Chapter 10 #3
Mom was still frowning. Dad’s lips were a straight, concerned line.
Avery tossed them another shrug and an unbothered smile, like oh well, what can you do?
But she could tell what her parents were thinking, which was that they’d raised her in a nurturing, loving environment and even that wasn’t enough to prevent her from failing miserably in her adulthood.
At this point they should just focus their energy on Hunter.
She wondered what they told their neighborhood friends during run-ins at Wegmans.
Oh, yeah, Avery’s still making tweets, she imagined them saying .
Hunter, on the other hand, is gonna be the next Bill Gates!
“Well, maybe you should reach out to those other magazines you applied to, then,” Dad suggested. He sounded cautious, like he didn’t want to startle a skittish animal. “They could have a staff writer opening now.”
Avery scrunched her face as she recalled the magazines she’d told her parents she applied to after Ryan dumped her but did not.
“Maybe.” She gulped down the rest of her tea, preparing to leave. She had no interest in hearing about her lost potential or being the subject of her parents’ pity once again. “I’m gonna go for a drive.”
Avery headed outside and climbed into the white Honda Civic she’d had since high school and couldn’t afford to park in the city now.
She pulled out of the street and cracked open the window, letting the cool, piney air refresh her skin.
She passed the bagel shop, where she used to get bagels because she wanted to and not because they soaked up the booze in her gut; the strip mall parking lot, where teenagers more sexually deviant than she’d been with Thomas in high school used to hook up.
She passed the road that led to her high school, too, which reminded her of a fight she got into at lunch once with her childhood friend Joan.
She couldn’t remember what caused the fight, but she remembered that after the argument, Joan shouted across the table, “Well, Jacob imprints on Bella and Edward’s baby!
” Avery was in the middle of reading Breaking Dawn.
Joan might as well have told her to go fuck herself.
Avery missed fighting with Morgan about stupid things like that.
Like the time Morgan put up an Instagram post and Avery didn’t like it right away.
Why haven’t you liked my post yet? Morgan had DMed her.
My likes-to-minutes ratio is terrible. Or the time Avery got annoyed when Morgan bombarded her with dog memes that did not spark the warm and fuzzy reaction Morgan had wanted them to.
this isn’t making me like dogs, Avery had texted . it’s making me feel like a bitch.
Avery wasn’t even sure if they were fighting now as much as Morgan was disappointed in her, which was undoubtedly worse.
But Avery could never tell Morgan why Blair’s comment rattled her enough to make her run out of the engagement party.
Because for all her friends knew and for all they would continue to know, Avery did get too drunk and hurt someone she loved senior year, like Blair said.
Avery had, indeed, had sex with someone else.
It hadn’t been her choice, but it was the only version of the truth that mattered.
Avery pulled into the park, then sat down on a bench in front of the frozen lake that disappeared into the horizon.
She wrapped her arms around her upper body to warm herself up.
A man in black workout gear jogged by before stopping to lean against a tree and catch his breath, white clouds of air billowing up into the sky as he exhaled.
His brown wavy hair glistened appealingly with sweat and fell in thick ropes into his face, and he had some of the nicest arms Avery had ever seen.
A beat later, he caught her staring at him, and she glanced away. Then she looked back again. “Jonathan?”
He squinted at her before his face opened in recognition. “Avery?” Jonathan jogged over and went to give Avery a hug but quickly pulled back. “Actually, no, you don’t want to touch me. I’m covered in sweat.”
Avery let her eyes wander up and down Jonathan’s firm, toned body.
She and Jonathan had been friendly in high school drama club, but they lost touch after graduation and grew further apart for no reason except that they led different lives.
There were rumors that he’d had a crush on her, too, but he never acted on it, and she never saw him that way.
Now he was much cuter than she remembered.
“No worries! How are you?” she said.
“I’m great,” Jonathan said with a very nice smile. “So funny I ran into you! Did you know the high school is doing Fiddler on the Roof this year? Are we that old that they’re recycling the plays now?”
Avery laughed. “That’s so funny. It’s been, what … six years since we played husband and wife?”
“I know. Sometimes I’ll wake up in the morning to that freaking ‘Miracle of Miracles’ song ringing inside my skull. It’s the worst.” Jonathan smiled again. The crow’s feet that crinkled next to his eyes made him even cuter. She noticed, too, that his eyes were blue. Like Pete’s.
She shook away the thought of him. He’d certainly forgotten all about her by now after the hasty way she left his parents’ house.
And if Ryan did come to Morgan and Charlie’s wedding, surely it didn’t matter who Avery’s plus-one was as long as it was someone .
Maybe that someone could be Jonathan. He could help her show everyone that she’d moved on just as well as Pete could, even if he wasn’t her first choice.
“Anyway, how are you?” Jonathan asked. “I heard you moved to the city.”
Avery tensed at the reminder of what was waiting for her back home, at the trail of destruction she’d left behind.
She tried to focus on the park. The sky shone a beautiful, cloudless blue, and the winter air was energizing and crisp.
She came here so often as a teenager. It made her so happy. She just wanted to be happy again.
“I did, but I’m home for a couple of days,” she said. “You still live around here?”
“Yeah, can’t seem to escape this town.” Jonathan playfully rolled his eyes. “And the law firm I’m interning at is about ten miles away.”
“Of course you’re gonna be a lawyer. You were always so good at public speaking. What kind of law do you wanna do?”
“I’m thinking litigator, but who knows? I’m trying to go to law school next year.” Jonathan kicked back his foot and grabbed his ankle to stretch out his leg. “Yes, I’m just as nerdy as you remember.”
Avery watched his thigh muscle clench through his running tights. “Perhaps even nerdier.”
Jonathan glanced at his watch and started jogging in place. “Hey, you around tomorrow? I’d love to catch up more when I’m not a sweaty mess.”
Avery’s eyes brightened. This could be her chance to try something new with a guy from home.
She liked the responsible, well-rounded version of herself that she was when she was friends with Jonathan as a teen.
Hanging out with him could help her tap into that side of herself again.
In high school, she didn’t yet have any regrets, wasn’t yet tainted by the selfishness of a man who felt entitled to her body.
She’d love to remember what that felt like.
“Absolutely,” she said.
“How about lunch?” he asked. “1 PM ?” Avery nodded, and Jonathan took out his phone.
“I think I still have your number in my contacts from high school.” He recited her number to confirm, and they exchanged a smile before agreeing to see each other tomorrow.
Then she watched him disappear deeper into the park.