisper rough with exhaustion, grief, and something else she couldn't quite name.
"Please don't leave me."
The words shattered something inside her.
She knew Gray didn't beg. Ever. Even as a small boy, he would rather suffer in silence than ask for help.
Gray and his mother had always been closed off about their past.
It was like he was born a five year old boy.
Cadi had tried to broach the subject before but it had always ended with Gray grabbing his keys and going for a ride.
Then, he would pretend the conversation never happened.
Over the years, she had tried to start a conversation about Callum many times.
But Gray always found a reason to escape.
For some reason, Gray had always been friendly but distant with Callum.
Cadi regretted not exposing the secret the moment Callum told her. She had been four months pregnant at that time.
Little did she know how heavy the secret actually was.
Cadi hesitated for only a second before she placed her hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the couch.
He collapsed into the cushions, his body slumping like he had been drained of all strength.
She turned and walked into the kitchen.
For a moment, she simply stood there, gripping the edge of the counter, trying to ground herself.
Then, she made a fresh cup of coffee and carried it back into the living room, placing it in front of him.
Gray hadn't moved.
His head was still bowed low, his shoulders shaking slightly.
"I must have hurt her so badly..." he whispered, his voice so low she almost didn't hear it.
Cadi sat down across from him, silent, letting him talk.
"Sometimes I hated her," he admitted, his voice raw, broken. "I thought she cheated on David. I thought—" he exhaled sharply, running his hands through his hair. "I thought I didn't have a proper family because of her. I thought he hit me because of her. I didn't know... I didn't realize..."
His breath hitched, and for the first time since this conversation began, tears slid down his face.
"Do you know I look exactly like Finn?" His voice cracked, and he pressed his palms against his eyes as if trying to push the tears back.
"More like him than his own son."
Cadi felt a sharp ache in her chest. If only she had forced the conversation between Callum and Gray instead of respecting Callum's wishes. If only Callum had told her the entire story instead of a conveniently small portion of the whole .
"It must have been excruciating," Gray whispered staring at nothing in particular, his eyes unfocused "Having to love a son who wore the face of her rapist."
He covered his face with his hands. A tear escaped through the gaps of his fingers, landing soundlessly on his joggers.
Cadi hesitated. Her eyes were wet with tears. She had never expected this.
She hated what he had done to them. Hated what he had accused her of. But she wasn't innocent either. The vague story Callum told her gave her the impression that there had been a misunderstanding between the half brothers which was never resolved. She never expected the actual truth would be so horrific.
She couldn't leave him like this.
Before they had been lovers, they had been the best of friends.
And before everything else, it had always been Gray and Cadi.
She shifted as if to move away, but Gray got onto his knees in front of her in one swift motion.
Her breath caught, but he wasn't trying to intimidate her.
He wasn't trying to hold her back.
Instead, he just laid his head in her lap.
Cadi's fingers twitched, unsure of what to do.
Her hands hovered above his dark, damp hair, hesitating—then pulling away.
But Gray didn't move.
He simply curled into her, pressing his forehead against her thighs, and let himself break.
Her skirt was damp with his tears.
His shoulders shook beneath her touch.
"Don't leave me, Cadi," he mumbled into her lap.
She closed her eyes, inhaling sharply.
Then, finally, she slid her fingers into his hair.
Soft as silk, still carrying the faint scent of his shampoo—an oriental, woody fragrance laced with beech, lemon, and mint.
"I am so sorry. "she said ,miserable and confused. "I should have told you .My loyalties have always been with you first. I swear, I did not know anything beyond the fact that you were half brothers. You refused to talk about your past. I didn't even know you were from Derry. And Callum was in so much pain whenever I asked him about what exactly happened. But had I known, I would have told you this years ago. "
The moment her hands moved over his scalp, Gray let out a soft, broken sound, something between a sigh and a moan of relief.
Cadi swallowed hard, unsure of what she was doing, but knowing she couldn't stop. There was so much she needed to tell him. But that will have to wait.
Just for Tonight
After a long moment, she pulled away gently, murmuring, "Come on."
She stood up, guiding him toward the kitchen.
Gray followed, moving like a man half-conscious, his steps unsteady, his face pale.
She pulled out a bowl of chicken and thyme soup from the freezer, heating it on the stove.
Gray slumped into the chair at the kitchen table, staring blankly at the steaming bowl as she placed it in front of him.
Cadi pressed the spoon into his hand.
"Eat it all," she commanded softly.
Gray didn't argue.
He ate in silence, his movements slow, mechanical, but he finished every bite.
When he was done, she led him upstairs.
Gray followed, his body heavy with exhaustion, his mind elsewhere.
When they reached the bathroom, she helped him undress. Then she turned the shower on.
"Go on."
Gray nodded numbly.
She brought him a fresh towel, placing it on the sink.
When she turned to leave, she hesitated—glancing back just as he stepped under the stream of water.
His hands braced against the wall, his head bowed low, water cascading over his broad shoulders.
Like he was trying to wash everything away.
Cadi let him be.
Callum had brought a sleeping Tomos along with their bags. Without being told ,he knew they would be moving back.
He tried to speak to her about deceiving her. But he had caused irreversible damage to all of them by not being truthful while Gray's mother was alive. It was too soon.
Cadi silently carried Tomos to his room and tucked him in, his favourite red blanket within reach. Just holding his warm little body soothed her like nothing else.
When Gray finally emerged from the bathroom, towel wrapped loosely around his waist, his dark hair damp and dripping, he still looked lost.
She pulled back the covers, gesturing for him to lie down.
Gray sank into the mattress without a word.
She started to leave—but his hand shot out, wrapping around her wrist.
"Don't go." His voice was barely a whisper, but the desperation in it made her chest ache.
She sighed.
"Just for tonight." she sighed
Sliding off her skirt, she climbed in beside him.
Gray immediately wrapped himself around her, his face pressing into the space between her breasts, arms locked around her waist like a man drowning.
She hesitated for a fraction of a second—then let her fingers slide into his hair again, gently massaging his scalp.
Gray let out a shaky breath, his body finally relaxing against her.
Cadi held him the way she held Tomos when he had a nightmare.
"Mo chroí," he mumbled against her skin. "Yer all I have left."
Cadi held him.
And for the first time in weeks, Gray Callahan slept.