Chapter 7 #2
“Yeah, a little. But I can get up and cook something for you.”
“Nope. Not tonight. How does an omelet for dinner sound?”
“That sounds perfect,” I say, yawning again.
“Let me get you some coffee, then I’ll cook. Do you need a shower, baby? Or a bath?”
I sit up and tilt my chin for a kiss, but she’s waiting for me, her brows raised in question.
“I need you to kiss me first, please.”
She smiles again, those damn dimples creasing her smooth cheeks, and she leans down to give me the demanded kiss. I stroke my fingertips over her cheek, feeling the little divot from her dimple there.
When she pulls back she asks, “Better?”
“Yes, much. Thanks.”
She rolls her eyes, laughing. “You don’t need to thank me for doing exactly what I most want to do.”
“I thought you wanted to make omelets?” I say, teasing her.
“I do.” She leans closer to growl in my ear, “I also want to fuck you again, but that’ll have to wait.”
“Really? Why is that?”
“Because I need to feed my beautiful girl, you need a shower to help you wake up while I cook, then we’re going to decorate the tree. If you want to.”
I realize I do—I really do. I bite my lip, pretending to be thinking it over. “Well, if you insist. Raincheck, though?”
“Of course. Always. Well, maybe until we’re, like, ninety and unable to fuck.”
Did she just suggest we’ll be together when we’re ninety?
She yanks the covers back and helps me up, giving my sore butt a small swat. “Off to the shower with you, woman.”
I do as she says—I really was going to, anyway, although I won’t tell her that—and the warm water feels so good on my skin.
There’s something so lovely about the way the room fills up with steam while the cold rain falls outside.
Just knowing that it’s happening makes me feel even warmer and cozier.
I love this loft, I muse as I wash my body, then rinse off. The place is so gorgeous, plus there’s the puppies, and there always will be puppies here. And Dru will always be here.
Well, here at the rescue. But will she really always be with me?
I try to imagine us at ninety, and in my head we’re still rescuing dogs together, still fucking like we’re in our thirties. Still in love.
Have to tell her.
No. I just can’t take that chance. Can I?
I could use some advice, or at least someone to process it all with. And I realize I haven’t really talked to Gretchen at all. I need to get caught up on what’s happening with her and Sue, and talk to her about Dru and me.
I dry off and slip into Dru’s robe, and when I come out she’s in the kitchen on her cell. She hangs up and glances at me.
“I’m so sorry, baby, but there’s an issue in the kennels I have to attend to. Are you starving? I don’t think I’ll be more than twenty or thirty minutes.”
“No, I’m good. I’ll have some coffee. Go do what you need to do.”
“Okay. Be right back,” she says, stopping to kiss my cheek, then my nose, then my mouth before she slips into one of her flannels and a knit beanie, and heads out the door.
I pour myself a cup of cinnamon-scented coffee, then sit down on the sofa with a book, but I feel too restless to read. I put the book down and go to retrieve my phone from the table next to the bed, where I’ve left it plugged in. I tap the screen to call Gretchen.
She picks up right away.
“Hey! Evie, what’s up? You still up there at Dru’s place?”
“Yeah, I am, but she just ran over to the kennels, so I thought I’d call. We, uh…”
“I know your history with her; I was not at all surprised once I realized my boss was the same Dru you’ve been mooning over forever.”
“I… what? You know that?”
“I’m your best friend. Of course I know that. And I can’t remember you ever mentioning her last name, so I didn’t know it was her until the party.”
“Okayyy. Huh. I just realized you never actually said her name. You always just called her ‘the boss’, so neither of us had any way to know she was my Dru. But Gretch, do you think anyone else here knows what’s going on?
I mean, obviously the entire staff knows I’ve been staying here, but do you think anyone else knows how I feel? ”
“Dru, maybe? I mean, it was obvious every time you brought her name up, or told me a story about how you used to hang out with her and your roommate all the time, but I have no idea how much you’re letting on with her, so hard to say.”
“Shit.”
“Would that be such a terrible thing?” Gretchen asks. “She seems happy enough to have you there. Deliriously happy, from what little I’ve seen. She whistles whenever she’s working in the kennels, you know.”
“Ugh! I don’t know. Maybe not so terrible? It’s too early to tell. Well, no. That’s not true. Gretch, I think she feels the same way I do. I think. God, I’m not sure. That’s why I needed to talk.”
“You sound sort of happy and sort of confused, so maybe tell me what’s up before she gets back.”
“I am; both. Things have been great. Amazing, really. Um, we went to buy a Christmas tree together today.”
“What? You realize that’s one of the most lesbian things you could possibly do. Next you’ll be pumpkin patching together, and then you’ll definitely have to get married,” she teases.
“Halloween is over, so I think we’re safe from that for the year,” I tell her, grinning to myself.
God, we are such lesbians. But I don’t know that I’d have it any other way.
“Wait a minute,” Gretchen says. “You went to pick out a tree with her? A Christmas tree? You hate the holidays, Evie. For big reasons. This is huge for you.”
“It is. It’s really, really big. But I just feel so safe with her.
So seen. And instead of guilt-tripping me for ruining anyone’s holiday, like everyone I’ve ever dated, she just…
understands. And she actually wanted to help me work through it.
And even more important, she was okay if I couldn’t handle it. Like, really okay.”
“Wow.” Gretchen goes quiet for a moment. “I’m really happy for you. I mean, you’re feeling okay about it all? Where does the confused part come in?”
“I guess…” I pause, running my fingers over the seam on the robe tie.
“I guess I’m afraid that everything is too good.
Can I trust it? And we’ve been here together for what?
Nine days now? It all feels so fast, except it really doesn’t, and I’m not sure if I’m just fooling myself because I just want her. ”
“I don’t know, Evie. I can’t speak for you; all I can speak to is what I’ve seen and heard over the years.
And I’ve heard about her a lot. You’ve always had feelings for her, and you guys spent a ton of time together—honestly, I’m kinda surprised that Marcy girl put up with it.
But it’s not like she’s a stranger. And in case an outside opinion will help, she’s one of the best human beings I know.
It’s not just her work with the dogs; it’s the way she treats everyone. She’s a good one. One of the best.”
I let out a long sigh. “Well, we’ll see what happens. But meanwhile, I’m having some really big feelings about her.” It feels good to say the words aloud. “But tell me about you and Sue? Is that working out?”
“We’re doing a lot better. We needed to talk about some things, but I think we’re on the right track. We’re going to spend Christmas together. She invited me to Christmas Day brunch at her brother’s house, so I think we’re good.”
“Oh, I’m so happy for you.”
“Me, too. The breakup was just a bump in the road for us, I think, and it kicked off some necessary conversations. And I’m so happy for you. I know you’re worried about the permanence, but sometimes you just have to sort of trust the universe, you know?”
“You’re right. I guess I’m over-analyzing, like I always do.”
“Who, you?” she teases, making me laugh.
“Look, everyone’s gotta be good at something.”
She laughs with me, then we hang up, leaving me thinking.
She’s right; I need to let myself just trust what we have.
All the doubts and questions will get me into trouble.
And Dru hasn’t given me a single reason to doubt her on any level.
She’s honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t want it to ever end. Not now that I know what we have.
Stay with me.
Ugh! I need to stop doing even that—praying to some unknown goddess for Dru not to leave me. That’ll be up to her. And me.
I swear to myself to put the fears to rest. Hopefully I can actually do it.