Chapter 19
Mia
Thankfully I feel much better when I wake up. The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Donna’s concerned face.
She smiles sweetly at me. “Arianna, you gave us quite a scare.”
“I gave myself a scare,” I admit, pushing my elbows into the bed and lifting myself into a more upright position. Donna helps by raising my bed. “What was that? Was it something to do with the accident or my brain?” I suddenly try and think of past memories before the accident, but no, it hasn’t brought anything back.
“You had a severe allergic reaction and went into anaphylactic shock,” Donna explains as she wraps a blood pressure cuff around my arm.
“What am I allergic to?”
“We are waiting for your test results to come back, but we are almost certain that you are severely allergic to peanuts.”
“Wow. So is that something that has happened because of the accident?” I ask.
“It’s very unlikely. Allergies, especially nut allergies, start in infanthood. I would assume this has been something you have had all your life, especially with how severe your reaction was. Your blood pressure is fine now.” Donna removes the cuff from my arm.
“I don’t understand. Eric said it was my favourite chocolate bar.” This doesn’t make any sense. “Argh! I’m so frustrated, Donna. I wish I could remember who I am.”
Eric insists I wasn’t allergic to nuts before my accident. The doctors have said it’s very unusual, but not impossible. I don’t believe him, though. I think he may be trying to kill me or the baby. Why, I’m not sure, but I will have to be careful once we are living together.
Over the next week, I work hard with the physios until I can walk well with crutches and get up and down stairs independently. I’m seventeen weeks pregnant now, and everything looks perfect with the baby. Once I have said goodbye to all the staff at the hospital and thanked them all for everything they done, Eric drives us to our home.
Along the way, we discuss living arrangements.
“I’ve made the bed up for you already. I’ve got you some new bedding. I hope you like it. I thought I would sleep in the spare room for now until you are fully recovered, but once the baby is born, I’ll move in there with you, and the baby can have their own room.”
“There’s only two in the whole house? Only two bedrooms?” I demand in horror.
Eric laughs. “Yes, how many do you want?”
I will not be sharing a bed with this man. When I’m around him, I feel homesick.
After a journey of about twenty minutes, we pull down a narrow road only wide enough for one car. The road is bumpy, and the trees either side are so overgrown, their leaves scratch the car as we pass.
“Do we live down here?” I ask, staring out of the window.
“Yes, just a little further. There it is. All on its own. A lovely quiet spot with no neighbours to disturb us.”
The house fills me with dread. I hadn’t known what to expect, but I anticipated more than this tired little house. It’s an old red brick house. The windows have wooden frames that are in desperate need of replacing. The roof sinks in on one side, and the front door looks multicoloured due to the many different coats of paint it’s had over the years, which are now peeling off.
“It’s a work-in-progress. We can do the house up together, make it our own. It’s got lots of potential,” Eric says proudly as he parks up next to the house.
I carefully get out of the car and walk up the overgrown path. It could be quite beautiful, actually. The gardens are surrounded by trees full of leaves blowing gently in the wind. My eyes are drawn to one tree in particular, a smaller tree at the side of the house. Being careful not to trip or get my crutches caught on the long grass, I make my way over to it. It’s an apple tree. My arm naturally reaches up, and I pluck an apple from a low branch. I instantly bring it to my nose and breathe it in. The smell immediately brings a flash of a memory back. I’m doing the same thing—reaching for an apple, plucking it from a tree, and bringing it to my nose.
“Hey, Arianna, are you okay?” Eric comes jogging over, disturbing me from my moment.
“Yes, I’m fine. This is an apple tree.”
“Oh yes, so it is. That will save us a bob or two on fruit, then.” Eric laughs.
“Have I been here before?”
“Erm, no, you haven’t. Come on, let’s get you inside.” Eric gently puts his hand on my elbow and ushers me towards the house.
I’m pleasantly surprised when we get inside. The place is clean and bright. It needs an update, but I think I might enjoy doing some interior designing. Eric shows me around. There’s a decent size kitchen with a small table that would just about fit four people round it. The living room has two small sofas and a television on a cabinet. The bedrooms are both a similar size, with a double bed, bedside table, and wardrobe. There’s only the one bathroom, which does bother me a little. The main thing I notice though is that everywhere is very bare. There are no photographs or belongings anywhere.
“Eric, where is all our stuff?”
“What stuff?” he asks evasively, knowing full well what I mean.
“Ornaments, photographs, paintings, anything?”
“Well, we are quite minimalistic, really, and the photographs I just haven’t unpacked yet. Plus, if we are going to do some decorating, there’s no point unpacking and packing again.”
He does have a point. In my room, there are some clothes hanging in the wardrobe and some underwear in the drawer. Their style doesn’t please me at all.
“Eric, I’m going to need some new clothes,” I say, wide-eyed as I close my wardrobe door.
“Okay. When you’re a bit stronger, I’ll take you shopping,” Eric agrees.
That evening we settle on the sofa to watch some television. The signal is rubbish. Eric spends ages messing about with the aerial, trying to get a clear picture.
“Argh, I will have to get on the roof tomorrow and sort it out. This will have to do for tonight—some foreign channel.” Eric gives up and slumps on his sofa.
The foreign channel, as Eric put it, is showing a film with English subtitles. The film is Italian. The words have me smiling and relaxed. I get lost in the actors’ voices. It gives me comfort, and I feel connected to it somehow.
