Chapter 9 #2
“Because we’ve gotten so in the habit of being friends and denying our feelings—at least, I know I have.
We just handled this whole conversation like a couple of teenagers.
Me, most of all. But now that we’ve gotten that part out of the way, I’m going to tell you again, every damn day.
I love you, Evie. I always have. I’ve loved you since the first time we met.
I wasn’t supposed to, and you weren’t supposed to.
Maybe we needed to live more life first. I don’t know.
But here we are, together, and it’s everything I’ve always wanted.
You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. Because all I ever wanted was you. ”
I’m stunned. I knew she liked me, but boy, was she hard to read all those years ago. For good reason, I guess. And even though she’s told me that she was already crushing on me, I had no idea to what extent. I had no idea she loved me the way I loved her.
To my horror, I start to cry.
She wipes my tears away with her thumbs and smiles at me, then her eyes tear up a bit, and it surprises me so much, I stop crying. I touch a fingertip to the tear at one corner of her eye.
“Oh no! Why are you crying?” I ask her.
“Because I’m so damn happy, baby.”
She pulls me in and hugs me tight, and I hang onto her for dear life.
Because it feels as if she is my life. How did I live so long without her?
She’s home to me, and I’ve just been traveling loose through the world for the last six years.
Hell, ever since I lost my mom. I’ve never felt anchored—not until now. Until Dru.
“Dru?” I mumble into her neck. “When we kissed at that holiday party six years ago… was that an accident?”
“I’ve told myself it was. But I think we both know better now.”
“It wasn’t an accident for me. I’ve been pretending so I didn’t feel so guilty about kissing my roommate’s ex-girlfriend. But when I saw you at that party, I hung around under the mistletoe hoping you’d show up there and kiss me. Is that terrible of me?”
She laughs and pulls me away so she can see my face. “Not at all. It was fucking brilliant of you.”
"Well, and we were both a little tipsy. Or I may have been a lot tipsy."
"Actually, I wasn't. At all," she says. I just really wanted to kiss you.”
I let out a long sigh. “Why did we force ourselves to stay away from each other all this time again?”
“Maybe because we’re both chronic over thinkers who can’t allow ourselves to be happy.”
“Wow. That was profound. You can bill my insurance.”
She really starts laughing then, a deep belly laugh, I can’t help but laugh, too, then she drags me in for a kiss.
She tastes like coffee.
She tastes like love.
She tastes like home.
I don’t ever have to be lost again.
We sit together for a while, talking and laughing. We get up only to make toast and put some yogurt and berries in a big bowl, then eat in bed. When the rain finally stops, Dru asks, “Wanna go take Sulu and Seven for a walk?”
“Yeah. Let me get some warm clothes on.”
The pups are so excited to see us, and even more excited when we put them in coats and their harnesses—they’re both all wiggles and happy little yelps.
We just walk around the property a bit, not bothering to really do any leash training with them because it’s Christmas Eve, and this was just for them.
They’re both really well-behaved for being so young, just completely adorable, grinning in the way only a happy pittie can.
The sky is cloudy and looks like it’ll rain again soon, but none of us seem to mind the cold, damp air, and even in the gray winter, the vineyards on the distant hills scattered with oak trees are so beautiful. We’re all just happy to be together.
But once we get back to the kennels, my heart is breaking a little at having to leave them.
“These two are so sweet,” I tell Dru as she wipes their muddy paws down. “I wish I could keep them.”
“I feel like that about every dog who comes through here. But these two are young; they should find good homes pretty quickly. I think the only reason they haven’t already been adopted is because they’re pitbulls.
There are so many housing regulations around certain breeds.
But we got them so young, they don’t really have any behavioral issues. They even like cats.”
I lean down to rub Seven’s head, and she wriggles her entire back end, bumping her head into my hand, then Sulu comes over for the same treatment, and I get down on my knees to cuddle them both.
“Sweet little babies,” I tell them. “I wish you could live with me. I really do.”
Sulu licks my face, and I grimace and wipe it off, but I don’t really mind.
Something occurs to me, and I look up at Dru. “How come you haven’t had a dog since Rocky passed?”
“I’ve been waiting for the right time, I guess.
I mean, I wouldn’t have adopted one while I was getting this place set up, but we’ve been open for three years.
” She squats down and rubs Sulu’s head. “I have to say, I’ve had my eye on this pair since they arrived, but it felt almost selfish to keep them. They’re beautiful dogs.”
I sigh. “I understand that. I’m just so in love with them I don’t know how you could resist.”
I give them each a kiss on the forehead and stand up to leave. “’Night, babies. Merry Christmas.”
Dru and I walk hand in hand back up to her loft. Since she wasn’t expecting company and the roads are too risky to try to make it to a store, we’re having pasta for our Christmas Eve dinner. I don’t mind; I just want to be with her.
