Chapter 36
Cadi got home at 5 p.m. The house was empty.
She stood in the quiet for a moment before heading upstairs. The weight of the day sat heavy on her shoulders, pressing into her bones. She stepped into the shower, letting the hot water work out the tension, scrubbing away the exhaustion.
By the time she came downstairs, her damp hair towel-dried, she had changed into an old pair of pink pyjamas and a ratty t-shirt—the fabric so worn that the thin material clung to her, shadows of her nipples faintly visible through it. Her damp hair had darkened to a richer auburn., the long strands tumbling over her shoulders and down to her hips.
Gray walked in just as she reached the bottom of the stairs.
His breath caught.
Her shape had changed since she'd had Tomos—softer in places, fuller, curvier. He'd loved her body at every stage, but something about this version of Cadi—the woman who had carried his child, who had endured so much—made his chest ache.
He had the most beautiful woman in the world. His best friend.
And he had hurt her.
Gray swallowed hard, his throat tightening.
Please, God.
Give me another chance. Let me fix this.
Cadi broke their silent staring contest first, and for the first time in his life, he couldn't read her expression.
She turned and walked into the sitting room.
Gray followed wordlessly.
Cadi took the armchair, facing him directly. Gray knelt by the wood burner, adding logs and kindling, setting the fire. She was always cold, even in summer.
The flames flickered to life, dancing in the dimming light. The warmth filled the room, but the cold between them remained.
Then, without preamble, Cadi asked, "Have you ever had sex with anyone but me?"
Gray's jaw clenched. "No."
Her voice stayed steady. "Have you ever kissed anyone but me?"
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Once. After a match. Rosie O'Maley. She surprised me." He looked at her directly. "It was sloppy and not very good. Before ya and I .Otherwise, no. And no to Vanessa, or any other woman."
He held her gaze, willing her to believe him.
A long moment passed before Cadi exhaled. She studied his face, searching for deception. Finally, she nodded. 'I believe you.'" Gray blinked. "Just like that?"
"When you lie, your eyes get all squinty and shifty, and you keep looking at things on your left," she said simply.
Gray let out a breathless chuckle. "You know me too well. It's scary."
The humour faded quickly.
Cadi's fingers twisted in her lap. "Gray... I was planning to leave you once we got the DNA results."
Gray went still.
"I wasn't sure how," she admitted. "I definitely can't afford the mortgage on my own. And Tomos... I don't know how he would cope. He loves you so much. But I thought... no father would be better than a father like that."
Gray inhaled sharply.
"But what we learned yesterday..." Cadi shook her head. "Callum should have told me. But in a way, it was better. Your mom didn't want you to know. And if I were in her position, I wouldn't want it to touch Tomos either, you know?"
Gray just listened, his eyes unreadable.
"The way you behaved, Gray... it's not okay."
Gray's throat worked, but he said nothing.
"What happened to you and your mom... I can't even imagine," she said quietly. "But we've known each other for thirty years. I thought we were best friends."
Gray's voice came out small. "I saw what that monster did to my mother. David. And Finn... was he any better? That's who I am."
Cadi stared at him. "No," she said, shaking her head. "That's not who you are."
Gray clenched his jaw, his breath unsteady. His hands flexed on his knees. "I shoved you."
Cadi's breath caught.
"I didn't hit you, but I shoved you," he said, voice raw. "I was angry. And I didn't think. But that's not an excuse."
Cadi braced herself., watching him.
"That is not who you are," she said firmly. "That was an accident. But you need help. And I can't do that for you."
She reached into her pyjama pocket and pulled out a small business card.
Gray's stomach twisted.
"This is what I need you to do," she said, her voice even. "If you want a shot at saving our marriage. For Tomos's sake. Because he deserves two sane parents."
Gray took the card without looking at it.
Dr.Patrick Sloan.
"He does a lot of private work," Cadi continued. "I think we can afford to pay for it. You'll do however many sessions you need to. This is not negotiable."
Gray finally looked at the card, his hands shaking.
"I feel like I've failed you," Cadi whispered. "Because why... why could you never talk to me?"
Gray's voice cracked. "I just didn't want you to know." His expression was tortured. "I was so ashamed."
Cadi's expression softened. "You had no reason to be ashamed for what those monsters did when you were a child." A pulse of feeling passed between them before "I've already made an appointment."
Gray's eyes snapped to hers.
"You're meeting him tomorrow at 3:00."
Gray inhaled sharply. "Tomorrow?"
"No, Gray," Cadi said, her voice steely. "I spoke to one of my friends in the mental health team. Then I spoke to him. He's agreed to squeeze you in."
Gray squeezed his eyes shut. He felt raw, exposed.
Cadi exhaled, leaning back slightly. "After you feel better... we may need therapy as a couple."
She rubbed her temples. "I think we can manage Dr. Sloan's fees, but—"
Gray shook his head, cutting her off. "Don't worry about the money."
Cadi frowned. "Gray, therapy isn't cheap—"
"I know," he interrupted, his voice firm. "But it won't be a problem. There's... money."
Something in his expression shifted, his usual bravado faltering for a moment.
Cadi tilted her head. "What money?"
Gray exhaled. "The money they gave my mother."
Gray nodded, his jaw tightening. "She signed something. The money wasn't just for her leaving. It was for silence. For me keeping my last name. They wanted to bury what happened, make sure no scandal touched them. No divorce—just a quiet separation and a payout to keep their name untarnished."
Cadi swallowed. "How much?"
"Millions."
Her stomach twisted.
"I never wanted to touch it," Gray admitted, his voice quieter now. "I felt... using it meant accepting what they did. But Mam always told me it wasn't their money—it was hers. And she gave it to me, for when I needed it. And there is her house. She said I should use it when Tomos goes to uni or when we want to buy a house."
Cadi remained silent, letting him speak.
"I'd like to buy the house outright," Gray said, his voice steadier. "Put it in both our names. No mortgage, no stress. I know you worry about money. And I know..." He swallowed. "I know I can't fix what I've done overnight. But if I can make life even a little easier for you—for us—then I want to."
Cadi looked at him for a long time.
Finally, she sighed. "Let's talk about it later."
Gray nodded. "Alright."
Gray's fingers dug into his knees. "Cadi..."
She shook her head. "I don't know, Gray. I just don't know."
The fire crackled in the silence between them.
Cadi inhaled, steadying herself. "For now, I need space."
Gray's head snapped up. "What do you mean?"
She met his gaze, unwavering. "You're moving into the guest room."
Gray's jaw tightened. "Cadi, come on—"
"I need space, Gray," she repeated. "I need to breathe. I need to feel... like I can think without you hovering over me, waiting for answers I don't have yet."
Gray exhaled harshly, not happy but knowing better than to argue. "For how long?"
"I don't know."
His fists clenched briefly before he forced them to relax. He hated it. Hated every second of this conversation. But she was right.
So he nodded. "Alright."
Cadi looked at him for a long moment, then stood. Without another word, she turned and headed upstairs.
Gray stayed behind, staring at the flames in the wood burner, feeling like the floor beneath him had just shifted.