Chapter 42
Cadi drove home, half-listening to Tomos grumbling in the backseat.
"Didn't even get t'stay for five more minutes," he huffed, arms crossed.
Cadi hummed, giving him nothing.
Undeterred, Tomos leaned forward, spotting something ahead. "Ooh! The Red Balloon!" His voice perked up. "Can we stop? I want ice cream."
Cadi didn't even blink. "Ask your dad."
Tomos groaned dramatically, flopping back against his seat. "You never buy me anythin'."
Cadi bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling as she turned into their street.
The moment she pulled into the driveway, she saw Gray's car parked outside.
And then, she saw him.
Lighter Shoulders, Brighter Eyes
Gray was standing by the front door, looking better than she had seen him in weeks.
The weight that had once hung from his shoulders seemed to have lifted slightly, the tension in his face eased. The darkness that had clung to him, that had lived in his very skin, was fading.
Cadi stepped out of the car, and before she could say anything, Gray grinned.
"Back so soon? Did ye get kicked out fer bein' a menace?"
Tomos perked up immediately. "Mum didn't let me get ice cream!"
Gray shot Cadi a mock-scandalized look. "Woman, have ya no soul?"
Cadi rolled her eyes, but before she could retort, he was already walking toward her, hands in his pockets, watching her with that intense, knowing gaze.
"Ya look beautiful."
Cadi blinked. "What?"
Gray smirked. "Beautiful." His voice was warm, teasing, but there was something genuine beneath it. "What, not used ta hearin' it?"
She wasn't. Not lately.
And the way he said it—like it was a fact, like it had always been a fact—made her heart stutter.
She recovered quickly. "You're clearly in a good mood."
Gray leaned in slightly. "Maybe I just like seein' ye, mo ghrá."
Cadi ignored the flutter in her stomach. Instead, she gave him a pointed look before gesturing toward Tomos, who was still sulking. "Your son wants ice cream."
Gray chuckled, ruffling Tomos's hair. "Ye had cake at yer match like you always do, lad. Ye'll live."
Tomos huffed. "Mum said to ask you."
Gray shot Cadi a playful look. "Oh, did she now?"
Cadi shook her head, heading inside. She wasn't dealing with two of them today.
----------------------------------------------
She found it on her pillow that morning.
Gray had left a note. He had been writing more—little letters, pages of thoughts he struggled to say out loud.
But this one had hit differently.
Cadi,
I haven't stopped thinking about Tomos. About what I did. About how I hurt him. And about how I will never forgive myself for it.
He was innocent. Of course, he was. Even if he wasn't mine, he was still innocent. How could I have doubted who he is to me?
I look at him now, and I am so fucking proud. He's smart, stubborn, better than I'll ever be. I will carry the guilt of ever doubting him for the rest of my life. But I swear to you, Cadi, I will never make him feel unwanted again.
I want to be a good father.
I just hope I can be.
-Gray
Cadi had read it more times than she cared to admit.
As she swirled the last of her wine in the glass, watching the candlelight flicker off the rim, a feeling of calm settled over her.
She glanced at Gray, who was leaning back on the sofa, his long legs stretched out, looking more at ease than he had in months.
"How was your day?"
Gray exhaled, rolling his shoulders. "Good." He gave her a half-smile. "Got a theatre list tomorrow."
Cadi raised an eyebrow. "Big cases?"
Gray shrugged. "Couple o' knee replacements, then a trauma case in the afternoon. Nothin' I can't handle." He tapped his fingers idly against his knee. "It's good to get back."
Cadi studied him for a moment. He meant it. She could see it in the way his body wasn't weighed down, the way his voice didn't carry that constant edge of exhaustion anymore. She had never noticed it was there until it was gone.
"Glad to hear it," she murmured, taking another sip of her wine.
Gray stretched his arms over his head, muscles flexing slightly. "Missed it, ye know." He shot her a playful glance. "A man can only burn so many dinners before he realises he's better off cuttin' people open."
Cadi snorted. "That's not exactly reassuring."
Gray smirked, stretching his arms behind his head. "I've got a new one for ye."
Cadi groaned immediately, already regretting her question. "Gray, no—"
"What do ye call a fish that promotes healthy bones?"
She closed her eyes. "Please don't."
Gray grinned. "An orthopedic sturgeon."
Cadi let out a dramatic sigh, rubbing her temple. "This is what happens when you go back to work."
Gray chuckled, looking far too pleased with himself. "Ye married me, mo ghrá. That means a lifetime of bad jokes an' worse puns."
Cadi shook her head, but a brief smile tugging at her lips before her expression turned sober.
"I saw Regan today."
Gray looked up from where he was stretching out on the sofa, tossing a curious glance her way.
"Oh?"
Cadi sighed. "I was angry. Still am." She exhaled sharply. "She finally apologized. Admitted she was jealous. That she thought it was... satisfying when she believed I'd cheated."
Gray's brows furrowed.
Cadi let out a snort. "She said she never meant for it to get this bad. But I can't trust her. Not anymore."
Gray studied her for a long moment, then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I was guiltier than her, Cadi."
She frowned. "What?"
Gray rubbed his hands together, as if choosing his words carefully. "Regan said what she said, but I believed it. I let it fester. I was the one who took her words an' turned them into a truth they never were."
Cadi went quiet.
Gray exhaled slowly. "An' maybe she kept it a secret for so long... ta protect ya."
Cadi stilled.
The thought had never crossed her mind.
She had always assumed Regan had kept the truth from her because it suited her—because it gave her power.
But what if it wasn't just that?
What if Regan had been afraid for her?
Cadi pressed her fingers to her temple. "I don't know, Gray."
Gray nodded. "Ya don't have to. Not yet."
She sighed. "Either way... I can't forgive her."
Gray leaned back, watching her carefully. "Then don't."
Cadi looked over, surprised.
He shrugged. "Not till yer ready."
She studied him, this version of him that was softer, calmer, more at peace with himself.
Gray continued
"By the way, I came clean to Mr. Burton about Vanessa."
Mr. Hayden Burton was the clinical lead in orthopaedics.
Cadi set her wine glass down, studying him carefully. "Yeah?"
Gray nodded. "Told him everything. How she twisted things, how I made a bloody fool of meself tryin' to make ye jealous. Didn't hold back."
Cadi raised a fine eyebrow. "And?"
Gray exhaled. "He was sound about it. Said it was good I told him meself. Thought it might be best if I switched up theatre days, so I'm not workin' with her as a regular anaesthetist anymore. Just in case. He said he would take care of it."
Cadi nodded slowly, processing that.
"I sent an email to me manager, CC'd Hayden in, so it's all above board. Obviously, I can't avoid her completely—if there's an emergency, I'll work with whoever I have to—but best to keep things professional. Keep me distance."
He watched Cadi, waiting.
For an I told you so.
But she didn't give him one.
She just picked up her wine glass again, took a slow sip, and said, "Good."
Gray blinked. "That's it?"
Cadi smirked. "What, you want a medal?"
Gray chuckled, shaking his head. "Ya could at least say, 'Gray, yer a very mature and responsible human being, an' I am dead impressed by yer growth.'"
Cadi snorted, swirling her wine in the glass. "I would be leadin' with what an idiot you've been."
Gray grinned, leaning back against the sofa. "Aye, that does sound more like ya."
She sighed, shaking her head. "But I suppose I'll settle for 'good.'"
Gray chuckled, nudging her foot with his. "That's real big of ya, a ghrá."
Cadi rolled her eyes. "Enjoy it while it lasts."