She starts moving around the kitchen, and soon the pasta water is going, she’s steaming some asparagus, and to my surprise, she whips up an alfredo sauce from scratch.
“I remember you loved to cook,” I tell her.
“I do. I’ve taken some cooking classes over the years, just for fun. They’re easy to find here in the Wine Country.”
“And now I’m getting to reap the benefits. Um, I still can’t cook, by the way. I feel like I should disclose that.”
“That’s okay, baby. You just do your work and come home and let me wait on you.”
“Home?”
I try hard to ignore the butterfly wings that are going in my chest again.
They stop what they’re doing and come around the counter, taking my hands in theirs.
“That’s what I hope for us. It doesn’t need to happen right away, of course. And I know your work is every bit as important as mine is, but…I hope this isn’t freaking you out, because your cheeks are flushed, and—”
I cut her off with a kiss, unable to speak. She kisses me back, and keeps on kissing me, and I can feel her smiling against my lips.
I pull back just enough to whisper, “I love you so much, Dru.”
“And I love you so much, Evie. My girl. Will you be my girl?”
“Of course. I think I always have been.”
She kisses me again, and we don’t stop until the pasta timer goes off.
“How rude!” she says, laughing, her dimples flashing.
We eat our dinner sitting on pillows under the Christmas tree.
The lights in the loft are low, with only the twinkling white lights on the tree to illuminate, and we talk for hours against a background of quiet music, drinking some really good Cabernet from a local winery.
It’s a simple evening, but one of the best of my life.
This is what life with her would be like. Like heaven every day.
Of course, we’ll face some bumps in the road, but Dru makes me feel as if I can take on anything; as if we can.
Eventually she takes me to bed, undresses me and lays me on my back.
She covers my body with hers, holding my wrists captive in her strong hands, and as she grinds into me, pleasure builds, higher and faster because of her command.
She kisses my neck, sinks her teeth in a bit, and the pain goes through me along with the pleasure, until it’s all one sensation.
Everything is a sensual blur. Her body and mine, naked skin to naked skin. When she sucks my nipple into her mouth, I come in an instant, my body rocked with sensation as I cry out.
“Dru! Ahhh!”
But she doesn’t stop. Letting my wrists go, she moves down between my thighs, no less commanding because she’s not holding me down.
She dives right in, working my clit with her mouth, pressing her fingers inside of me and pumping, pumping.
And there’s some sort of magic tonight, because I’m coming again in mere moments, shivering with the pleasure rocketing through my system, hot and dizzying.
“I need you,” I tell her, my breath coming out in gasping pants.
“Tell me what you need, darlin’.”
“I need to touch you.”
“Ah, baby. Yes.”
They lay down beside me and we turn to face each other.
I let my hands roam over their warm skin, then my lips as I kiss their mouth, their throat, the soft curve of their breast before licking and sucking their nipple.
They are so exquisitely sensitive, and soon they’re moaning and squirming.
I suck harder, moving from one to the other, and I notice the right side is more sensitive, so I focus my efforts there.
I slip my hand between their thighs, and they’re so wet; it feels so lovely as I slide my fingers through the slick heat. And even before I get to their clit, they come, calling my name.
“Evie! Ah, God…”
Before they’re done quaking, I tell her, “More.”
She growls at me, but she lets me press onto her clit, then slide a finger into her wet hole so I can fuck her.
I angle my hand so I can work her clit at the same time, and keep my mouth on her tits.
I can feel her heating up inside, the way her pussy clenches around my fingers, and when she comes again, her body wracked with pleasure as she groans, a deep, guttural sound from deep in her throat, I feel as if it’s a gift, being able to make her come like that.
“Jesus, baby. You’re gonna ruin me.”
“Oh, I hope so,” I say with a small giggle.
Everything—every single thing—just feels good with her, and I can’t get enough.
We lay there and talk for hours, and at one point she gets up, and when she returns from the bathroom she tells me, “It’s midnight. Merry Christmas, my baby.”
“Yes, yours. Merry Christmas.”
She draws me closer and kisses my mouth, then pulls back to look at me. “I love you, Evie. So damn much. You’re my gift this year.”
“I love you, too. So much. I don’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want the night to be over. You’ve given me Christmas back. You’ve given me you. And I don’t want it to end.”
“Tomorrow is Christmas Day, baby. We still have that. And then next year, and the year after that.”
“Will we really?” I have to ask, knowing the answer. But I need her to tell me again.
“Yes, really. We’ll have all the Christmases together from now on. I’m here. I’ll just be waiting for you to be ready to call my place your home. But you take all the time you need. It can be a year from now. Or tomorrow.”
“It already feels like home.”
Home.
It’s been an alien concept to me, something to grasp at but never quite within reach.
I never knew that it would feel like this, so warm and wonderful and safe.
And I know I don’t ever have to feel lost again, because we’ve found each other, finally.
I’m already home, no matter where I am with her. Because Dru is my home.