“It’s so strange, Eric. I understand every word they are saying. If anything, it feels more natural than English.”
“Oh, really?” Eric replies, seeming uninterested.
“Yeah. Did I live in Italy when I was younger?” I ask as I watch the beautiful Italian scenery on the screen.
“No,” he replies sharply.
“At the hospital, you said I didn’t like to speak Italian. Why is that?” I’m sitting up straighter on the sofa now, feeling like this is something I need to know more about.
“Because it upset you. I don’t know. Give it a rest, Arianna.” Eric turns the television off.
“Hey, I was watching that!” I exclaim.
“I’m going to bed.” Eric leaves in a huff.
What is his problem? I really think he doesn’t want me to get my memory back. Well, if he isn’t going to help me, I will do it on my own. I lift myself up off the sofa, hop across the room, and retrieve the remote control. I switch the television back on, and thankfully the film is still on. Lying down, I rub my tummy, feeling the little life growing inside me. With the Italian film and the sensation of little kicks and movements inside of me, for the first time since I woke up from my accident, I feel positive about my future.
After a couple of days of rest at home, Eric takes me into the village to do some shopping. It’s a lovely little place, and everyone is so friendly. It seems like everyone knows each other and there’s a strong community here. The village, albeit small, has everything you would need. There’s a post office, butcher’s, greengrocer—you name it, it’s here. It even has a couple of boutique clothes shops, which are just what I need and a cosmetics store I am enjoying browsing in.
“Right, come on, Arianna, can we go now?” Eric moans as he follows me around the makeup stands.
“Wait!” I exclaim as I’m filled with a sudden rush of familiarity.
“What is it?” Eric asks.
“MIA. This makeup brand. I recognise it.” I pick up a lipstick and take off the lid, then twist it up to see the colour. The brightness of the red makes me smile. “Is this the brand I usually wear, Eric?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think you ever wore makeup,” he replies, irritated.
I find his answer hard to believe given how strongly I am drawn to the red, glittering cosmetic stand.
“Is it okay if I just get a few bits?” I ask, hoping I haven’t spent all Eric’s money.
“Yes, just hurry up.”
“Can I help you?” a very glamourous retail assistant asks.
“Yes please, that would be lovely. I need everything. A primer, foundation, concealer, the lot.” The names of the types of products come out of my mouth like a reflex. “I had an accident a few months ago where I suffered burns to my face. They’re healing well, but I’ll need something that isn’t going to affect the healing process.”
“Absolutely no problem at all. We have some ultra-light products in the MIA sensitive range that will be perfect. You take a seat on the stool, and we will get to work selecting what is most suitable for your skin tone.” The assistant helps me onto the stool and gets straight to work. “You know, I feel like I have met you before. What is your name?” she asks, while dabbing various products onto my face.
“Arianna. But I’m sorry, I wouldn’t know if we had met before if we had. When I had my accident, I lost my memory. Do you think you might know me, then?”
“No, sorry I don’t recognise the name. Maybe you just remind me of someone. Oh god, but how awful. I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it must be to not remember who you are.”
“Yeah, it’s tough. But I have a feeling my memory will return any day now. I’ve already had a lot of familiar feelings.” I say, which gets a quizzical look from Eric.
On the journey home, Eric is very quiet.
“Thanks for buying me everything today, Eric. I feel awful not having my own money. Once I’ve had the baby, I’ll see about getting a job so I can help support us.”
“There’s no need. I earn enough for both of us,” Eric replies.
“What is it you do? I know you work from home on your computer, but what are you actually doing?” I inquire.
“I’m an accountant for a large building company. It’s easy enough. I can work where and when I want, and it pays well.” He shrugs. “You just concentrate on our family.”
Eric puts his hand on my stomach, and I have to fight the urge to push him away. It’s his baby, too, so I have to let him share in it.
The next few months pass quickly. Eric and I have been renovating the house, and it looks pretty spectacular now. We have a new bathroom, which I tiled myself, a new kitchen that Eric and I fitted, and all the walls have been sanded and painted. We make a good team, surprisingly. Eric was kind enough to let me have free reign in the design. I have chosen all the décor, and I’m feeling more at home. I just wish I could shake this constant heartache. It’s like I miss someone dreadfully, only I cannot remember who.
Now that the house is finished, I have been working on the garden. It’s a nice sunny day today, so I leave Eric working on his computer and go outside. There are some waist-high planters I want to clear out, and with my bump getting quite large now, I need something to sit on to save my back. I remember seeing some old furniture in the shed when Eric was last in there, so I go and have a look at what I can find.
The shed is crammed full of junk. The gardening equipment is at the entrance along with the decorating tools we have used, but behind them are tables with boxes piled on top of each other. I carefully move things outside so I can get closer, hoping there’s a chair or stool I can use.
When I get nearer to the boxes, I see they have writing on them. Bedroom. Living room . Curiosity takes over, and I begin opening the box marked Bedroom . Inside the items are wrapped in bubble wrap. I take out the first one and unravel it to find a photo frame with a wedding picture inside it. The date and “Arianna and Eric’s wedding day” are written at the bottom. Eric looks quite handsome, smiling happily in his suit. The bride looks beautiful in a fitted white dress and veil. Only the bride… isn’t me.
“What the hell are you doing in here!”
Erics voice makes me jump. So much so, the frame falls from my hands and smashes onto the floor.